美国国家公共电台 NPR--These Russian couples didn't plan to get married. The Ukraine war changed their minds

These Russian couples didn't plan to get married. The Ukraine war changed their minds

Transcript¹

About a year ago, some friends asked Tatyana Neustroyeva and Pyotr Kolyadin that fateful couple question: Would they get married? In unison², they gave their replies: He said yes — and she said no.

The two hadn't discussed it. At 40, they'd known each other half their lives and been together almost two years, living in St. Petersburg, Russia. Tatyana viewed marriage a bit of an archaic⁴ convention; Pyotr was into it, but wanted the time to be right.

Then, on Feb. 24, Russian troops invaded Ukraine. The couple felt they couldn't breathe, floating in a fog, with one clarity: They should get married, now.

"To me, we are facing a world apocalypse," Pyotr says, "and this is sort of like an anchor that you throw forward and maybe somehow it will pull you out. It's kind of an island of order in a world of chaos⁵."

Soon, they began noticing — on social media, on local news — lots of other couples holding rushed, quick ceremonies. In St. Petersburg, articles noted⁶ long lines for fast-track registration⁷. In Moscow, some 9,000 couples married in April in a 12-year record.

Uncertainty⁸ and fear spur a search for closure

"The more people think that whatever is coming could seriously upend their life, the more likely they are to make relationship decisions," says William Hiebert, a marriage counselor⁹ in Illinois and general secretary of the International Family Therapy Association.

Hiebert points out other big disasters had spurred waves of weddings, such as the much-studied 1989 Hurricane Hugo, the 2011 tsunami¹⁰ in Japan and the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Psychologists explain that when uncertainty meets fear in a way that's too big to grasp, people crave¹¹ closure — in this case by defining and sealing their love.

Tatyana and Pyotr got married on a Tuesday among six friends and, afterward¹², captured the memory at a photo booth.

Tatyana Neustroyeva

"It's sort of trying to grab time and put it to a standstill," Hiebert says, "an attempt to control what little you can control."

In fact, for Russian couples, the war in Ukraine became a marriage catalyst¹³ for reasons both psychological and practical.

Pragmatic reasons are different now

After about two years of dating, Kirill Gorodnii and his now-wife Katya were looking for a shared apartment in Moscow when Russia invaded Ukraine, the birthplace of Kirill's father.

"The first day of the war, we were shocked," says Kirill, 27. "The second day of the war, we were scared. The third day of the war, we decided¹⁴ that we have to move elsewhere."

To this day, the Kremlin insists its attacks on Ukraine are a "special military operation," with new laws threatening a decade in prison for protests that call it a war. At one point, Kirill and Katya found themselves finally discussing marriage — in case one of them got arrested.

"So the spouse¹⁵ can get visits," Kirill explains. It was a grim joke, he says, except not really a joke.

Other couples mention rumors¹⁶ that Russia's military could mobilize all men in a nationwide draft. Wives get more access than girlfriends to hospital visitation, military hotlines, financial support — and to morgues, as Tatyana noted in passing.

Leaning on love amid disorder¹⁷

Kirill and Katya joined tens of thousands of Russians who fled to neighboring Armenia and Georgia. Then, Katya's international employer shuttered its Russian office and offered her a new job in Dubai. Kirill could reside there only as her husband.

The two rushed to marry in the Georgian capital of Tbilisi. On the way to register, by pure chance, they ran into some friends, who got recruited as witnesses. Six guests joined for dinner to toast their unexpected matrimony. Given the circumstances, Kirill says, it was a perfect wedding.

Tatyana and Pyotr, too, did not plan to invite anyone to their surprise wedding. But, as these things go, friends found out and the event, as Pyotr put it, began sprouting¹⁸ its usual accouterments of bouquets¹⁹ and champagne²⁰ bottles.

On a city portal, the couple picked an available location for their Tuesday evening registration: incidentally, St. Petersburg's most historic, palatial²¹ marriage hall. They wed³ under its soaring ornate ceilings, surrounded by ancient marble and a handful of closest friends, Tatyana in white linen²², Pyotr in jeans, giggling²³.

"I guess we're coping with the help of love," Tatyana says. Amid despair, disorder and discord²⁴, "at least we'll know that we are a family."

1 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

2 unison   

n.步调一致，行动一致

参考例句：

• The governments acted in unison to combat terrorism.这些国家的政府一致行动对付恐怖主义。
• My feelings are in unison with yours.我的感情与你的感情是一致的。

3 wed   

v.娶，嫁，与…结婚

参考例句：

• The couple eventually wed after three year engagement.这对夫妇在订婚三年后终于结婚了。
• The prince was very determined to wed one of the king's daughters.王子下定决心要娶国王的其中一位女儿。

4 archaic   

adj.(语言、词汇等)古代的，已不通用的

参考例句：

• The company does some things in archaic ways,such as not using computers for bookkeeping.这个公司有些做法陈旧，如记账不使用电脑。
• Shaanxi is one of the Chinese archaic civilized origins which has a long history.陕西省是中国古代文明发祥之一，有悠久的历史。

5 chaos   

n.混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后，城市一片混乱。
• The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。

6 noted   

adj.著名的，知名的

参考例句：

• The local hotel is noted for its good table.当地的那家酒店以餐食精美而著称。
• Jim is noted for arriving late for work.吉姆上班迟到出了名。

7 registration   

n.登记，注册，挂号

参考例句：

• Marriage without registration is not recognized by law.法律不承认未登记的婚姻。
• What's your registration number?你挂的是几号？

8 uncertainty   

n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物

参考例句：

• Her comments will add to the uncertainty of the situation.她的批评将会使局势更加不稳定。
• After six weeks of uncertainty,the strain was beginning to take its toll.6个星期的忐忑不安后，压力开始产生影响了。

9 counselor   

n.顾问，法律顾问

参考例句：

• The counselor gave us some disinterested advice.顾问给了我们一些无私的忠告。
• Chinese commercial counselor's office in foreign countries.中国驻国外商务参赞处。

10 tsunami   

n.海啸

参考例句：

• Powerful quake sparks tsunami warning in Japan.大地震触发了日本的海啸预警。
• Coastlines all around the Indian Ocean inundated by a huge tsunami.大海啸把印度洋沿岸地区都淹没了。

11 crave   

vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求

参考例句：

• Many young children crave attention.许多小孩子渴望得到关心。
• You may be craving for some fresh air.你可能很想呼吸呼吸新鲜空气。

12 afterward   

adv.后来；以后

参考例句：

• Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏，然后吃饭。
• Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来，这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。

13 catalyst   

n.催化剂，造成变化的人或事

参考例句：

• A catalyst is a substance which speeds up a chemical reaction.催化剂是一种能加速化学反应的物质。
• The workers'demand for better conditions was a catalyst for social change.工人们要求改善工作条件促进了社会变革。

14 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

15 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

16 rumors   

n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷

参考例句：

• Rumors have it that the school was burned down. 有谣言说学校给烧掉了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Rumors of a revolt were afloat. 叛变的谣言四起。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 disorder   

n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调

参考例句：

• When returning back,he discovered the room to be in disorder.回家后，他发现屋子里乱七八糟。
• It contained a vast number of letters in great disorder.里面七零八落地装着许多信件。

18 sprouting   

v.发芽( sprout的现在分词 )；抽芽；出现；（使）涌现出

参考例句：

• new leaves sprouting from the trees 树上长出的新叶
• They were putting fresh earth around sprouting potato stalks. 他们在往绽出新芽的土豆秧周围培新土。 来自名作英译部分

19 bouquets   

n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香

参考例句：

• The welcoming crowd waved their bouquets. 欢迎的群众摇动着花束。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• As the hero stepped off the platform, he was surrounded by several children with bouquets. 当英雄走下讲台时，已被几名手持花束的儿童围住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 champagne   

n.香槟酒；微黄色

参考例句：

• There were two glasses of champagne on the tray.托盘里有两杯香槟酒。
• They sat there swilling champagne.他们坐在那里大喝香槟酒。

21 palatial   

adj.宫殿般的，宏伟的

参考例句：

• Palatial office buildings are being constructed in the city.那个城市正在兴建一些宫殿式办公大楼。
• He bought a palatial house.他买了套富丽堂皇的大房子。

22 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。

23 giggling   

v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We just sat there giggling like naughty schoolchildren. 我们只是坐在那儿像调皮的小学生一样的咯咯地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I can't stand her giggling, she's so silly. 她吃吃地笑，叫我真受不了，那样子傻透了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

24 discord   

n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐

参考例句：

• These two answers are in discord.这两个答案不一样。
• The discord of his music was hard on the ear.他演奏的不和谐音很刺耳。