What I Have Lived For

What I Have Lived For

By Bertrand Russell

 

Three passions, simple but ¹⁾overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing¹ for love, the search for knowledge, and ²⁾unbearable² pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, in a ³⁾wayward course, over a deep ocean of ⁴⁾anguish³, reaching to the very ⁵⁾verge⁴ of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ⁶⁾ecstasy⁵-ecstasy so great that I would often have ⁷⁾sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness-that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim⁶ of the world into the cold ⁸⁾unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic ⁹⁾miniature, the ¹⁰⁾prefiguring vision of the heaven that ¹¹⁾saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what-at last-I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to ¹²⁾apprehend⁷ the ¹³⁾Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux⁸. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate⁹ in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by ¹⁴⁾oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their pain make a ¹⁵⁾mockery of what human life should be. I long to ¹⁶⁾alleviate¹⁰ the evil, but I can't, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

 

我的人生追求

 

有三种简单然而无比强烈的激情左右了我的一生：对爱的渴望，对知识的探索和对人类苦难的难以忍受的怜悯。这些激情像飓风，反复地吹拂过深重的苦海，濒于绝境。

我寻找爱，首先是因为它使人心醉神迷——这种陶醉是如此的美妙，使我愿意牺牲所有的余生去换取几个小时这样的欣喜。我寻找爱，还因为它解除孤独——在可怕的孤独中，一颗颤抖的灵魂从世界的边缘看到冰冷、无底、死寂的深渊。最后，我寻找爱，还因为在爱的交融中，神秘而又具体而微地，我看到了圣贤和诗人们想象出的天堂的前景。这就是我所寻找的，而且，虽然对人生来说似乎过于美妙，这也是我终于找到了的。

以同样的激情我探索知识。我希望能够理解人类的心灵。我希望能够知道群星为何闪烁。我试图领悟毕达哥拉斯所景仰的数字力量，它支配着此消彼涨。仅在不大的一定程度上，我达到了此目的。

爱和知识，只要有可能，通向着天堂。但是怜悯总把我带回尘世。痛苦呼喊的回声回荡在我的内心。忍饥挨饿的孩子，惨遭压迫者摧残的受害者，被儿女们视为可憎的负担的无助的老人，连同这整个充满了孤独、贫穷和痛苦的世界，使人类所应有的生活成为了笑柄。我渴望能够减少邪恶，但是我无能为力，而且我自己也在忍受折磨。

这就是我的一生。我发现它值得一过。如果再给我一次机会，我会很高兴地再活它一次。

 

注释：

1) overwhelmingly [7EuvE5welmiNli]   adv. 不可抵抗地

2) unbearable [Qn5bZErEbl] a. 无法忍受的

3) wayward [5weiwEd] a. 任性的

4) anguish [5AN^wiF] n. 痛苦，苦恼

5) verge [vE:dV] n. 边缘

6) ecstasy [5ekstEsi] n. 入迷

7) sacrifice [5sAkrifais] n. 牺牲

8) unfathomable [Qn5fATEmEbl] adj. 深不可测的

9) miniature [5minjEtFE] n. 缩图，缩影

10) prefigure [5pri:5fi^E] v. 预示

11) saint [seint, sEnt] n. 圣人

12) apprehend [7Apri5hend] v. 领会，理解

13) Pythagorean [pai7WA^E5ri:En] a. 毕达哥拉斯的

14) oppressor [E5presE(r)] n. 压迫者

15) mockery [5mCkEri] n. 嘲笑

16) alleviate [E5li:vieit] v. 使（痛苦）易于忍受，减轻

1 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

2 unbearable   

adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的

参考例句：

• It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
• The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。

3 anguish   

n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼

参考例句：

• She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
• The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。

4 verge   

n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• She was on the verge of bursting into tears.她快要哭出来了。

5 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

6 rim   

n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界

参考例句：

• The water was even with the rim of the basin.盆里的水与盆边平齐了。
• She looked at him over the rim of her glass.她的目光越过玻璃杯的边沿看着他。

7 apprehend   

vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑

参考例句：

• I apprehend no worsening of the situation.我不担心局势会恶化。
• Police have not apprehended her killer.警察还未抓获谋杀她的凶手。

8 flux   

n.流动；不断的改变

参考例句：

• The market is in a constant state of flux.市场行情在不断变化。
• In most reactors,there is a significant flux of fast neutrons.在大部分反应堆中都有一定强度的快中子流。

9 reverberate   

v.使回响，使反响

参考例句：

• The decision will reverberate and will jar the country.这项决定将引起反响并震撼这个国家。
• Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my hear.痛苦呼喊的一遍遍的在我的心中回响。

10 alleviate   

v.减轻，缓和，缓解(痛苦等)

参考例句：

• The doctor gave her an injection to alleviate the pain.医生给她注射以减轻疼痛。
• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。