I Am Not Phoebe

I Am Not Phoebe

How I got here…

I had always, when I was little, I wanted to be an actress—it’s so weird—I always wanted to be an actress and, I’ve sort of, I just put it on a shelf, when I was in high school and college, really 1)squelched any of those desires. And whenever I’d come back from college on a break, I’d get these little, like whispers or feelings about, “Yeah I want to, I could do this. I think you could do this.” It’s like, “Yeah, but you can’t, you know, be an actual person that you’d respect and do this, so just put it away again and go back to school and do something honorable.” And, when I moved back, it…it just overtook me. I don’t know how else to say it. It just overtook me, that I had to, I had to pursue acting¹. I could do it and I wanted to do it. So I’ve taken a lot of acting classes, I studied it in college, I’ve never learned more than I learned from 2)The Groundlings and doing 3)improvisation. 

Lucia and I…
Oh, I loved playing Lucia (in the Opposite of Sex). You know, I…I recognized so much of myself in her, because of that 4)rigidity. You know, I was talking about it myself as a teenager and young adult, just…I had all these rules and just sort of like an emotional disconnect, you know. 

Phoebe and I…

In the beginning, …in the beginning, people would meet me and just, treat me like I was this, like a, like a performer at their kid’s birthday party sort of. You know what I mean? “Oh hey, I know you’ll want to do this!” like dying to perform any opportunity I can. You know, every time I met someone. That was always funny to me, just thinking that I would love to, I can’t wait to. And sometimes I’d even make, when they get really persistent², I’d make up something about, “You know I’m really not allowed because…that’s property of 5)Warner Brothers and, I’m not allowed. I’ll look into it. You know what, ’cause people ask, this comes up a lot. I need to find out if I can do this or not.” 

It’s, it’s a mixed bag of emotions, you know. I…I love everybody I’m working with, and, it’s a good show, people like it, people watch it. That’s all good. But, it’s fine that it’s time to move on. I mean, honestly, I can’t see doing this for another ten years. You know, it has to end at some point. This is as good a time as any. 

I’ll miss, you know, those five actors and, the executive producers I’ve become you know friendly with. I don’t know that I’ll miss, I think I’ll even miss…Phoebe, or being her, you know, like putting on those, putting on that person...just putting on that skin of Phoebe, I’ll miss that. Anyway, I miss being so, you know, unreasonably³ optimistic and cheerful about absolutely everything, ’cause that was nice. That was a nice thing to do every day. 

注释：
1) squelch [skweltF] v. 压制
2) The Groundlings 低价座观众剧团。该词源于英国伊丽莎白时期那些只买得起站票或后座票的观众。该剧团位于好莱坞，是洛杉矶历史最悠久的喜剧团，是美国许多大牌喜剧明星的诞生地。
3) improvisation [7imprEvai5zeiFEn] n. 即席创作，即兴小品
4) rigidity [ri5dViditi] n. 僵化, 刻板, 严格
5) Warner Brothers 华纳兄弟公司，这是美国一家大型娱乐企业，旗下有电影公司、电视台、影视制作、影碟、杂志等等。《老友记》就是由这家公司出品的。

丽莎·库卓如是说

我的演员梦

从很小的时候开始，我就一直想当演员——说来也怪，虽然我一直想当演员，在中学和大学时代，我却压制住这样的念头，把演员梦束之高阁。然而每次大学放假回来，我都会有这种感觉在窃窃私语：“是的，我想做……我可以干这行，我认为自己能干这行，”另一个声音接着又说，“不错，但这样的话你就不能成为受人尊敬的那种人，还是把这种想法抛到一边，回学校去，做更体面的事情。”然而回去以后，这样的念头忽然间又充斥着我的脑海——我想不出用其它的方式来表达——它忽然间充斥着我的脑海，告诉我必须要投身演艺事业。我可以干这行，而且这也是我一直梦寐以求的。于是我在大学里修了很多的表演课程。通过在低价座观众剧团表演即兴小品，我获得了前所未有的收益。

我喜欢的角色

哦，我喜欢演（《性的对立面》里的）露莎。你知道，因为她性格耿直，我在她身上看到了自己。我指的是青少年和刚成年时期的自己。我需要顾及的条条框框太多了，以至几乎产生了感情障碍。

我的《老友记》

开始的时候，开始的时候人们一见到我，就当我是他们孩子生日派对上的表演者，有点这种味道。你明白我的意思吧？“哦，嘿，我知道你想这么做！”就像我一有机会都要抢着去表演似的。知道吗，每次我遇见不认识的人都是如此。一想到他们认为我不仅喜欢那种表演，而且迫不及待，我就觉得挺好笑。有的时候在他们一再坚持之下，我甚至会编出借口说，“你知道吗，我真的没有权利这么做，因为……那归华纳兄弟公司所有，我不能这么做。我再去查查看，为什么呢，因为人们老是提这个要求。我得去弄清楚我到底能不能这么做。”
酸甜苦辣都有，你知道。我喜欢和我共事的每个人，而且这是个很棒的电视节目，大家都喜欢它，大家都来捧场。这都是好事，但是，到了该收手的时候，这也很好。我的意思是……老实说，我无法想象这部剧再拍一个十年。你也知道，天下没有不散的筵席。现在就是一个好时机。
我会想念那五位演员，还有制片主任——我跟他们已经成为了好朋友。我不知道我是否会想念……我认为我甚至会想念……菲比，或者说饰演菲比。就像变成……变成那个人……我会怀念进入菲比的这个角色的时候。不管怎么说，我怀念她能对所有事情都这么没来由的乐观和开朗，因为那样很好，是每天都应有的态度。

 

1 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

2 persistent   

adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的

参考例句：

• Albert had a persistent headache that lasted for three days.艾伯特连续头痛了三天。
• She felt embarrassed by his persistent attentions.他不时地向她大献殷勤，使她很难为情。

3 unreasonably   

adv. 不合理地

参考例句：

• He was also petty, unreasonably querulous, and mean. 他还是个气量狭窄，无事生非，平庸刻薄的人。
• Food in that restaurant is unreasonably priced. 那家饭店价格不公道。