为什么一些单身女士喜欢与已婚男士约会？

... why are single women attracted to married men?

There,there are so many reasons. And in, in my practice I look at it kind of the behind-the-scenes guy. Cause a lot of times we just do stuff we don't know why we're doing it, right?In this case for single women, there,there is this, this concept of what a married man is. It's like a fantasy but it's, it's also reality. It's, it's like a married man has that stamp of approval by a woman,right? And,and, and so there's, there's something about this guy, it's er, it's intrigue¹. It's competition. It's, it's dramatic. It's...

It's the thrill of the challenge?

It's the thrill of the chance, you know, think about this too, er, guys in, in certain situations,dating situations are considered players sometimes,right? A married man does not carry the stigma² of being a player because he's married.(right.)You know ,(And part of appeal) it's, it's a completely different look at, at him than you are if you have a single guy.

Harry³, let's talk, you have a couple of really interesting points about why women choose to go this way. And one of the things you say is loneliness turns a blind eye. what do you mean by that?

I think so. Well, I think there're, there arefar more single women than there are single men with so this statistics say.So if you want to be with somebody,sometimes you wanna be with somebody so badly.That you said, um, well at least get him part-time. And of course,that leads to a lot of other problems because you never can completely feel that loneliness because he's not fully⁴ available to you. But I do think that a lot of women are, are choosing to be with married men because there is no other choice they think.

And one of the other things too is the fear of commitment because you get to have him but you don't actually have to be with him all the time.

Well, I, I think that's a huge part because very often people want to be in a relationship but they are afraid that if I show my whole-self,I'll get rejected. In a relationship with somebody married you know deep down inside that the rejection⁵ could happen you can give your,you could give your whole-self but he's not gonna take your whole-self. So,you, it, it's a weird⁶ kind of a twist, but the fear of commitment I believe pushes them to choose someone who can't fully come to them and say let's walk down that aisle⁷ together and have our committed relationship together.Share our whole-selves.

Is that part of it?Is it the lack of the strings⁸ being attached that's part of the appeal but who in this party is thinking I'm doing something really wrong here.

Yeah,the slogan is "no rings, no strings,"right? That's, that's the slogan.(Wow.... yes.) , right? there it is. It's, okay. If you are, if you are a single woman,and there is a married man out there, and you engage in some kind of, you know, physical activity relationship with him. It's like,hey,I didn't do anything wrong,I'm single,he is the married one.The accountability is on him, it's not on me. You know,when you look at,when you look at fear of commitment, you know everybody talks about that. What, would it is that exactly? Would it means is that I can engage in a relationship with somebody as long as he doesn't get emotionally intimate where as Harry has said(inaudible) I know,hold on,hold on.Yeah,the concept here is if it's a lustful⁹ relationship that everybody seems happy.(You are right)Although it's based on distrust,absolutely it's okay.The minute that this kinda of relationship the single woman and a married guy turns emotional.Totally different story.Totally different about it.

Right, which brings up, which brings up my other point that a lot of times I think people get involved in these relationships for fun,for the lustful relationship. And when it changes,because,you know,we have hearts,we have feelings. When the changes have been lasted long enough, then trouble is there. And then,and then we see the stalkers and then we see the one,'are you going to leave her for me?'(True) And , and the letters, the common mail all that craziness that happens when love comes into the picture and I think that people are wrong to believe that love won't come into the picture if they grow to be close to each other.

You guys are great. I'd love to continue going. Unfortunately we are running out of time. Part two is, is do, do they actually leave? You know, do they leave the, the spouse¹⁰ is mean(really) is there you know, is there really love after? But listen, we gotta go.

Ok, see you next time. There is so much to say.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

I know,all right. We will back with more of today right after this.

1 intrigue   

vt.激起兴趣，迷住；vi.耍阴谋；n.阴谋，密谋

参考例句：

• Court officials will intrigue against the royal family.法院官员将密谋反对皇室。
• The royal palace was filled with intrigue.皇宫中充满了勾心斗角。

2 stigma   

n.耻辱，污名；(花的)柱头

参考例句：

• Being an unmarried mother used to carry a social stigma.做未婚母亲在社会上曾是不光彩的事。
• The stigma of losing weighed heavily on the team.失败的耻辱让整个队伍压力沉重。

3 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

4 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

5 rejection   

n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃

参考例句：

• He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
• The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。

6 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

7 aisle   

n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道

参考例句：

• The aisle was crammed with people.过道上挤满了人。
• The girl ushered me along the aisle to my seat.引座小姐带领我沿着通道到我的座位上去。

8 strings   

n.弦

参考例句：

• He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上，随意地拨着吉他的弦。
• She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。

9 lustful   

a.贪婪的；渴望的

参考例句：

• Adelmo agreed and duly submitted to Berengar's lustful advances. 阿德尔摩同意了并适时地顺从了贝仁格情欲的增长。
• The lustful scenes of the movie were abhorrent to the old lady. 电影里淫荡的画面让这老妇人厌恶。

10 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？