当亲戚向你借钱时

Maybe she will, with the do's and don'ts of lending money to family, we are joined by Mility Hopson, GMA financial contributor and president of Aerial Capital Management. Welcome.

Welcome, thank you.

So it, it, can we narrow it down.Is there a yes-no answer to the question: Should you lend family money?

I wouldn't call it a yes-no answer; I would start with a very basic idea. Before you think about this familial obligation issue, let's start with can you afford it? And if you can't afford it that answers the question right away. Also can you afford it if they don't pay you back? A bank thinks about the same thing. They assess the risk of the loan that they are going to make. And they don't make loans that are going to make them insolvent¹. You shouldn't either, but if you go down this path, the one thing that I suggest you that helps mute some of the resentment² or problems that can occur. Document it. Documentation helps a lot.

So those are the guidelines basically, you're saying: write it down on paper, sign it, date it, interest rates, someone said, the interest rates are low, so this is a good deal. We do look at family as a good deal, even for paying an interest that's usually lower than the market rate, right /?

Well, I would start with, you know, you want your names, you want the date, you want the amount, you want the purpose and yes you have a right to know. A bank would ask you what the loan is for. You may not wanna lend a family member money for a vacation versus³ a medical bill.

And you should tell them that. Hey, I don't want to pay for your trip to Disney World.(Perfect dictation )

Absolutely did in / terms, the terms may or may not include interest. They may include a payment plan; they may include it all back at a, over a lump-sum period. And then last, last but not least, sign it, copy it, make sure you both have a copy and when you get into issues, you pull out that piece of paper.

And you should have the hurt, supposed to be able to say to the person: I don't think I wanna loan your money for this purpose.

Absolutely, it's worse if you feel tremendous guilt⁴ and do something that you don't wanna do. You do it and it doesn't go well. That's a really bad situation. So on the front-end, maybe you can go to someone else, maybe I can cosign for a loan for you at the bank, really to create that kind of distance...that might be meeting them halfway⁵.

This, this is so loaded, because it is not just the stranger, right? This is all the family history, all the arguments, all the little things you did your bother or sister, you did your parents, whatever you is loaded from the back-end with emotions.

There is no question about it, and there are certain people that think the family bank should always be open, that is not the case, there are also in most families there is a go-to person, that person gets called again and again and again, often, because there is a sense that they are good with money, they're button-down, they have the money and can loan it. And so those things just create just tremendous stress around these issues in families.

But it is hard to say no, you love this person, right? you wanna help them out. But this maybe not be the best thing for the person.

Well, it's hard to say no, but sometimes you have to say no. I had the situation just this week. I had a family member repeatedly needs money and at some point I had to say. And this, the moment of truth was this week. (Yah!) We are done, this is the last check that I would write, because I'm enabling you, to live a life style that you can not afford.

And how does he or she react?

Not well, I can tell you that.

And so that will affect your relationship. You gotta deal with this person at holidays and family reunion? you know?

But you know what, it's better than dealing⁶ with them when they are facing bankruptcy⁷, facing serious, serious financial problems, because I didn't force them to look themselves in the mirror and try to take accountability for the life style that they were trying to maintain, that they quite frankly⁸ could not afford. It was just a fact, there were no two ways about it.

Let, now we've been talking about you as the bank in the family, what about if you need to borrow money, what, what do you do? How do you approach your family member?

Well, if you need to borrow money, I will go to them in the most professional way possible and I would be the one saying this is what I need the money for, I'd like to document this and write this down, this is when you can be expected to receive the payment. If I don't pay you back, I would be here before the money is due to renegotiate these terms, so they get a sense that you are very serious, very credible⁹ and you wanna make sure that this goes really, really well.

It's also good for your own self-esteem. You know, hey, we get terms here, we get interest payments, I am gonna pay you back.

There is no question about it. One interesting other idea, let's just say for some reason a family member doesn't pay you back, try having them work off the money. That's been something that I've tried lately and that goes extraordinarily¹⁰ well, they may do the baby-sitting that you need done or mowing¹¹ the lawn or things like that.

I don't know any of my relatives would like to clean windows. Mellody Hobson, Thanks a lot for the good advice. Tit touch waters to navigate¹² here.

1 insolvent   

adj.破产的，无偿还能力的

参考例句：

• They lost orders and were insolvent within weeks.他们失去了订货，几周后就无法偿还债务。
• The bank was declared insolvent.银行被宣布破产。

2 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

3 versus   

prep.以…为对手，对；与…相比之下

参考例句：

• The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
• The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。

4 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

5 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

6 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

7 bankruptcy   

n.破产；无偿付能力

参考例句：

• You will have to pull in if you want to escape bankruptcy.如果你想避免破产，就必须节省开支。
• His firm is just on thin ice of bankruptcy.他的商号正面临破产的危险。

8 frankly   

adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说

参考例句：

• To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。
• Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

9 credible   

adj.可信任的，可靠的

参考例句：

• The news report is hardly credible.这则新闻报道令人难以置信。
• Is there a credible alternative to the nuclear deterrent?是否有可以取代核威慑力量的可靠办法？

10 extraordinarily   

adv.格外地；极端地

参考例句：

• She is an extraordinarily beautiful girl.她是个美丽非凡的姑娘。
• The sea was extraordinarily calm that morning.那天清晨，大海出奇地宁静。

11 mowing   

n.割草，一次收割量，牧草地v.刈，割( mow的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The lawn needs mowing. 这草坪的草该割了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• "Do you use it for mowing?" “你是用它割草么？” 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

12 navigate   

v.航行，飞行；导航，领航

参考例句：

• He was the first man to navigate the Atlantic by air.他是第一个飞越大西洋的人。
• Such boats can navigate on the Nile.这种船可以在尼罗河上航行。