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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Sajiao. Every Chinese man in a relationship recognizes it. But while the Western man may adapt to every other aspect of Chinese culture, he may be bewildered by this behavioral difference between his current Chinese girlfriend and any past Western girlfriend.
In China, this is "Sajiao." Don't grab your translators, you won't find it. It's sweet, maybe loving, innocent, or even bratty1 or demanding. A man may not know how to define it, but he knows it when he sees it.
Female behavior in Asia and in China can be considered cute and feminine or downright baffling to foreigners. But there is more than meets the eye when it comes to "sajiao," or that cute and girly, behavior so common in Chinese women. CRI decided2 to get to the bottom of it and ask Chinese and foreigners what they think about it.[Photo:http://asianposes.com/category/pose/]
Andrea Hunt has more:
Women have wooed, awed3 and even irritated men since the dawn of time with their ways to convince men to do what they want. In China, "sajiao" roughly defines a behavior that is meant to be coquettish and feminine, pouty5, and yes, cute.
For twenty-five-year-old Sara Li from Guangdong Province, it's a softer way to communicate with her boyfriend of four years.
"I sajiao him when I want him to do something for me or go to somewhere with me. I talk to him in a more gentle way than usual, to sound a bit like I'm begging him, to act like a typical tender girl so I can get his compassion6."
Women may coo in a baby voice, bat their eyelashes, or pout4 using big puppy eyes. Twenty-four-year old Li Nian from Hubei Province has been with his girlfriend for about three years and says most men in China respond positively7 when asked for things in this way.
"For example, when she asks me to do something for her but I don't really want to, so she sajiao's me. Like when she desperately8 wants to eat some dessert and I'm in the middle of something so I don't feel like satisfying her, things like that."
But sajiao doesn't always appear tender and cute. That playful childish behavior can sour into a full fledged, childlike tantrum. This is where Western guys tend to get turned off.
Twenty-six-year-old Daniel Galvan from Mexico has been in China almost a year but only recently got a feel for sajiao while in Beijing's famous bar area.
"We went to Sanlitun and that's when things started getting pretty weird9. And you can tell that the girl that my friend's girlfriend was bringing had some sort of crush on my friend and my friend couldn't wait to leave with his girlfriend. And they were dancing together and this girl kept pushing my friend away from his girlfriend which was very weird and awkward. A couple of drinks later, these guys leave, I said OK let's go now, and she started doing this tantrum, 'Where are they, why did they leave me?' She tried to call her but her friend didn't pick up. And she starts throwing this tantrum, the whole shebang. Kicking, screaming, and doing this baby voice."
Twenty-two- year-old Abdel Ali from Denmark has been studying in China the last nine months. He's found that he can't date a woman with this kind of behavior and adds that sajiao can really complicate10 a cross cultural relationship.
"If you talk about concerning all the childish things, I think there will be a lot of difficulties, I don't think a Western man is used his girl acting11 childish all the time, to having a girl saying, you have to do this, and constantly trying to get his attention, and she doesn't want you to talk to other people and stuff like that. So yeah, they will face a lot of problems. But again I know foreign people who enjoy this stuff. So some people might enjoy it or have difficulties with it."
However, Li Nian says it actually adds to the roles that men and women have in a relationship. He points out that in China, men have a sense of achievement in being able to take a dominant12 role and take care of the woman in their lives.
But it really depends on what kind of sajiao it is. I do truly like the kind of sajiao that goes in an instinctive13 manner, one that's more natural and simple-hearted. But if the sajiao is intentionally14 for some certain purposes, then I guess I would feel uncomfortable.
But Daniel Galvan points out that this kind of behavior is not only a Chinese phenomenon.
A girl always tries to be as girly as she can on some occasions to just draw some attention to her. For example, a girl in the West, giving directions or just taking the tube. And you say, we'll meet next to the tube station, we'll meet at exit A. And you know you are going to get about 200 calls in the course of 10 minutes when she already arrived to the station. She doesn't know if she took the right tube or what. And that comes after the 10 calls explaining where to go, where to get off where to buy the ticket."
Galvan notes, however, that as women become more financially independent in China, the severity of the sajiao may decrease. He says it's hard to imagine a rich, powerful female CEO of a company pouting15 in a childish manner.
But Sarah Li disagrees.
"I think the advancement16 of women in finance cannot not change their psychological behavior. Girls are born to like sajiao. It doesn't matter if a girl is a CEO or a housewife. It is not true that the housewife knows how to sajiao but the CEO doesn't. Their occupation or career can not change their female genetics and character."
Perhaps it really depends not on the future roles of women in society, but of her role in the relationship. After all, women anywhere can usually only get away with what a man expects and also what he will put up with. Western or Chinese, loving cuteness, or bratty stubbornness, is only in the eyes of the beholder17.
For CRI, I'm Andrea Hunt.
收听单词发音 |
1
bratty
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| adj.讨厌的，不服从的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pout
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| v.撅嘴；绷脸；n.撅嘴；生气，不高兴 | |
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pouty
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| adj.撅嘴的，容易生气的 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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complicate
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| vt.使复杂化，使混乱，使难懂 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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dominant
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| adj.支配的，统治的；占优势的；显性的；n.主因，要素，主要的人(或物)；显性基因 | |
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instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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intentionally
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| ad.故意地，有意地 | |
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pouting
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| v.撅（嘴）( pout的现在分词 ) | |
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advancement
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| n.前进，促进，提升 | |
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beholder
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| n.观看者，旁观者 | |
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