《柯南脱口秀》第35期:没有合适的车

 Now,you are quite young,you said you had been working in this business for,since you were a kid. 你很年轻 你说你是从孩子开始 你就在这行工作了

Did you ever have any nonacting job for you had success? 你有没有过成功的非演戏工作

I did.I have had many nonacting jobs.and one of my favorites was delivering bananas for a fair trade company in New Zealand. 有过 我有过很多非演戏工作 我最喜欢的是为新西兰的一家贸易公司送香蕉

And I told them that I wanted this job.I had everything it took. 我跟他们说我想要这份工作 我有需要的一切条件

And they told me I needed a vehicle.and I said got that,sort of.I didn't.I had a scooter. 他们说我需要一辆车 我说我有 搞定了 我没有 我只有摩托车

And so I rode around Wellington,which is notoriously¹ one of the windiest cities in the country. 我在惠灵顿市里骑着车 这是新西兰上最多风的城市之一

On a scooter with crates² of bananas on the back.And I got blown off twice,unfortunately. 骑着摩托车 后座有很多箱香蕉 不幸的是我被吹下来两次

And so I had to go back to the boss and say look,I'm sorry,I kind of lied and I don't really have an appropriate vehicle. 我得去找老板说 抱歉 我撒了谎 我没有合适的车

So they said no problem.we also run an environmentally friendly undertaking³ business.And we have retired⁴ hearses available. 他们说 没问题 我们也运营环保的殡仪业务 我们有退役的灵车

So I ended up delivering bananas all around Wellington in a retired hearse. 所以我最后 开着退役的灵车满惠灵顿跑送香蕉

That is,who wants to have a banana you just pulled out of a hearse? 谁想要你 刚从灵车里拿出来的香蕉啊

Turns out it wasn't part of my opening big when I spoke⁵ to the supermarket people. 我跟超市的人说话时 并没有开张大吉

You know what I love when you're on the scooter and they're flying off,you picked the most easily bruised⁶ fruit that there is. 我喜欢的是 你骑着摩托车 香蕉飞了 你选择了最容易碰伤的水果

You can't sell a bruised banana.and it takes a year for a banana to grow. 你卖不掉碰伤的香蕉 香蕉要一年才能成熟

Did you know that?No,I never knew that. 你知道吗 我不知道

A year? see,that's the only piece of information that's valuable that's come out of this show in over five years. 一年吗 这是五年来这个节目里唯一有用的信息

Thank you,thank you.thank you. 谢谢你 谢谢你 谢谢你

 

1 notoriously   

adv.声名狼藉地

参考例句：

• The weather here is notoriously fickle. 这里的天气出了名的变化无常。
• The trains are notoriously unreliable. 火车不准点是出了名的。

2 crates   

n. 板条箱, 篓子, 旧汽车 vt. 装进纸条箱

参考例句：

• We were using crates as seats. 我们用大木箱作为座位。
• Thousands of crates compacted in a warehouse. 数以千计的板条箱堆放在仓库里。

3 undertaking   

n.保证，许诺，事业

参考例句：

• He gave her an undertaking that he would pay the money back with in a year.他向她做了一年内还钱的保证。
• He is too timid to venture upon an undertaking.他太胆小，不敢从事任何事业。

4 retired   

adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的

参考例句：

• The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
• Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

5 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

6 bruised   

[医]青肿的，瘀紫的

参考例句：

• his bruised and bloodied nose 他沾满血的青肿的鼻子
• She had slipped and badly bruised her face. 她滑了一跤，摔得鼻青脸肿。