欧美人文风情第101篇:《直至今日》- 反霸凌诗篇

 When I was a kid, I used to think that pork chops and karate¹ chops were the same thing. 当我还是个孩子的时候，曾以为猪排和空手道的手刀是一样的东西。

I thought that they were both pork chops. 我以为它们都是猪排。

And because my grandmother thought that was cute, and because they were my favorite, 而因为我祖母觉得那样很可爱，而且因为它们是我的最爱，

she let me keep doing that. Not really a big deal. 她让我继续那样认为。没什么大不了的。

One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees, 有天，在我了解到胖小孩不是设计来爬树的之前，

I fell out of a tree and bruised² the right side of my body. 我从一棵树上摔下，而且把我身体的右侧给摔伤了。

I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it, 我不想告诉我的祖母，

because I was scared I'd get in trouble for playing somewhere I shouldn't have been. 因为我害怕会因为到不该去的地方玩耍而陷入麻烦。

Few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise³, and I got sent to the principal's office. 几天后体育老师注意到了那瘀青，而我被送到校长办公室。

From there I was sent to another small room with a really nice lady who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at home. 从那儿我被送往另一个小房间，有位和蔼可亲的女士问我各式各样关于我家庭生活的问题。

I saw no reason to lie. As far as I was concerned, life was pretty good. 我没理由需要骗人。对我来说，生活很美好。

I told her, "Whenever I'm sad, my grandmother gives me karate chops." 我告诉她：“每当我难过的时候，我祖母会赏我空手道手刀。”

This led to a full scale investigation⁴. 这导致了一次全面性的调查。

And I was removed from the house for three days, until they finally decided⁵ to ask how I got the bruises⁶. 而我被赶出家门三天，直到他们最后决定问我怎么会搞得瘀青时为止。

News of the silly little story quickly spread through the school, 这愚蠢小故事的新闻很快地传遍了校园，

and I earned my first nickname: Porkchop. 而我赚到了我第一个绰号：猪排。

To this day...I hate porkchops. 直到今天...我恨猪排。

I'm not the only kid who grew up this way. 我不是唯一这样长大的孩子。

Surrounded by people who used to say that rhyme...about sticks and stones. 被那些过去时常将...关于“棍棒和石头”的顺口溜挂在嘴上的人们给围绕着。

As if a broken bones hurt more than the names we got called, and we got called them all. 好像骨折比我们被取的绰号更伤人，而我们所有的绰号都被喊过。

So we grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with us. 所以我们长大时相信永远没有人会爱上我们。

That we'd be lonely forever. 我们会永远孤单。

That we'd never meet someone to make us feel like the sun was something they built for us in their tool shed. 我们永远也不会遇见某个人，让我们感觉像太阳是他们在工具间里为我们所打造出来的。

So broken heart strings⁷ bled the blues⁸ as we tried to empty ourselves so we would feel nothing. 所以在我们试着放空自己以让自己感受不到任何东西(免受伤害)时，断了的心弦流出了忧虑的鲜血。

Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone; 别告诉我那比起骨折较无伤害；

that an ingrown life is something surgeons can cut away; 一个在体内生长的生命(体内异物)是外科医生能够切除的东西；

that there's no way for it to metastasize. It does. 不可能会转移。它会的(霸凌伤害是会转移的)。

She was eight years old. 她当时八岁。

Our first day of grade three when she got called "ugly," 我们三年级的第一天当她被喊作“丑八怪”时，

we both got moved to the back of the class so we would stop getting bombarded by spitball. 我们俩都搬到教室的后面，这样才会停止遭受纸球轰炸。

But the school halls were a battleground. 但学校走廊是个战场。

We found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day. 愁云惨雾日复一日，我们发现自己寡不敌众。

We used to stay inside for recess⁹, because outside was worse. 我们过去时常躲在室内喘息，因为外面更糟糕。

Outside we'd have to rehearse running away or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there. 在外面我们得练习逃开或是学着像雕像般静止不动，不让人发现我们在那儿。

In grade five, they taped a sign to the front of her desk that read, "BEWARE OF DOG." 五年级的时候，他们在她书桌的前方贴上一个标签，上面写着：“小心恶犬”。

To this day, despite a loving husband, she doesn't think she's beautiful, 直到今天，尽管有个深爱着她的老公，她不认为自己漂亮，

because of a birthmark that takes up a little less than half of her face. 因为一个占了她小半张脸的胎记。

Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer that someone tried to erase¹⁰ but couldn't quite get the job done. 孩子们过去常说她看起来像是一个某人欲擦拭而不能去之的错误答案。

And they'll never understand that she's raising two kids whose definition of beauty begins with the word "Mom." 然而他们永远也不会了解她养育了两个孩子，他们对美的界定源自于“母亲”这个字。

Because they see her heart before they see her skin. 因为在看到她的皮肤之前，他们先看到她的心。

Because she's only ever always been amazing. He... 因为她永远是令人惊羡的。他...

...was a broken branch grafted¹¹ onto a different family tree, adopted. ...是根断了的树枝，被嫁接到一棵不同家庭树上，被领养了的。

Not because his parents opted¹² for a different destiny. 并非因为他父母亲选择了一条截然不同的命运。

He was three when he became a mixed drink of one part left alone and two parts tragedy. 当他成了杯一分孤寂掺杂着两分悲剧的调酒时，他才三岁。

Started therapy in 8th grade. Had a personality made up of tests and pills. 八年级(国二)时开始治疗。有着由测试和药物所造成的个性。

Lived like the uphills were mountains and the downhills were cliffs. 过着仿佛向上是高山峻岭，往下是悬崖峭壁的生活。

Four fifths suicidal, a tidal wave of anti-depressants, and an adolescence¹³ of being called "Popper," 五分之四是自我毁灭的，波涛海啸的抗忧虑药物，一段被叫做“药罐子”的青少年时期，

one part because of the pills, ninety nine parts because of the cruelty. 一分是因为那些药物，九十九分因为那恶毒残酷(的言语)。

He tried to kill himself in grade ten when a kid who could still go home to mom and dad, 他在十年级(国三)时尝试自杀，那时有一个仍然能够回家到父母身边的孩子，

had the audacity¹⁴ to tell him, "get over it." 厚颜无耻的跟他说：“撑过去吧。”

As if depression is something that can be remedied by any of the contents found in a first aid kit¹⁵. 好像忧虑是某种可以用任何急救箱中找到的东西给治疗好的事情。

To this day, he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends, 直到今天，他是根两头点燃的TNT炸弹，

could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends in the moments before it's about to fall, 可以对你详述暴雨欲降之际，天幕低垂的状况，

and despite an army of friends who all call him an inspiration, 而尽管一堆朋友都称他为鼓舞人心的灵感，

he remains¹⁶ a conversation piece between people who can't understand sometimes being drug free has less to do with addiction¹⁷ 他仍是人们间的话题，他们不了解有时候不碰毒品和上瘾较无关系，

and more to do with sanity¹⁸. 而是尤有关于精神健全。

We weren't the only kids who grew up this way. 我们不是唯一这样长大的孩子们。

To this day, kids are still being called names. The classics were "Hey, stupid!" "Hey, spaz!" 直到今天，孩子们仍被滥喊绰号。经典的几个是“嘿，笨蛋!”“嘿，蠢蛋!”

Seems like every school has an arsenal¹⁹ of names getting updated every year. 好像每所学校都有一脱拉库的绰号每年在更新。

And if a kid breaks in a school, and no one around chooses to hear, do they make a sound? 如果一个孩子在学校里崩溃了，而附近没有人愿意聆听，他们有被听见吗？

Are they just the background noise of a soundtrack stuck on repeat when people say things like "kids can be cruel?" 当人们说像是“孩子们也可以是残酷无情的”之类的事情的时候，他们只是卡在重复播放上的音轨的背景杂音吗？

Every school was a big top circus tent, and the pecking order went from acrobats²⁰ to lion tamers, from clowns to carnies. 每间学校都是个大马戏团帐篷，而阶级顺序是从特技演员到驯狮员，从丑角到巡迴艺人。

All of these were miles ahead of who we were...we were freaks! 这些和我们的身分差了十万八千里...我们是怪咖!

Lobster²¹ claw boys and bearded ladies, oddities, juggling²² depression and loneliness, 龙虾手(裂手裂足症)男孩和长满胡须的女孩、怪人们，耍忧虑、耍孤单，

playing Solitaire, spin the bottle, trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal. 玩着接龙(一种单人纸牌游戏)、转瓶子游戏，试着抚平我们自己的伤口并痊癒。

But at night, while the others slept, we kept walking the tightrope²³. 但在夜里，当其他人睡去，我们继续走钢索。

It was practice, and yeah, some of us fell. 那是练习，对的，我们有些人跌了下去。

But I want to tell them that all of this is just debris²⁴, 但我要告诉他们所有这些只是破瓦残砾，

leftover²⁵ when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought we used to be. 当我们最终决定要粉碎所有过去对自我的认知的时候。

And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. 而如果你无法看见任何关于自己美丽的事物，找面好一点的镜子。

Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. 靠近一点看。注视久一些。

Because there's something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit. 因为在你体内有某种东西使你继续尝试，不顾每个叫你退出的人。

You built a cast around your broken heart and signed it yourself. 你围绕着破碎的心打上了石膏并亲自签名。

You signed it, "they were wrong." Because maybe you didn't belong to a group or clique²⁶. 你签上：“他们错了。”因为也许你并不属于一个团体或派系。

Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything. 也许他们决定打篮球或任何事情都最后选你。

Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show and tell but never told, 也许你过去常常带着瘀青和断牙到展示讨论课上却从未开口，

because how can you hold your ground if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it? 因为如果身边的每个人都想将你掩埋，你要如何坚持住？

You have to believe that they were wrong. 你得相信他们错了。

They have to be wrong. Why else would we still be here? 他们一定得是错的。不然的话为何我们还在这里？

We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog because we see ourselves in them. 我们成长时学着大声鼓励失败者，因为我们从他们身上看见自己。

We stem from a root planted in the belief that we are not what we were called. 我们源自一个根深蒂固的信念，那就是我们并非我们所被喊的(绰号)。

We are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on some highway. 我们不是被遗弃的车辆渐渐抛锚、被空置在某条高速公路边。

And if in some way we are, don't worry. We only got out to walk and get gas. 而如果不知怎地我们偏偏就是的话，别担心。我们只是出去走走买汽油吧。

We are graduating members from the class of "we made it," 我们是“我们做到了”班级的毕业成员，

not the faded echoes of voices crying out "names will never hurt me." 不是那渐渐消逝的回音，嘶喊着“绰号永远伤不了我”。

Of course, they did. 当然，它们伤害了我。

But our lives will only ever always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain... 但我们的生命将永远只会继续成为一项艰巨的任务，较无关于痛苦...

and more to do with beauty. 而更关乎于美。

 

1 karate   

n.空手道(日本的一种徒手武术)

参考例句：

• Alice's boyfriend knew a little karate.艾丽斯的男朋友懂一点儿空手道。
• The black belt is the highest level in karate.黑腰带级是空手道的最高级别。

2 bruised   

[医]青肿的，瘀紫的

参考例句：

• his bruised and bloodied nose 他沾满血的青肿的鼻子
• She had slipped and badly bruised her face. 她滑了一跤，摔得鼻青脸肿。

3 bruise   

n.青肿，挫伤；伤痕；vt.打青；挫伤

参考例句：

• The bruise was caused by a kick.这伤痕是脚踢的。
• Jack fell down yesterday and got a big bruise on his face.杰克昨天摔了一跤，脸上摔出老大一块淤斑。

4 investigation   

n.调查，调查研究

参考例句：

• In an investigation,a new fact became known, which told against him.在调查中新发现了一件对他不利的事实。
• He drew the conclusion by building on his own investigation.他根据自己的调查研究作出结论。

5 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

6 bruises   

n.瘀伤，伤痕，擦伤( bruise的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He was covered with bruises after falling off his bicycle. 他从自行车上摔了下来，摔得浑身伤痕。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The pear had bruises of dark spots. 这个梨子有碰伤的黑斑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 strings   

n.弦

参考例句：

• He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上，随意地拨着吉他的弦。
• She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。

8 blues   

n.抑郁，沮丧；布鲁斯音乐

参考例句：

• She was in the back of a smoky bar singing the blues.她在烟雾弥漫的酒吧深处唱着布鲁斯歌曲。
• He was in the blues on account of his failure in business.他因事业失败而意志消沉。

9 recess   

n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处）

参考例句：

• The chairman of the meeting announced a ten-minute recess.会议主席宣布休会10分钟。
• Parliament was hastily recalled from recess.休会的议员被匆匆召回开会。

10 erase   

v.擦掉；消除某事物的痕迹

参考例句：

• He tried to erase the idea from his mind.他试图从头脑中抹掉这个想法。
• Please erase my name from the list.请把我的名字从名单上擦去。

11 grafted   

移植( graft的过去式和过去分词 )； 嫁接； 使（思想、制度等）成为（…的一部份）； 植根

参考例句：

• No art can be grafted with success on another art. 没有哪种艺术能成功地嫁接到另一种艺术上。
• Apples are easily grafted. 苹果树很容易嫁接。

12 opted   

v.选择，挑选( opt的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She was co-opted onto the board. 她获增选为董事会成员。
• After graduating she opted for a career in music. 毕业后她选择了从事音乐工作。

13 adolescence   

n.青春期，青少年

参考例句：

• Adolescence is the process of going from childhood to maturity.青春期是从少年到成年的过渡期。
• The film is about the trials and tribulations of adolescence.这部电影讲述了青春期的麻烦和苦恼。

14 audacity   

n.大胆，卤莽，无礼

参考例句：

• He had the audacity to ask for an increase in salary.他竟然厚着脸皮要求增加薪水。
• He had the audacity to pick pockets in broad daylight.他竟敢在光天化日之下掏包。

15 kit   

n.用具包，成套工具；随身携带物

参考例句：

• The kit consisted of about twenty cosmetic items.整套工具包括大约20种化妆用品。
• The captain wants to inspect your kit.船长想检查你的行装。

16 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

17 addiction   

n.上瘾入迷，嗜好

参考例句：

• He stole money from his parents to feed his addiction.他从父母那儿偷钱以满足自己的嗜好。
• Areas of drug dealing are hellholes of addiction,poverty and murder.贩卖毒品的地区往往是吸毒上瘾、贫困和发生谋杀的地方。

18 sanity   

n.心智健全，神智正常，判断正确

参考例句：

• I doubt the sanity of such a plan.我怀疑这个计划是否明智。
• She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。

19 arsenal   

n.兵工厂，军械库

参考例句：

• Even the workers at the arsenal have got a secret organization.兵工厂工人暗中也有组织。
• We must be the great arsenal of democracy.我们必须成为民主的大军火库。

20 acrobats   

n.杂技演员( acrobat的名词复数 )；立场观点善变的人，主张、政见等变化无常的人

参考例句：

• I was always fascinated by the acrobats at the circus. 我总是着迷于马戏团里的杂技演员。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The acrobats' performance drew forth applause from the audience. 杂技演员的表演博得了观众的掌声。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 lobster   

n.龙虾，龙虾肉

参考例句：

• The lobster is a shellfish.龙虾是水生贝壳动物。
• I like lobster but it does not like me.我喜欢吃龙虾，但它不适宜于我的健康。

22 juggling   

n. 欺骗, 杂耍(=jugglery) adj. 欺骗的, 欺诈的 动词juggle的现在分词

参考例句：

• He was charged with some dishonest juggling with the accounts. 他被指控用欺骗手段窜改账目。
• The accountant went to prison for juggling his firm's accounts. 会计因涂改公司的帐目而入狱。

23 tightrope   

n.绷紧的绳索或钢丝

参考例句：

• The audience held their breath as the acrobat walked along the tightrope.杂技演员走钢丝时，观众都屏住了呼吸。
• The tightrope walker kept her balance by holding up an umbrella.走钢丝的演员举着一把伞，保持身体的均衡。

24 debris   

n.瓦砾堆，废墟，碎片

参考例句：

• After the bombing there was a lot of debris everywhere.轰炸之后到处瓦砾成堆。
• Bacteria sticks to food debris in the teeth,causing decay.细菌附着在牙缝中的食物残渣上，导致蛀牙。

25 leftover   

n.剩货，残留物，剩饭；adj.残余的

参考例句：

• These narrow roads are a leftover from the days of horse-drawn carriages.这些小道是从马车时代沿用下来的。
• Wonder if that bakery lets us take leftover home.不知道那家糕饼店会不会让我们把卖剩的带回家。

26 clique   

n.朋党派系，小集团

参考例句：

• The reactionary ruling clique was torn by internal strife.反动统治集团内部勾心斗角，四分五裂。
• If the renegade clique of that country were in power,it would have meant serious disaster for the people.如果那个国家的叛徒集团一得势，人民就要遭殃。