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Super Bowl Sunday is almost here and there’s one question on everyone’s mind: How can I tackle a plate of chicken wings without adding yardage to my end zone?

Well, Charles Platkin is the director of the New York City Food Policy Center at Hunter College. And he thinks that to make smarter, more splurge-worthy snacking choices we should consider what it would take to burn off the calories we take in.

To that end, Platkin has come up exercise equivalents for some of our favorite couch-side canapes and other nibbles¹.

Let’s kick things off with a foot-long meatball sub. This marinara-soaked monster, which weighs in at around 900 calories, would take more than an hour-and-a-half of running up and down the stadium steps to work off. And three pieces of KFC at 740 calories would take some 680 touchdown dances. Almost certainly leading to a celebration penalty.

A single tortilla chip, a mere² 20 calories, with a scoop³ of seven-layer dip, another 70 calories, would require a solid 25 minutes of boogying down to Lady Gaga!

Even two handfuls of Chex Mix, which racks up a surprising 280 calories, calls for 30 minutes of jumping up and down after your team scores. And a 450-calorie slice of pizza? Do the wave 2,194 times. But you could get called for interference—by others trying to see the TV.

Now, if you’re still thinking about piling on those wings, each one weighs in at a hefty 95 calories. Add blue cheese dip and 10 wings can hit 1,400 calories. Which would take 149 trips up and down the field to run off.

But before conceding defeat, Platkin does offer some pointers to help you beat the Super Bowl spread. Stock up on popcorn⁴, and skip the butter. Drizzle⁵ hot sauce on the wings instead of dollops of dip. And do not huddle⁶ with your snacks—keep them far enough away so that getting at them makes you put your backfield in motion.

—Karen Hopkin

[The above text is a transcript⁷ of this podcast.]