英语沙龙：什么是美国人避而不谈的

What the Americans Don' t Talk About !

One of the recurring¹ questions that my students in China often ask is:"What are the things they shouldn't talk about with Americans?"Taboo² topics tend to make people feel uneasy.Every culture has these off－limits subjects.In ours,the following immediately come to mind:

1.Age Yes,age is a very sensitive subject t o many Americans,especially to women over age 30.In this youth obsessed³ culture,the thought of growing older is a painful one and most of us,if possible,would like to have nothing to do with it.Unfortunately aging is one of the inevitabilities of life and it happens to the best of us.As a result,many Americans work hard to maintain a youthful appearance or at least give the illusion of youth.So the last thing they want is for some one to rub their faces in harsh reality and ask the unthinkable,"How old are you exactly？"

This question may result in replies like:"How old do you think I am?""30ish,30something.I'm in my thirties.Let' s just leave it at that."“I can' t remember.""Oh.don't ask me that.""I stopped keeping track after I turned 30.""A lot older than what I would like to be."

Anyhow,if you are dying to know someone's age,this is how you could go about finding out.First you estimate their age by their appearance and mannerism⁴.Then you subtract ten years from that estimation.I guarantee you will get a big smile from that person who will also blush and say,"Wow.You are my best friend.I'm 38already.Can you believe it?"You,of course,reply,"No.I really can' t.You' re kidding.You don' t look a day over28.This is amazing."Now that' s one surefire way to boost someone' s ego⁵.

2.Weight This is one of the touchiest⁶ subjects．In America，it is okay，even desirable，to be thin but it is a sin and a huge embarrassment⁷ to be overweight．In fact，the thinner you are，the prettier you are considered．Flip⁸ through any American fashion magazines，you'll notice that most models are nothing more than skin and bones．A woman who sports this emaciated，skeletal physique is called a waif，which is a thin person who appears fragile and needy⁹．Believe it not，the waif look was the hottest look of the １９９０' s．Of course，there are obvious health related advantages to having a slender figure but please don't over diet for the sake of vanity．You could potentially become a victim to horrible eating disorders¹⁰ like anorexia¹¹ and bulimia．

Americans are very weight－conscious and rarely disclose how much they weigh．．．even if they are thin and in great shape．Therefore，you best not to ask．But if you absolutely have to comment on this subject，it' s always safer to say，“Oh，you look like you have lost weight ”than“ Oh，you look like you put on a few pounds．”However，if you would like to be honest but not hurtful，I recommend you choose your words carefully，perhaps by saying：“Hey，you look great．Very healthy looking．”And always remember，it' s not fat．It' s muscular．

3.Income You should never ever ask how much someone' s salary is．There's no way around this one．However，it' s perfectly¹² appropriate to ask about their job title and what they do for a living．This information should give you some idea how much they make a year．

4.Matters of the Heart This is a tricky¹³ one．Sometimes you'll run into people who can't wait to pour their hearts out to you．Then there are those who make sure their personal business stays behind closed doors．The general rule is to not get too personal，too fast．You don't want others to think that you're prying¹⁴ into their lives．Therefore，try not to ask too many questions about someone' s love life，marriage and family until you have a friendship with this person．Even then，you better wait for your friend to come to you with the matters of their heart．

5.Is It Real？ Many Americans are proponents¹⁵ of the all－natural look．Stick with what Mother Nature gave you and do the best you can with it．But how man y truly abide¹⁶ by this principle？With plastic surgery and products like colored contact lens，hair coloring，acrylic nails，etc，the answer would be：not many．I suppose some of us either like to experiment with our looks or are simply unhappy with what we're born with．

As artificial as the results of these physical alterations¹⁷ may be，they are done to imitate nature．At the end of the day，people want others to believe they' re simply born beautiful．So don' t ruin it for them by asking，“Hey，I love your eye color．Is it real？”

What makes certain topics taboo？These topics may lead to disclosure of information that people don't want others to know about．In other words，sometimes it' s not so much that you asked the wrong question，but that you touched a sore spot．Regardless，it' s difficult to always avoid conversation landmines¹⁸ so be sensible，watch your step and try not to open a can of worms．

什么是美国人避而不谈的

我的中国学生反复提的问题之一就是，“他们不该与美国人谈论的事儿有哪些？”忌讳的话题往往会使人尴尬。每种文化都有这些禁忌的话题，在美国文化中，立即可想起的有下列几个：

1.年龄 是的，对许多美国人来说，年龄是个非常敏感的问题，特别是对年过30的女人来说更是如此。在这个崇尚年轻的文化中，想到变老是很痛苦的，我们大多数人，如果有可能的话，都不想沾它的边。不幸的是，变老是人生不可避免的事情之一，谁都不能例外。结果，许多美国人竭力想维持外貌的年轻，或至少给人留下年轻的假象。所以，他们最不愿别人当面触及痛处，提那个令人不快的问题：“你到底多大年纪了？”

对这个问题可以有这样几个回答：“你认为我多大了？”“３０来岁，３０左右。我３０多岁了咱们不谈这个了吧。”“我记不得了。”“噢，别问我这个。”“我一过３０，就不记年龄了。”“比我希望的要老得多。”

不管怎么说，如果你极想知道某人的年龄，你也是可以打探得到的。首先，你从他们的外貌和言谈举止估算年龄；然后，从你的估计上减去１０岁。我敢担保此人会冲你绽放笑容，还会红着脸说，“哇，你是我最好的朋友。我早就３８岁了。你能相信吗？”你当然会回答，“不，难以置信。你在开玩笑。你看起来连２８都不到。真让人惊叹。”这招肯定会让人的虚荣心得以满足。

２．体重 这是最敏感的话题之一。在美国，长得瘦是不错的，甚至会让人羡慕，但超重就让人极为难堪，是种罪过。实际上，你越瘦，别人会认为你越漂亮。随便翻翻美国哪本时尚杂志，你会发现大多数模特都是皮包骨头。瘦骨嶙峋的女人被称为细挑个儿，看上去弱不禁风。不管你信不信，细挑个儿可是２０世纪９０年代最酷的。当然，苗条的身材显然还有健康的体格，请不要为了虚荣而过于节食。你可能会成为可怕的饮食失调的受害者，如厌食和食欲过盛。

美国人很关注体重，且极少披露他们的体重……即使他们很瘦，身材很好。所以，你别问为妙。但如果你非得要讲，那就说“噢，你看起来掉磅了”，比“噢，你看起来像是重了几磅”常常要稳妥。然而，如果你想说实话但又不伤人，我建议你用词小心，或许可以说：“嘿，你看起来棒极了。很健康。”千万要记住，那不是脂肪，是肌肉。

３．收入 你绝对不要问别人挣多少钱。这没什么可说的。但你完全可以问他们的工作头衔和以什么为生计。这个信息可以让你对他们一年挣多少有所了解。

４．心里的事 这是个很微妙的问题。有时你会碰到迫不及待向你倾诉心声的人。但有些人时刻确保自己的私事不为外人知晓。总的规则是，不要太急于跟人谈个人私事。不要让人认为你在刺探他们的生活。所以，不要对别人的爱情、婚姻和家庭情况提太多问题，直到你跟此人结成了朋友。即便那时，你最好还是等着你的朋友带着心事来找你谈。

５．是真的吗？ 许多美国人都主张天生的相貌。坚持从母体带来的一切并尽力善待之。但有多少人真正地遵守这一原则呢？答案是：不多，因为有整形手术和诸如有色隐形眼镜、染发剂、丙烯酸指甲等产品。我猜我们中有些人或者喜欢去尝试换个长相，或者就是对自己天生的长相不那么满意罢了。

尽管这些实物改变的效果足可以假乱真，但它们还是仿真的。到头来，人们还是希望别人相信他们就是天生漂亮。所以别问：“嗨，我喜欢你眼睛的颜色。是真的吗？”免得让人失望。

有些话题为什么犯忌呢？因为这些话题可能会把人们不愿为外人所知的情况泄露出去。换言之，有时你提错了问题倒没什么大不了，但你却戳到了他人的痛处。不管怎样，在谈话中往往难免触雷，所以头脑要清醒些，行事要注意些，尽量不要去触及那些忌讳的问题。

1 recurring   

adj.往复的，再次发生的

参考例句：

• This kind of problem is recurring often. 这类问题经常发生。
• For our own country, it has been a time for recurring trial. 就我们国家而言，它经过了一个反复考验的时期。

2 taboo   

n.禁忌，禁止接近，禁止使用；adj.禁忌的；v.禁忌，禁制，禁止

参考例句：

• The rude words are taboo in ordinary conversation.这些粗野的字眼在日常谈话中是禁忌的。
• Is there a taboo against sex before marriage in your society?在你们的社会里，婚前的性行为犯禁吗？

3 obsessed   

adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的

参考例句：

• He's obsessed by computers. 他迷上了电脑。
• The fear of death obsessed him throughout his old life. 他晚年一直受着死亡恐惧的困扰。

4 mannerism   

n.特殊习惯，怪癖

参考例句：

• He has this irritating mannerism of constantly scratching his nose.他老是挠鼻子，这个习惯真让人不舒服。
• Her British accent is just a mannerism picked up on her visit to London.她的英国口音是她访问伦敦学会的。

5 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

6 touchiest   

adj.易动气的( touchy的最高级 )；小心眼的；需要小心对待的；棘手的

参考例句：

• This is one of the touchiest subjects. 这是最敏感的话题之一。 来自互联网
• Weight This is one of the touchiest subjects. 体重这是最敏感的话题之一。 来自互联网

7 embarrassment   

n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫

参考例句：

• She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
• Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。

8 flip   

vt.快速翻动；轻抛；轻拍；n.轻抛；adj.轻浮的

参考例句：

• I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书，看来似乎很有趣。
• Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。

9 needy   

adj.贫穷的，贫困的，生活艰苦的

参考例句：

• Although he was poor,he was quite generous to his needy friends.他虽穷，但对贫苦的朋友很慷慨。
• They awarded scholarships to needy students.他们给贫苦学生颁发奖学金。

10 disorders   

n.混乱( disorder的名词复数 )；凌乱；骚乱；（身心、机能）失调

参考例句：

• Reports of anorexia and other eating disorders are on the increase. 据报告，厌食症和其他饮食方面的功能紊乱发生率正在不断增长。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The announcement led to violent civil disorders. 这项宣布引起剧烈的骚乱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 anorexia   

n.厌食症

参考例句：

• Anorexia can creep up on young girls when they least expect it.年轻女子可能在最没有防备的情況下患上厌食症。
• Anorexia is a common eating disorder.厌食是一种常见的饮食紊乱症。

12 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

13 tricky   

adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的

参考例句：

• I'm in a rather tricky position.Can you help me out?我的处境很棘手，你能帮我吗？
• He avoided this tricky question and talked in generalities.他回避了这个非常微妙的问题，只做了个笼统的表述。

14 prying   

adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开

参考例句：

• I'm sick of you prying into my personal life! 我讨厌你刺探我的私生活！
• She is always prying into other people's affairs. 她总是打听别人的私事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 proponents   

n.（某事业、理论等的）支持者，拥护者( proponent的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Reviewing courts were among the most active proponents of hybrid rulemaking procedures. 复审法院是最积极的混合型规则制定程序的建议者。 来自英汉非文学 - 行政法
• Proponents of such opinions were arrested as 'traitors. ' 提倡这种主张的人马上作为“卖国贼”逮捕起来。 来自辞典例句

16 abide   

vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受

参考例句：

• You must abide by the results of your mistakes.你必须承担你的错误所造成的后果。
• If you join the club,you have to abide by its rules.如果你参加俱乐部，你就得遵守它的规章。

17 alterations   

n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变

参考例句：

• Any alterations should be written in neatly to the left side. 改动部分应书写清晰，插在正文的左侧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Gene mutations are alterations in the DNA code. 基因突变是指DNA 密码的改变。 来自《简明英汉词典》

18 landmines   

潜在的冲突； 地雷，投伞水雷( landmine的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The treaty bans the use production and trade of landmines. 该条约规定，禁止使用地雷相关产品及贸易。
• One of the weapon's of special concern was landmines. 在引起人们特别关注的武器中就有地雷。