乐观者共享的十大习惯

 　　Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being¹, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

　　The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places! Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

　　1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

　　Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives. Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe² to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

　　I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life …To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones …And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

　　2. Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

　　Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

　　3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

　　Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

　　4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

　　The most positive people are the most grateful people. They do not focus on the potholes³ of their lives. They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences. They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

　　5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized⁴ by their possibilities.

　　Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do. They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities. They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time. They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

　　6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere⁵ with their lives!

　　Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding⁶ with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

　　7. Positive people smile a lot!

　　When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious⁷. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

　　8. People who are positive are great communicators.

　　They realize that assertive⁸, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life. They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact⁹ and finesse¹⁰. They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

　　9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

　　One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time. Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut¹¹ of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.

　　10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

　　Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic¹² in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement¹³ such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges¹⁴ with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

　　How about you? How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself? If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

　　I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

1 well-being   

n.安康，安乐，幸福

参考例句：

• He always has the well-being of the masses at heart.他总是把群众的疾苦挂在心上。
• My concern for their well-being was misunderstood as interference.我关心他们的幸福，却被误解为多管闲事。

2 subscribe   

vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助

参考例句：

• I heartily subscribe to that sentiment.我十分赞同那个观点。
• The magazine is trying to get more readers to subscribe.该杂志正大力发展新订户。

3 potholes   

n.壶穴( pothole的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Potholes are also home to tiny desert animals. 洞穴也是弱小动物的家。 来自互联网
• If you're going to enjoy the good times, you've certainly got to deal with some potholes. 如果要享受甜美的胜利果实，当然要应付这些战绩不佳的指责压力。 来自互联网

4 energized   

v.给予…精力，能量( energize的过去式和过去分词 )；使通电

参考例句：

• We are energized by love if we put our energy into loving. 如果我们付出能量去表现爱意，爱就会使我们充满活力。 来自辞典例句
• I am completely energized and feeling terrific. 我充满了活力，感觉非常好。 来自辞典例句

5 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

6 proceeding   

n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报

参考例句：

• This train is now proceeding from Paris to London.这次列车从巴黎开往伦敦。
• The work is proceeding briskly.工作很有生气地进展着。

7 contagious   

adj.传染性的，有感染力的

参考例句：

• It's a highly contagious infection.这种病极易传染。
• He's got a contagious laugh.他的笑富有感染力。

8 assertive   

adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的

参考例句：

• She always speaks an assertive tone.她总是以果断的语气说话。
• China appears to have become more assertive in the waters off its coastline over recent years.在近些年，中国显示出对远方海洋的自信。

9 tact   

n.机敏，圆滑，得体

参考例句：

• She showed great tact in dealing with a tricky situation.她处理棘手的局面表现得十分老练。
• Tact is a valuable commodity.圆滑老练是很有用处的。

10 finesse   

n.精密技巧，灵巧，手腕

参考例句：

• It was a disappointing performance which lacked finesse.那场演出缺乏技巧，令人失望。
• Lillian Hellman's plays are marked by insight and finesse.莉莲.赫尔曼的巨作以富有洞察力和写作技巧著称。

11 gamut   

n.全音阶，(一领域的)全部知识

参考例句：

• The exhibition runs the whole gamut of artistic styles.这次展览包括了所有艺术风格的作品。
• This poem runs the gamut of emotions from despair to joy.这首诗展现了从绝望到喜悦的感情历程。

12 toxic   

adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的

参考例句：

• The factory had accidentally released a quantity of toxic waste into the sea.这家工厂意外泄漏大量有毒废物到海中。
• There is a risk that toxic chemicals might be blasted into the atmosphere.爆炸后有毒化学物质可能会进入大气层。

13 estrangement   

n.疏远，失和，不和

参考例句：

• a period of estrangement from his wife 他与妻子分居期间
• The quarrel led to a complete estrangement between her and her family. 这一争吵使她同家人完全疏远了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 grudges   

不满，怨恨，妒忌( grudge的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He never grudges money. 他从不吝惜金钱。
• They bear grudges against each other. 他俩有过节儿。