缺乏安全感吗?这真的要怪你父母

 　　Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault

　　缺乏安全感吗？这真的要怪你父母

　　We live in a culture that celebrates individualism and self-reliance, and yet we humans are an exquisitely¹ social species, thriving in good company and suffering in isolation². More than anything else, our intimate relationships, or lack thereof, shape and define our lives.

　　我们的文化赞美个人主义和自力更生，但人类是一种敏感的群居物种，相处良好的关系让人精神抖擞，孤独的人则感到痛苦。有没有亲密的人际关系，对于塑造和定义我们生活具有非同一般的作用。

　　While there have been many schools of thought to help us understand what strains and maintains human bonds, from Freudian to Gestalt, one of the most rigorously studied may be the least known to the public.

　　从佛洛伊德到格式塔，有很多学派在帮助我们了解维系人际关系，导致关系紧张的因素，但有一种理论对这方面进行了最为细致的研究，却有可能是最不为人所知的一个。

　　It’s called attachment³ theory, and there’s growing consensus⁴ about its capacity to explain and improve how we function in relationships.

　　它就是依恋理论，人们对其解释和改进人际关系的能力正产生越来越多的共识。

　　Conceived more than 50 years ago by the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby and scientifically validated⁵ by an American developmental psychologist, Mary S. Ainsworth, attachment theory is now having a breakout moment, applied⁶ everywhere from inner-city preschools to executive coaching programs. Experts in the fields of psychology⁷, neuroscience, sociology and education say the theory’s underlying⁸ assumption — that the quality of our early attachments⁹ profoundly influences how we behave as adults — has special resonance¹⁰ in an era when people seem more attached to their smartphones than to one another.

　　这个理论是50多年前英国心理学家约翰·巴比(British Bowlby)设想出来的，美国发展心理学家玛丽·S·安斯沃思(Mary S. Ainsworth)以科学方法对其进行了验证。依恋理论现在获得了前所未有的普及，从老城区的幼儿园到企管培训课程，很多地方都运用在这个理论。其基本假设是，我们的早期依恋的质量深刻影响了我们的成年阶段。心理学、神经科学、社会学和教育领域的专家说，如今人们似乎更依恋智能手机而不是依恋彼此，依恋理论的基本假设在这个时代存在一种特别的反响。

　　By the end of our first year, we have stamped on our baby brains a pretty indelible template of how we think relationships work, based on how our parents or other primary caregivers treat us. From an evolutionary¹¹ standpoint, this makes sense, because we need to figure out early on how to survive in our immediate¹² environment.

　　婴儿一周岁的时候，大脑中就已经形成了一个几乎不可磨灭的对关系的思考模式，父母或其他看护者对待婴儿的方式塑造了这个思考模式。从进化的角度来看，这是有道理的，因为婴儿需要早点弄清楚如何在当前的环境中生存下去。

　　“If you’re securely attached, that’s great, because you have the expectation that if you are distressed¹⁴ you will be able to turn to someone for help and feel you can be there for others,” said Miriam Steele, the co-director of the Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research in New York.

　　“如果你能安全地依恋某人，那非常好，因为你会觉得，在心情不好的时候，你可以向某人寻求帮助，而且觉得你也可以帮助别人，”纽约社会研究新学院依恋研究中心(Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research)联合主任米里林·斯蒂尔(Miriam Steele)说。

　　It’s not so great if you are one of the 40 percent to 50 percent of babies who, a meta-analysis of research indicates, are insecurely attached because their early experiences were suboptimal (their caregivers were distracted, overbearing, dismissive, unreliable, absent or perhaps threatening). “Then you have to earn your security,” Dr. Steele said, by later forming secure attachments that help you override¹⁵ your flawed internal working model.

　　一项综合分析表明，40%到50%的婴儿在这方面的状况不佳，具有不安全的依恋模式，因为他们的早期经历不理想（看护者心不在焉、霸道专横、不上心、不可靠、不在场，或者可能进行了胁迫）。“这样你就必须努力去争取获得安全感，”斯蒂尔说，晚一些时候形成的安全依恋风格，可以帮助你改写有缺陷的内在运作模式。

　　Given that the divorce rate is also 40 percent to 50 percent, it would seem that this is not an easy task. Indeed, researchers said, people who have insecure attachment models tend to be drawn¹⁶ to those who fit their expectations, even if they are treated badly. They may subconsciously¹⁷ act in ways that elicit¹⁸ insensitive, unreliable or abusive behavior, whatever is most familiar. Or they may flee secure attachments because they feel unfamiliar¹⁹.

　　鉴于离婚率也是40%至50%，这看上去不像是一个容易的任务。事实上，研究人员说，如果你的依恋模式属于不安全的类型，你容易被符合你的期望的人吸引，即使他们对你并不好。你可能会在潜意识的驱使下做一些事情，引起不敏感、不可靠或虐待行为，这些是你最熟悉的行为。你也可能会逃离安全的依恋关系，因为这让你感到陌生。

　　“Our attachment system preferentially sees things according to what has happened in the past,” said Dr. Amir Levine, a psychiatrist²⁰ at Columbia University and the co-author of the book “Attached,” which explores how attachment behaviors affect the neurochemistry of the brain. “It’s kind of like searching in Google where it fills in based on what you searched before.”

　　哥伦比亚大学的精神病学家阿米尔·列文(Amir Levine)和《依恋》(Attached)一书的合著者说：“我们的依恋系统优先看到过去发生的事情。这就像是谷歌搜索服务会根据你之前搜索的内容进行自动填充一样。”《依恋》探索了依恋行为如何影响大脑的神经化学机制。

　　But again, history is not necessarily destiny. Intervention²¹ programs at the New School and the University of Delaware are having marked success helping²² at-risk groups like teenage mothers change their attachment behaviors (often passed down through generations) and establish more secure relationships. Another attachment-based intervention strategy called Circle of Security, which has 19,000 trained facilitators in 20 countries, has also proved effective.

　　但是，历史不一定就会决定命运。新学院和特拉华大学的干预项目取得了显著的成功，这些项目帮助少女母亲这样的高危群体改变依恋行为（通常会代代相传），并建立更安全的关系。另一个称为安全圈(Circle of Security)的项目也被证明是有效的，这是一个基于依恋的干预项目，在20个国家有1.9万名训练有素的协调员。

　　What these protocols²³ have in common is promoting participants’ awareness²⁴ of their attachment style, and their related sabotaging²⁵ behaviors, as well as training on how to balance vulnerability and autonomy in relationships.

　　这些协议的共同点是促进参与者对自己的依恋风格及其相关破坏行为的认识，训练他们去平衡关系中的脆弱性和自主性。

　　One reason attachment theory has “gained so much traction²⁶ lately is its ideas and observations are so resonant²⁷ with our daily lives,” said Kenneth Levy²⁸, an associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University who researches attachment-oriented psychotherapy.

　　宾夕法尼亚州立大学依恋心理疗法的心理学副教授肯尼思·利维(Kenneth Levy)说，依恋理论“获得了这么多的关注的一个原因是，它的理念和观点与我们的日常生活存在很多共鸣。”

　　Indeed, if you look at the classic categories of attachment styles — secure; insecure anxious; insecure avoidant; and insecure disorganized — it’s pretty easy to figure out which one applies to you and others in your life. The categories stem from tens of thousands of observations of babies and toddlers whose caregivers leave them briefly²⁹, either alone or with a stranger, and then return, a test known as the “strange situation.” The labels can also apply to how adults behave toward loved ones in times of stress.

　　事实上，如果你看看经典的依恋风格类型——安全型、不安全焦虑型、不安全回避型，和不安全紊乱型——很容易看出你和你遇见过的人属于哪种类型。这种分类来自于对数以千计的婴儿和幼儿的观察，他们的看护者离开一会儿，留下他们独自一人或者是和陌生人待一起，然后看护者再返回，这称为“陌生情景”的测试。而成年人在遇到压力的时候如何对待他们喜欢的人，也可以分为这些类型。

　　Secure children get upset when their caregivers leave, and run toward them with outstretched arms when they return. They fold into the caregiver and are quickly soothed³⁰. A securely attached adult similarly goes to a loved one for comfort and support when they, say, are passed over for a promotion³¹ at work or feel vulnerable or hurt. They are also eager to reciprocate³² when the tables are turned.

　　安全型的孩子在看护者离开时表现出不安，并在看护者回来时伸出手臂向他们跑去。他们抱住看护者，情绪很快就舒缓下来。类似地，安全型的成年人如果错过晋升，或感觉脆弱受伤时，也会向亲人寻求安慰和支持。而当亲人遇到问题时，他们也乐于提供安慰和支持。

　　Children high on the insecure anxious end of the spectrum³³ get upset when caregivers leave and may go to them when they return. But these children aren’t easily soothed, usually because the caregiver has proved to be an unreliable source of comfort in the past. They may kick and arch their back as if they are angry. As adults, they tend to obsess³⁴ about their relationships and may be overly dramatic in order to get attention. They may hound romantic interests instead of taking it slow.

　　不安全焦虑型的儿童在看护人离开时会感到不安，并且可能在看护人回来的时候走向他们。但是这些孩子的焦虑情绪不容易缓解，这通常是因为过去的一些事情已经证明看护者作为安慰的来源不太可靠。孩子可能会有踢打、弓背等动作，好像在生气。作为成年人，这种类型倾向于对关系过于沉迷，可能会做出过度戏剧化的事情，以便获得注意。他们可能会迅速升温恋情，而不是慢慢发展。

　　Insecure avoidant children don’t register distress¹³ when their caregivers leave (although their stress hormones³⁵ and heart rate may be sky high) and they don’t show much interest when caregivers return, because they are used to being ignored or rebuffed. Alternatively, a parent may have smothered³⁶ them with too much attention. Insecure avoidant adults tend to have trouble with intimacy³⁷ and are more likely to leave relationships, particularly if they are going well. They may not return calls and resist talking about their feelings.

　　不安全回避型的孩子在看护者离开时，没有表现出痛苦（尽管他们的压力激素和心率可能大大升高），并且在看护者回来时，他们也不会表现出很大的兴趣，可能因为他们习惯了被忽略或拒绝，或者可能是父母太多的关注让他们感到窒息。不安全回避型成年人容易在亲密关系中感到别扭，离开一段关系的可能性更大，特别是在关系发展顺利的时候。他们可能会不回电话，拒绝谈论自己的感觉。

　　Finally, insecure disorganized children and adults display both anxious and avoidant behaviors in an illogical and erratic³⁸ manner. This behavior is usually the lingering result of situations where a childhood caregiver was threatening or abusive.

　　最后，不安全紊乱型儿童和成人会用不合逻辑、不稳定的方式来表现焦虑和回避行为。这通常是儿童遭到看护者威胁或虐待的长期结果。

　　Tools to determine your dominant³⁹ attachment style include the Adult Attachment Interview, which is meant to be administered by a clinician, or self-report questionnaires like the Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Survey. But critics said their accuracy depends on the skill and training of the interviewer in the case of the former and the self-awareness of the test taker in the latter, which perhaps explains why you can take both tests and end up in different categories.

　　要确定你的主要依恋风格，可以到临床医生那里进行成人依恋面谈(Adult Attachment Interview)，或者是填写自我调查问卷，比如《依恋风格和紧密关系调查问卷》(Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Survey)。但批评者说，该工具的准确性在前一种情况下取决于受访者的技能和受过的训练，后一种情况下取决于测试者的自我意识，这也许可以解释为什么你参加的这两种测试结果可能会不一样。

　　“It can also be possible that people should be viewed as along a continuum in all categories,” said Glenn I. Roisman, the director of the Relationships Research Lab at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.

　　“我们可能也应该把所有类别看成渐变的连续带，”明尼阿波利斯明尼苏达大学关系研究实验室主任格伦·I·若斯曼(Glenn I. Roisman)说。

　　It’s worth noting that just as people in the insecure categories can become more secure when they form close relationships with secure people, secure people can become less so if paired with people who are insecure. “You need social context to sustain your sense of security,” said Peter Fonagy, a professor of psychoanalysis at University College London.

　　值得注意的是，正如一个不安全类别的人，在与安全型的人建立密切关系时可以变得更趋向于安全型，那些安全型的人在与不安全类别的人交往时，也可能会变得缺乏安全感。伦敦大学学院心理分析教授彼得·方纳吉(Peter Fonagy)说：“你需要社交背景来维持安全感。

　　He added that having secure attachments is not about being a perfect parent or partner but about maintaining communication to repair the inevitable⁴⁰ rifts⁴¹ that occur. In the daily battering⁴² of any relationship, Dr. Fonagy said, “if free flow of communication is impaired⁴³, the relationship is, too.”

　　他说，拥有安全型的依恋风格，重点并不在于成为完美的父母或伴侣，而是在于维持沟通、修复难以避免的裂痕。任何关系都会有日常的磕磕碰碰，方纳吉说，“如果自由的交流沟通受到损害，关系也会蒙受损失。”

1 exquisitely   

adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地

参考例句：

• He found her exquisitely beautiful. 他觉得她异常美丽。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He wore an exquisitely tailored gray silk and accessories to match. 他穿的是做工非常考究的灰色绸缎衣服，还有各种配得很协调的装饰。 来自教父部分

2 isolation   

n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离

参考例句：

• The millionaire lived in complete isolation from the outside world.这位富翁过着与世隔绝的生活。
• He retired and lived in relative isolation.他退休后，生活比较孤寂。

3 attachment   

n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附

参考例句：

• She has a great attachment to her sister.她十分依恋她的姐姐。
• She's on attachment to the Ministry of Defense.她现在隶属于国防部。

4 consensus   

n.(意见等的)一致，一致同意，共识

参考例句：

• Can we reach a consensus on this issue?我们能在这个问题上取得一致意见吗？
• What is the consensus of opinion at the afternoon meeting?下午会议上一致的意见是什么？

5 validated   

v.证实( validate的过去式和过去分词 )；确证；使生效；使有法律效力

参考例句：

• Time validated our suspicion. 时间证实了我们的怀疑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The decade of history since 1927 had richly validated their thesis. 1927年以来的十年的历史，充分证明了他们的论点。 来自辞典例句

6 applied   

adj.应用的；v.应用，适用

参考例句：

• She plans to take a course in applied linguistics.她打算学习应用语言学课程。
• This cream is best applied to the face at night.这种乳霜最好晚上擦脸用。

7 psychology   

n.心理，心理学，心理状态

参考例句：

• She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
• He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。

8 underlying   

adj.在下面的，含蓄的，潜在的

参考例句：

• The underlying theme of the novel is very serious.小说隐含的主题是十分严肃的。
• This word has its underlying meaning.这个单词有它潜在的含义。

9 attachments   

n.（用电子邮件发送的）附件( attachment的名词复数 )；附着；连接；附属物

参考例句：

• The vacuum cleaner has four different attachments. 吸尘器有四个不同的附件。
• It's an electric drill with a range of different attachments. 这是一个带有各种配件的电钻。

10 resonance   

n.洪亮；共鸣；共振

参考例句：

• Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments.一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。
• The areas under the two resonance envelopes are unequal.两个共振峰下面的面积是不相等的。

11 evolutionary   

adj.进化的；演化的，演变的；[生]进化论的

参考例句：

• Life has its own evolutionary process.生命有其自身的进化过程。
• These are fascinating questions to be resolved by the evolutionary studies of plants.这些十分吸引人的问题将在研究植物进化过程中得以解决。

12 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

13 distress   

n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛

参考例句：

• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
• Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

14 distressed   

痛苦的

参考例句：

• He was too distressed and confused to answer their questions. 他非常苦恼而困惑，无法回答他们的问题。
• The news of his death distressed us greatly. 他逝世的消息使我们极为悲痛。

15 override   

vt.不顾，不理睬，否决；压倒，优先于

参考例句：

• The welfare of a child should always override the wishes of its parents.孩子的幸福安康应该永远比父母的愿望来得更重要。
• I'm applying in advance for the authority to override him.我提前申请当局对他进行否决。

16 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

17 subconsciously   

ad.下意识地，潜意识地

参考例句：

• In choosing a partner we are subconsciously assessing their evolutionary fitness to be a mother of children or father provider and protector. 在选择伴侣的时候，我们会在潜意识里衡量对方将来是否会是称职的母亲或者父亲，是否会是合格的一家之主。
• Lao Yang thought as he subconsciously tightened his grasp on the rifle. 他下意识地攥紧枪把想。 来自汉英文学 - 散文英译

18 elicit   

v.引出,抽出,引起

参考例句：

• It was designed to elicit the best thinking within the government. 机构的设置是为了在政府内部集思广益。
• Don't try to elicit business secrets from me. I won't tell you anything. 你休想从我这里套问出我们的商业机密, 我什么都不会告诉你的。

19 unfamiliar   

adj.陌生的，不熟悉的

参考例句：

• I am unfamiliar with the place and the people here.我在这儿人地生疏。
• The man seemed unfamiliar to me.这人很面生。

20 psychiatrist   

n.精神病专家；精神病医师

参考例句：

• He went to a psychiatrist about his compulsive gambling.他去看精神科医生治疗不能自拔的赌瘾。
• The psychiatrist corrected him gently.精神病医师彬彬有礼地纠正他。

21 intervention   

n.介入，干涉，干预

参考例句：

• The government's intervention in this dispute will not help.政府对这场争论的干预不会起作用。
• Many people felt he would be hostile to the idea of foreign intervention.许多人觉得他会反对外来干预。

22 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

23 protocols   

n.礼仪( protocol的名词复数 )；（外交条约的）草案；（数据传递的）协议；科学实验报告（或计划）

参考例句：

• There are also protocols on the testing of nuclear weapons. 也有关于核武器试验的协议。 来自辞典例句
• Hardware components and software design of network transport protocols are separately introduced. 介绍系统硬件组成及网络传输协议的软件设计。 来自互联网

24 awareness   

n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智

参考例句：

• There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。
• Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。

25 sabotaging   

阴谋破坏（某事物）( sabotage的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Mr Smith fiercely denied any question of sabotaging the talks. 史密斯先生坚决拒绝任何企图阻挠谈话的提问。
• Failed in sabotaging APEC summit in Sydney of Australia. 澳大利亚悉尼APEC会议遭遇惨败。

26 traction   

n.牵引；附着摩擦力

参考例句：

• I'll show you how the traction is applied.我会让你看如何做这种牵引。
• She's injured her back and is in traction for a month.她背部受伤，正在作一个月的牵引治疗。

27 resonant   

adj.(声音)洪亮的，共鸣的

参考例句：

• She has a resonant voice.她的嗓子真亮。
• He responded with a resonant laugh.他报以洪亮的笑声。

28 levy   

n.征收税或其他款项，征收额

参考例句：

• They levy a tax on him.他们向他征税。
• A direct food levy was imposed by the local government.地方政府征收了食品税。

29 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

30 soothed   

v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦

参考例句：

• The music soothed her for a while. 音乐让她稍微安静了一会儿。
• The soft modulation of her voice soothed the infant. 她柔和的声调使婴儿安静了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

31 promotion   

n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传

参考例句：

• The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
• The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级，加了薪。

32 reciprocate   

v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答

参考例句：

• Although she did not reciprocate his feelings, she did not discourage him.尽管她没有回应他的感情，她也没有使他丧失信心。
• Some day I will reciprocate your kindness to me.总有一天我会报答你对我的恩德。

33 spectrum   

n.谱，光谱，频谱；范围，幅度，系列

参考例句：

• This is a kind of atomic spectrum.这是一种原子光谱。
• We have known much of the constitution of the solar spectrum.关于太阳光谱的构成，我们已了解不少。

34 obsess   

vt.使着迷，使心神不定，（恶魔）困扰

参考例句：

• I must admit that maps obsess me.我得承认我对地图十分着迷。
• A string of scandals is obsessing America.美国正被一系列丑闻所困扰。

35 hormones   

n. 荷尔蒙，激素 名词hormone的复数形式

参考例句：

• This hormone interacts closely with other hormones in the body. 这种荷尔蒙与体內其他荷尔蒙紧密地相互作用。
• The adrenals produce a large per cent of a man's sex hormones. 肾上腺分泌人体的大部分性激素。

36 smothered   

（使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制

参考例句：

• He smothered the baby with a pillow. 他用枕头把婴儿闷死了。
• The fire is smothered by ashes. 火被灰闷熄了。

37 intimacy   

n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行

参考例句：

• His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切，这有点言过其实。
• I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。

38 erratic   

adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的

参考例句：

• The old man had always been cranky and erratic.那老头儿性情古怪,反复无常。
• The erratic fluctuation of market prices is in consequence of unstable economy.经济波动致使市场物价忽起忽落。

39 dominant   

adj.支配的，统治的；占优势的；显性的；n.主因，要素，主要的人(或物)；显性基因

参考例句：

• The British were formerly dominant in India.英国人从前统治印度。
• She was a dominant figure in the French film industry.她在法国电影界是个举足轻重的人物。

40 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

41 rifts   

n.裂缝( rift的名词复数 )；裂隙；分裂；不和

参考例句：

• After that, through the rifts in the inky clouds sparkled redder and yet more luminous particles. 然后在几条墨蓝色云霞的隙缝里闪出几个更红更亮的小片。 来自汉英文学 - 现代散文
• The Destinies mend rifts in time as man etches fate. 当人类想要再次亵渎命运的时候，命运及时修正了这些裂痕。 来自互联网

42 battering   

n.用坏，损坏v.连续猛击( batter的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The film took a battering from critics in the US. 该影片在美国遭遇到批评家的猛烈抨击。
• He kept battering away at the door. 他接连不断地砸门。 来自《简明英汉词典》

43 impaired   

adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Much reading has impaired his vision. 大量读书损害了他的视力。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• His hearing is somewhat impaired. 他的听觉已受到一定程度的损害。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》