七个方法教你勇敢地说“不”

 　你是否觉得很难对他人提出的要求说“不”？你是不是经常为了对别人nice而牺牲了自己？放心吧，你不是一个人！

　　很多人都不擅长拒绝，因为怕伤害对方的感情。自己明明有很多任务在身，可是当别人请求帮助时还是答应了，最后不得不牺牲自己的睡觉时间。事实上，如此勉强对自己没有好处，在必要的时候，我们应该学会说“不”！如果你不知道该怎么做，那么这里教给你七种简单的方式，要根据场合运用哦。

　　1. “I can't commit to this as I have other priorities¹ at the moment.”

　　1. “现在我还有其他重要事情，不能花时间在这事上。”

　　If you are too busy to engage in the request/offer, this will be applicable². This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as future requests. You can also share what you're working on so the person can understand better。

　　如果你因为太忙而无法接受对方的请求，这句话就可以用上了。它能让对方知道你此刻还有很多事要做，他/她应该放弃这次求助，并且在接下来的这段时间也不再来打扰。你还可以告诉对方自己正在做什么，那样他/她能更好地理解。(have a full plate 在有限的时间里有好多事情要做)

　　2. “Now's not a good time as I'm in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”

　　2. “现在真不是个好时间，我正忙着呢。要不我们X点再联系吧？”

　　It's common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something. This method is a great way to (temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it's not a good time as you are doing something. Secondly³, you make known your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn't feel blown off。

　　我们经常在很忙碌的时候接到突如其来的求助，那么这句话就可以起到很好的暂时性推辞的作用。首先，你让对方知道现在你正忙，时间不合适；其次，通过提出再次联系的时间让对方知道你是想帮忙的，这样别人才不会感觉被冷落了。(*blow sb. off 突然对某人很冷淡)

　　3. “I'd love to do this, but …”

　　3. “我是愿意做这事，但是……”

　　It's a gentle way of breaking no to the other party. It's encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there's nothing wrong about it.

　　这是一种委婉拒绝他人的方式。这句话比较鼓舞人心，因为它让对方知道你愿意做这事(当然，只有当你真的愿意的时候才请这样说)，并且他/她的请求本身没有什么不对。

　　4. “Let me think about it first and I'll get back to you.”

　　4. “让我先想一想吧，之后再给你答复。”

　　This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don't want to say “yes” just yet, use this. If the person is sincere⁴ about the request, he/she will be more than happy to wait a short while. Specify⁵ a date / time-range (say, in 1-2 weeks) where the person can expect a reply.

　　这句话更像是表示一种可能，而非直截了当地说“不”。如果你对对方所提出的事情有兴趣，但又不想马上答应，那就用这句话吧。如果对方的请求是真诚的，那么他/她反而更愿意等上一小会儿。记得告诉对方一个明确的日期或时间范围(比如，一到两周)，让别人知道何时能收到答复。

　　5. “This doesn't meet my needs now but I'll be sure to keep you in mind.”

　　5. “这事目前不合我的需求，但我会记在心里的。”

　　If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn't what you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn't meet your needs. Otherwise, the discussion⁶ can drag on longer than it should. It helps as the person know it's nothing wrong about what he/she is offering, but that you are looking for something else. At the same time, by saying you'll keep him/her in mind, it signals you are open to future opportunities.

　　如果有人向你提出一项交易或是一次机遇，而它并不是你所想要的，那么就坦白地告诉他/她这不合你的需求，否则这次的谈话将被拖延下去。这句话能让对方知道他/她提出的事情并没有问题，只是不是你所需要的。同时告诉对方你会记住此事，那就表明如果以后有合适的机会你还愿意接受。

　　6. “I'm not the best person to help on this. Why don't you try X?”

　　6. “我不是帮忙做这事的最佳人选，何不找某某人试试呢？”

　　If you are being asked for help in something which you (i) can't contribute much to (ii) don't have resources to help, let it be known they are looking at the wrong person. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on – whether it's someone you know, someone who might know someone else, or even a department.

　　如果某人请求你帮忙的事属于以下两种情况：1、自己做不了多少贡献；2、没有提供帮助的资源，那就告诉他们找错对象了。如果可能的话，为他们指明一个可以请教的对象——这个对象可以是你认识的人，可以是认识其他人的人，甚至可以是一家机构。

　　7. “No, I can't.”

　　7. “不，不行。”

　　The simplest and most direct way to say no. We build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. These barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don't think so much about saying no and just say it outright⁷. You'll be surprised when the reception isn't half as bad as what you imagined it to be.

　　这是最简单、最直接的说“不”的方式。当我们想说“不”时，总在自己内心筑起一道道障碍，而这些障碍根本是我们自找的，它们并非真的存在。所以要说“不”的时候不必想太多，直接说出来就是了。你会惊讶地发现对方的反应远没有自己所想象的糟糕。

1 priorities   

n.先( priority的名词复数 )；优先；优先权；优先考虑的事

参考例句：

• The document provided a revealing insight into the government's priorities. 这份文件使人看出政府的轻重缓急是怎样安排的。
• We must work together to fund only our most important priorities. 我们必须共同努力，只为最重要的项目提供资金。 来自英汉非文学 - 政府文件

2 applicable   

adj.适当的，合适的，可应用的

参考例句：

• The section of the form is not applicable in your case.表格这一部分不适合你的情况。
• This section of the law is applicable only to corporations.这部分法律只适用于公司。

3 secondly   

adv.第二，其次

参考例句：

• Secondly,use your own head and present your point of view.第二，动脑筋提出自己的见解。
• Secondly it is necessary to define the applied load.其次，需要确定所作用的载荷。

4 sincere   

adj.真诚的，诚挚的，诚恳的

参考例句：

• He is sincere and easy to get along with.他为人诚恳，很好相处。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

5 specify   

vt.指定，详细说明

参考例句：

• We should specify a time and a place for the meeting.我们应指定会议的时间和地点。
• Please specify what you will do.请你详述一下你将做什么。

6 discussion   

n.讨论，谈论；论述

参考例句：

• It is certain he will come to the discussion.他肯定会来参加讨论。
• After months of discussion,a peace agreement is gradually taking shape.经过几个月的商讨，和平协议渐渐有了眉目。

7 outright   

adv.坦率地；彻底地；立即；adj.无疑的；彻底的

参考例句：

• If you have a complaint you should tell me outright.如果你有不满意的事，你应该直率地对我说。
• You should persuade her to marry you outright.你应该彻底劝服她嫁给你。