How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

 How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

Comparing yourself to other people has got to be one of the easiest things for any person to do. We can’t help it. People feel the need to do it in order to understand where they stand in society’s “hierarchy¹”.

Most people buy into this “hierarchy” that society has created and they want to be at the highest level possible of it, as well as know where they stand in it at all times. There are a ton of barometers³ to indicate one’s placement in it.

From elementary to up until high school, it was all about appearance and popularity. After that came the comparisons of universities fellow students attended, if any. Then came the all too popular financial barometer². How much money do you make? What kind of material possessions do you own? What’s your marital⁴ status? How many friends do you have? And on and on and on.

There’s a seemingly invisible set of “rules” that people have subtly agreed upon to play by, which has probably been initiated⁵ by advertising⁶ and the media in order to create this social “hierarchy” and play off the wants of people to be at the very top of it. The majority of people tend to play by these rules and because the majority of people play by these rules, it creates enormous pressure for everyone in general to play by the rules, to play within the system and be “ranked” according to it because that’s the system everyone is using.

So the question remains⁷. How do you stop comparing yourself to other people given the “hierarchy” society has created and that the majority of people are playing by the “rules” to determine one’s placement in it?

Don’t think hierarchy.

Think journey.

Topple the concept of hierarchy in your mind right now and watch all those different pieces on all the different “levels” come tumbling down and settling on one, even, level playing field called life.

What most people who think in terms of “hierarchy” don’t realize is that they’re potentially, and most likely comparing themselves with false data, and they’re letting that comparison based on false data dictate⁸ their future actions accordingly.

The easiest example to illustrate⁹ this is with the financial barometer. It’s probably the top barometer used in society today and the majority of people realize that.

And because the majority of people realize that, they understand it’s imperative¹⁰ to “look” financially successful in order to be on top of the social “hierarchy”, leveraging¹¹ that rule everyone plays by in their favor. To do that, it might and most likely means getting into severe debt.

And sure enough, despite the fact they’re deep in the red financially, they “look” financially successful and that’s all that matters in terms of cementing one’s position at the near top of the social “hierarchy”.

But that’s not where it ends. That’s just where it begins. Other people see that happening and not wanting to fall lower on the totem pole, try to outdo the other in terms of looking financially successful. But remember, it was based on a false front to begin with. Then the original person seeing that, doesn’t want to get left behind and ups the ante and on and on and on.

You know that phrase “keeping up with the Jones’?” What most people don’t realize is that the Jones’ are too busy keeping up with the Smiths and Smiths are too busy keeping up with the Browns and the Browns are too busy keeping up with the Millers¹², etc.

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If you keep thinking “hierarchy”, you’ll always find somebody that will be “above” you. You can’t win that game. It’s a loop that will never end.

Everybody is taking a different path in life. The most important thing to remember is to make sure that you’re doing what you want to be doing. Other people will be doing what they want to be doing, even if it means manipulating their appearances based on the “rules” of the system to be at the top of the “hierarchy”, but that’s ok. They’re doing what they’re doing. You can’t judge them for that.

Some people might start their own business; some might choose to practice medicine or law. That’s fine. That’s what they want to do.

What do YOU want to do?

If you keep focusing on everyone else’s journey, you’re going to stop paying quality attention to your own. What I mean by quality attention is attention free from jealousy¹³, worry, envy, strife¹⁴, etc., - just a calm, objective look at your own journey that can provide answers to help move you forward or to even determine what that journey should be in the first place.

If you keep on looking at other people’s journeys, you’re going to crash and that’s what a lot of people do.

Focus on your own journey. Your journey is no better or any worse than anybody else’s. It’s yours alone.

It’s unique, it’s different, and it’s one that has never been taken, nor will ever be. Nobody has lived your exact same life, has had your exact same thoughts, feelings, and experiences that make up who you are today.

Focus on what you want and only what YOU want. That’s it. It’s your journey. Other people will have their own to follow.

And even after all that, if you still feel the urge to compare, compare yourself to yourself in terms of your own journey - how far you’ve gotten, what you’ve learned, how you’ve grown and you’ll find that will prove to be one of the best barometers you will ever use in life.

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1 hierarchy   

n.等级制度；统治集团，领导层

参考例句：

• There is a rigid hierarchy of power in that country.那个国家有一套严密的权力等级制度。
• She's high up in the management hierarchy.她在管理阶层中地位很高。

2 barometer   

n.气压表，睛雨表，反应指标

参考例句：

• The barometer marked a continuing fall in atmospheric pressure.气压表表明气压在继续下降。
• The arrow on the barometer was pointing to"stormy".气压计上的箭头指向“有暴风雨”。

3 barometers   

气压计，晴雨表( barometer的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Fixed cistern barometers are used as a standard for checking aneroid barometers. 固定槽式气压计可以作为标准件去检验无液气压计。
• Fixed cistern barometers are used as a standard for checking. 固定槽式气压计可以作为标准件去检验。

4 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。

5 initiated   

n. 创始人 adj. 新加入的 vt. 开始，创始，启蒙，介绍加入

参考例句：

• He has not yet been thoroughly initiated into the mysteries of computers. 他对计算机的奥秘尚未入门。
• The artist initiated the girl into the art world in France. 这个艺术家介绍这个女孩加入巴黎艺术界。

6 advertising   

n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的

参考例句：

• Can you give me any advice on getting into advertising? 你能指点我如何涉足广告业吗?
• The advertising campaign is aimed primarily at young people. 这个广告宣传运动主要是针对年轻人的。

7 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

8 dictate   

v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令

参考例句：

• It took him a long time to dictate this letter.口述这封信花了他很长时间。
• What right have you to dictate to others?你有什么资格向别人发号施令？

9 illustrate   

v.举例说明，阐明；图解，加插图

参考例句：

• The company's bank statements illustrate its success.这家公司的银行报表说明了它的成功。
• This diagram will illustrate what I mean.这个图表可说明我的意思。

10 imperative   

n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的

参考例句：

• He always speaks in an imperative tone of voice.他老是用命令的口吻讲话。
• The events of the past few days make it imperative for her to act.过去这几天发生的事迫使她不得不立即行动。

11 leveraging   

促使…改变( leverage的现在分词 )； [美国英语]杠杆式投机，（使）举债经营，（使）利用贷款进行投机

参考例句：

• De-leveraging is a painful process: it has barely begun. 去杠杆化是个痛苦的过程：它才刚刚开始。
• Archimedes said, saying: Give me a fulcrum, I can leveraging the Earth. 阿基米德说过一句话：给我一个支点，我可以撬动地球。

12 millers   

n.（尤指面粉厂的）厂主( miller的名词复数 )；磨房主；碾磨工；铣工

参考例句：

• Millers and bakers sought low grain prices. 磨粉厂主和面包师寻求低廉的谷物价格。 来自辞典例句
• He told me he already been acquainted with the Millers. 他跟我说他同米勒一家已经很熟。 来自互联网

13 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

14 strife   

n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争

参考例句：

• We do not intend to be drawn into the internal strife.我们不想卷入内乱之中。
• Money is a major cause of strife in many marriages.金钱是造成很多婚姻不和的一个主要原因。