双语精选：让你的婚姻更幸福

 　Having recently celebrated¹ our first wedding anniversary, I wanted to learn how my husband and I could help immunize ourselves from future strains and stresses on our marriage. Since we inherit most of our conceptions of marriage from our families, peers and social groups, I was drawn² to Tara Parker-Pope's scientific exploration of relationships in For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage. After her 17-year marriage ended, the New York Times Well Blog columnist³ Parker-Pope sought an objective, fact-based understanding of what went wrong in her own relationship. Whether you think of your significant other as your soul mate, life partner, husband or wife, Parker-Pope offers insights to help you strengthen your most profound relationship in life.

　　最近我和丈夫刚刚庆祝了第一个结婚周年纪念日，我想学习一下我们如何才能避免未来婚姻中的磕磕绊绊。由于我们大多数有关婚姻的观点都继承自我们家人、同辈朋友和社会群体，因此当我最近读到塔拉·帕克·蒲伯的《期待更好：幸福婚姻的科学》一书时，我被书中对婚姻关系的科学探索所吸引。在结束了17年的婚姻之后，这位《纽约时报》的博客专栏作家开始寻找对于自身恋爱关系中的问题的客观有事实根据的理解。不论你对你的灵魂伴侣、生活搭档还是丈夫或妻子，这些重要的另一半怎么看，帕克·蒲伯所提供的深刻见解都能帮助你增强生活中最深远的那层关系。

　　If you are in a new and thriving marriage, a fulfilling partnership⁴ of many years, or evaluating whether you want to take the next step, Parker-Pope's tips from "For Better" will help you maintain, booster or rekindle⁵ the relationship bliss⁶:

　　不论你是正享受甜蜜的新婚，还是经营了多年的幸福婚姻，抑或正在盘算是否要进行下一步，那么帕克·蒲伯在本书中提供的小贴士会帮助你维持、增进或者重新点燃你的幸福爱情。

　　1.Celebrate the small stuff.

　　1.庆祝点滴小事。

　　"It's not enough that your partner knows that you take pride in her or her accomplishments⁷. You have to show it. Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen every day can boost the health of your marriage."

　　“如果你的伴侣只知道你为她或者她的才能而骄傲，这还不够。你必须将此表现出来。多挖掘每天发生的微小的美好的事情，这会促进婚姻的健康发展。”

　　2.Learn how to fight productively.

　　2.学会如何有效地争吵。

　　"The key to fighting productively is to recognize when a disagreement is going in the wrong direction and to take steps to calm things down and repair rifts⁸."

　　“有效争吵的关键在于，认识到争论是在何时偏离了方向，并且采取措施让事情平静下来并修复分歧。”

　　3.Silence is not golden.

　　3.沉默并非是金。

　　"By staying quiet and avoiding conflict when things bothered them, they had missed important opportunities to cultivate and grow their relationship."

　　“如果出现困扰时仍保持安静、避免冲突，那么他们就失去了滋养感情和增进感情的重要机会。”

　　4.Don't put negative thoughts into the universe.

　　4.不要总是有消极想法。

　　"Men and women who had pondered thoughts of divorce in 1980 were nine times more likely to have gotten divorced by the end of the study."

　　“在1980年开始的一项研究中，曾有过离婚想法的男女，到研究结束时离婚的可能性是其他人的9倍。”

　　5.Plan together.

　　5.一起计划。

　　"Couples who planned a baby's arrival or who were equally joyous⁹ at becoming parents were far more likely to maintain their marital¹⁰ happiness or even enjoy an increase after the baby was born."

　　“计划生育宝宝或是同样满足于为人父母的夫妻更易保持婚姻幸福，有的在宝宝出生后婚姻幸福感得到了提升。”

　　6.Maintain a circle of friends and support.

　　6.维持朋友圈和给予支持。

　　"Strong friendships outside the marriage can take the pressure off your relationship, help you work things out away from your spouse¹¹, and ultimately protect your marriage from unnecessary stress and discord¹²."

　　“婚姻之外牢固的友谊能减轻你因爱情所承受的压力，帮助你在不依靠伴侣的情况下解决问题，最终保护你的婚姻免受不必要的压力与不和。”

　　7.Overcompensate for mistakes.

　　7.过度补偿错误。

　　"Do marriage math. Even when you make a mistake, tell yourself that you're going to do at least five positive things for your spouse to make up for it, and then do them. And don't wait until you bicker¹³ to turn on the charm. Nice gestures and comments go far in a marriage, they are easy to do, and they will help insulate your marriage from being damaged by the inevitable¹⁴ bad days."

　　“做一下这道关于婚姻的数学题。当你犯了错误，告诉自己你要对伴侣做至少5件积极的事情来补偿，然后照做。不要等到你们发生了口角才来展现你的魅力。优美的姿态和言语在婚姻中十分奏效，这很容易做到，它们还有助于使你的婚姻免遭不可避免的坏情绪日子的侵害。”

　　8.Set the marriage bar high.

　　8.设高婚姻的门槛。

　　"Husbands and wives who hold their partners to a reasonably high standard have better marriages. If you expect a better, more satisfying relationship, you improve your chances of having one."

　　“将伴侣的档次提升到合理高度的夫妻会有更幸福的婚姻。如果你期望有一段更美好、更令自己满意的婚姻关系，那么你就要提升拥有它的可能性。”

　　9.Give it a break.

　　9.给婚姻适当的空间。

　　"Sometimes, improving your marriage means giving it a break. Increasing your connections with family, friends and society is good for your marriage."

　　“有时候，改善婚姻质量意味着给它一些空间。增加你跟家人、朋友和社会的联系对婚姻有好处。”

　　10.Be aware of your body language.

　　10.注意你的肢体语言。

　　"Eye rolling is a painfully obvious sign of contempt, and it's a powerful predictor that your relationship is in serious trouble."

　　“转眼珠的动作非常明显地表现出了蔑视，这强有力地预示了你的婚姻关系陷入了大麻烦。”

1 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

2 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

3 columnist   

n.专栏作家

参考例句：

• The host was interviewing a local columnist.节目主持人正在同一位当地的专栏作家交谈。
• She's a columnist for USA Today.她是《今日美国报》的专栏作家。

4 partnership   

n.合作关系，伙伴关系

参考例句：

• The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。
• Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。

5 rekindle   

v.使再振作；再点火

参考例句：

• Nothing could rekindle her extinct passion.她激情已逝,无从心回意转。
• Is there anything could rekindle his extinct passion?有什么事情可重燃他逝去的热情呢？

6 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

7 accomplishments   

n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就

参考例句：

• It was one of the President's greatest accomplishments. 那是总统最伟大的成就之一。
• Among her accomplishments were sewing,cooking,playing the piano and dancing. 她的才能包括缝纫、烹调、弹钢琴和跳舞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

8 rifts   

n.裂缝( rift的名词复数 )；裂隙；分裂；不和

参考例句：

• After that, through the rifts in the inky clouds sparkled redder and yet more luminous particles. 然后在几条墨蓝色云霞的隙缝里闪出几个更红更亮的小片。 来自汉英文学 - 现代散文
• The Destinies mend rifts in time as man etches fate. 当人类想要再次亵渎命运的时候，命运及时修正了这些裂痕。 来自互联网

9 joyous   

adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的

参考例句：

• The lively dance heightened the joyous atmosphere of the scene.轻快的舞蹈给这场戏渲染了欢乐气氛。
• They conveyed the joyous news to us soon.他们把这一佳音很快地传递给我们。

10 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。

11 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

12 discord   

n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐

参考例句：

• These two answers are in discord.这两个答案不一样。
• The discord of his music was hard on the ear.他演奏的不和谐音很刺耳。

13 bicker   

vi.(为小事)吵嘴，争吵

参考例句：

• The two children used to bicker about who should do the washing-up.这两个小孩子过去常为该由谁洗餐具一事而争吵。
• They always bicker when they meet at school.在学校见面时他们总是争吵。

14 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。