5种方法让你跟妈妈不再吵架

 　　1. Don’t give her the silent treatment

　　1.别跟她冷战

　　The best technique to get what you want and exert mental pressure on somebody is to give them the silent treatment. If you think that the silent treatment will always help you achieve a desirable result, then you’re mistaken. Sure, your mom will refuse to interact with you as well. By all means, you should take immediate¹ action to stop this cold war.

　　得到你想要的并且对某人施加心理压力的最好方法就是跟他们冷战。不过，如果你认为沉默总能帮你达到想要的结果，那你就大错特错了。当然，你妈妈也会同样拒绝跟你交流。不管用什么方法，你都应该立即采取行动，制止这场冷战。

　　2. Refuse to go into hysterics

　　2.拒绝歇斯底里

　　There’s no doubt that hysterics is an extremely effective type of manipulation, but you’re not a little girl. If you cannot prove your case, you shouldn’t burst into tears in front of your mother. Pull yourself together and try to reach a compromise against all odds². Every time, it seemed to me that I was losing control of my feelings, I preferred to shut up and wait until my heartache would fade away. I didn’t want my mom to absorb my negative emotions and think that I wasn’t strong and mature. It helped me reduce the frequency of hysterics and improved the relationship with my mother.

　　毫无疑问，歇斯底里是一种绝对有效的处理方式，但是你不是小女孩了。如果你不能证明你自己，你就不应该在你妈妈面前泪流满面。振作起来，试着排除万难达成和解。每一次在我看来我快控制不了自己情绪的时候，我宁愿闭嘴，直到我不再心痛为止。我不想妈妈被我的负面情绪所感染，觉得我不够坚强跟成熟。这帮我减少了歇斯底里的频率，还增进了我跟妈妈之间的关系。

　　3. Avoid deeply offensive words

　　3.不要说一些很伤人的话

　　We’re living in a democratic world where we’re free to express our opinions and tell almost everything we want. Word is a unique and powerful thing that exerts a big influence on human mind. If you’re at odds with your mother, you should be careful what you say to her. Sometimes your word can be either a perfect pain reliever or a terrible weapon. Sooner or later, you’ll apologize for your bad behavior, but the words you’ve uttered and the feeling of resentment³ will live in her heart forever.

　　我们生活在一个民主世界里，我们可以自由地表达我们的观点，也可以说几乎任何我们想说的话。话语是能对人类思想产生巨大影响的独一无二的强有力的东西。如果你跟你妈妈有什么争执的地方，你应该注意你对她说的话。有时候你的话可能会是一种完美的镇痛剂，但也有可能是一种伤人的武器。迟早，你会为你不好的行为道歉，但是你说出去的话以及那种愤恨的感觉会永远留在她心底。

　　4. Don’t draw other family members into a conflict

　　4.不要把其他家庭成员卷进冲突里面

　　I must confess that earlier I had a terrible habit of drawing my brother and dad into conflicts between me and my mom. I wanted them to support me and help us find a mutually beneficial solution. Unfortunately, their active participation⁴ only intensified⁵ the problem. As a result, small and insignificant⁶ mother-daughter fights grew into long-lasting family conflicts. I learned a big lesson and realized that my bad temper made my family suffer.

　　我必须早点坦白，我有一个习惯就是我总是会把我的兄弟跟父亲卷进我跟妈妈的冲突里面。我想要他们支持我并且帮我找到一个互利的解决办法。不幸的是，他们的加入只会让问题愈演愈烈。结果，小小的，根本无关紧要的妈妈跟女儿之间的争吵演变成了持久的家庭矛盾。我被好好的上了一课并意识到：我的坏脾气都让所有家人都跟着遭殃的。

　　5. Enhance your communication

　　5.多沟通

　　How often do you communicate with your mother? Psychologists say that regular communication with your parents is a normal thing that makes them happier. Lack of communication between mothers and daughters can create emotional barriers and even trigger frequent quarrels. The generation gap is not the only barrier to effective and healthy communication with your mother. The main reasons are buried deep in your subconscious⁷ mind. When you finally find the reason, you’ll be able to overcome misunderstanding in communication with your mom and bridge the generation gap in a quite short period of time.

　　你多长时间跟你妈妈沟通一次？心理学家说经常和你的父母沟通是能让他们更快乐的一件平凡事。妈妈跟女儿之间缺乏沟通会产生情感上的障碍，甚至会引发频频的争吵。这个代沟不是你跟妈妈有效的、健康的沟通的唯一障碍。主要的原因深埋在你的潜意识深处。当你最终发现这个原因的时候，你就能克服你跟你妈妈沟通上的误解，并且短时间内就能建起那座代沟的桥梁。

1 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

2 odds   

n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别

参考例句：

• The odds are 5 to 1 that she will win.她获胜的机会是五比一。
• Do you know the odds of winning the lottery once?你知道赢得一次彩票的几率多大吗？

3 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

4 participation   

n.参与，参加，分享

参考例句：

• Some of the magic tricks called for audience participation.有些魔术要求有观众的参与。
• The scheme aims to encourage increased participation in sporting activities.这个方案旨在鼓励大众更多地参与体育活动。

5 intensified   

v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Violence intensified during the night. 在夜间暴力活动加剧了。
• The drought has intensified. 旱情加剧了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 insignificant   

adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的

参考例句：

• In winter the effect was found to be insignificant.在冬季，这种作用是不明显的。
• This problem was insignificant compared to others she faced.这一问题与她面临的其他问题比较起来算不得什么。

7 subconscious   

n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的)

参考例句：

• Nail biting is often a subconscious reaction to tension.咬指甲通常是紧张时的下意识反映。
• My answer seemed to come from the subconscious.我的回答似乎出自下意识。