约会时我们这样发短信，结婚后我们这样发

 　　在我们结婚周年纪念日那一天，我丈夫将我们首次约会以来的所有短信整理成文档，作为礼物送给我。为庆祝我们结婚六周年，我准备把他送我的礼物升级。我浏览了自约会以来的所有这些短信，并将这些短信内容按时段从约会到订婚再到新婚进行对比。我开始比较六年前和如今我们短信中的所用的词汇。

　　首先可以看出，我丈夫特别喜欢使用“家”这个词。而我在二十出头的年纪，则更喜欢用一声招呼“嗨”来开始对话，并且我那时好像常常不对我丈夫使用问候语，但是他发短信跟我说的许多事情，我却很赞同。然后我又比较了开始约会时和去年我们之间的短信中那些特殊词汇的使用频次。

　　我们之间的交谈从一开始的“嗨，你好吗？”到“可以，看起来不错”。我们不再在短信中叫出对方的名字，我们也不再常常说“爱”。但有些词的使用却至始至终都保持相对稳定的频次，例如“家”和“晚餐”。

　　约会时我们这样发短信，结婚后我们这样发

　　Way back in October 2008, my now husband and I went on our first date. On our one year anniversary, his gift to me was a Word doc of all of our text messages since our first date (what he likes to refer to as #thegiftofdata). This was especially high tech back in the day (given that we both had feature phones) and what I considered to be the most thoughtful gift ever (given that we are both nerds).

　　To celebrate our six year anniversary, I decided¹ to take his present to the next level. I took a look at all of our text messages from our first year of dating and compared them with our text messages from the past year as an engaged couple and then newlyweds. I started by looking at the words we used in our text messages six years ago versus² present day.

　　First of all, we can clearly see that my husband has an obsession³ with the word “home”. As for me, my early twenties self frequently started conversations with the term “hey”, and more recently I seem to have decided to no longer greet my husband, but instead agree with most of the things he texts me.

　　I then looked at the frequency of specific terms we used in our text messages when we started dating compared to the past year.

　　Our conversations changed from “hey, what’s up?” to “ok, sounds good”. We stopped saying each other’s names in our text messages. We don’t say in “love” as much anymore. Several words stayed relatively⁴ consistent⁵ over the years though, such as “home” and “dinner”. I took a look at the actual text messages that contained these words, and found that although the terms stayed the same, the context⁶ they were used in actually changed over time.

　　The main difference is that while we were dating, we didn’t see each other every day, so a lot of our communication had to happen via text. We’d often message the other person to see what they were doing or tell them that we were thinking of them. As a married couple, since we’re together all the time, we set up date nights and say sweet things to each other in person, so texting is mostly used to confirm logistics or share random⁷ thoughts.

　　Since the content of our text messages changed so much, I decided to look and see if the time of day we’d send text messages to each other changed as well. I focused on the messages we sent each other during the month after our first date, our engagement⁸ and our wedding.

　　While we were dating, we started thinking about each other around 3pm in the afternoon and we’d send each other text messages until 3am in the morning. As a married couple, our texting schedule has pretty much flipped⁹. We text all through the workday and never at night.

　　We see the same story here. As a new couple, since we were apart the majority of the time, we had to check in with the other person every now and then, especially during the evening and late at night when we had no idea who they were with! It was also to tell the other person that we were out late doing something cool without them… and wishing they were there, of course.

　　As a committed couple, the only time of the day that we aren’t together is during the workday, so that’s when we text. We know exactly where the other person is each evening and if we’re doing something cool, it’s likely that we’re in it together and telling each other about it face to face.

　　Overall, our text messages started out very flirty¹⁰ and personal. Since we were new in our relationship, we made sure the things we said were interesting and thoughtful. As our relationship progressed, we spent more time together and got more comfortable with each other. Our text messages became more predictable, but only because all of the unpredictable things were said in person. We no longer have to text “I love you” from a distance in the middle of the night. I can now roll over, snuggle with my husband and whisper it into his ear.

1 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

2 versus   

prep.以…为对手，对；与…相比之下

参考例句：

• The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
• The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。

3 obsession   

n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感)

参考例句：

• I was suffering from obsession that my career would be ended.那时的我陷入了我的事业有可能就此终止的困扰当中。
• She would try to forget her obsession with Christopher.她会努力忘记对克里斯托弗的迷恋。

4 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

5 consistent   

adj.坚持的，一贯的，一致的，符合的

参考例句：

• He has been a consistent friend to the Chinese people.他是中国人民始终如一的朋友。
• His action is always consistent with his words.他始终言行一致。

6 context   

n.背景，环境，上下文，语境

参考例句：

• You can always tell the meaning of a word from its context.你常可以从上下文中猜出词义来。
• This sentence does not seem to connect with the context.这个句子似乎与上下文脱节。

7 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

8 engagement   

n.订婚，婚约，约定，约会

参考例句：

• I can't see you on Monday because I have a previous engagement.星期一我不能见你，因为我有约在先。
• It was my mother's very own engagement ring.这正是我母亲自己的订婚戒指。

9 flipped   

轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 )； 按（开关）； 快速翻转； 急挥

参考例句：

• The plane flipped and crashed. 飞机猛地翻转，撞毁了。
• The carter flipped at the horse with his whip. 赶大车的人扬鞭朝着马轻轻地抽打。

10 flirty   

adj.爱调戏的，轻浮的

参考例句：

• Add a flirty blouse and cardigan for a super chic weekend look. 再穿一件风情万种的衬衫，搭配开襟羊毛衫，就是超级有型的周末装了。 来自互联网