放厕纸朝外or朝里？处女座伤不起

 　　In any given household, wars between spouses¹, families and roommates are waged on a variety of different fronts. Who does the dishes tonight? Who will take out the trash? How could Steve have left the toilet seat up...again? And seriously, who finished the coffee but didn't refill the pot? The audacity².

　　同住一个屋檐下，无论是夫妻之间，还是家人、室友之间，都有可能因生活中各种各样的琐碎小事而爆发“战争”。比如：今晚轮到谁洗碗了；今天该谁负责倒垃圾了；斯蒂夫上完厕所怎么又忘盖马桶盖了；说真的，到底是谁喝完咖啡也不再冲上一壶。脸皮可真够厚！

　　Individuals have to figure out most of these issues themselves through awkward household meetings, and, likely, more than a little bit of passive aggressive behavior.

　　这些问题大部分都是可以通过家庭会议自行解决的，但毕竟共处一屋，难免会尴尬，而且，很有可能会出现冒犯性的语言攻击，甚至有大打出手的情况。

　　放厕纸朝外or朝里？处女座伤不起

　　But today, we are thrilled to report that some questions do have answers. And it might be the most important household dispute you can imagine. For far too long people have been arguing about whether the toilet paper roll should go over (meaning the toilet paper feeds out over the top) or under (meaning the toilet paper would come out from underneath).

　　不要担心，现在，我们要怀着激动的心情告诉大家：有些问题已经找到解决的办法了。而且，极有可能就是你能想到的最严重的家庭纠纷。长期以来，人们一直就厕纸卷的悬挂方式而争论不休。那么问题来了，厕纸摆放到底是应该朝外（即厕纸从上方往外抽出）还是朝里（即厕纸从下方由内抽出）。

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　　首先，为什么这个问题那么重要。来看一组数据：

　　50%的人对厕纸朝向很在意。

　　美国人每年平均要花半个小时来研究厕纸的朝向。

　　25%的人会在厕纸朝向“错误”时把它翻过来。

　　1/5的人会因为厕纸摆放错了方向而恼火，其中男性比女性更容易生气。

　　哦，原来人类在厕纸面前这么脆弱！

　　Thanks to a patent filed on June 8, 1891 by inventor Seth Wheeler — that's 124 years ago! — we now know that the "overs" were correct. I write this as a girl who used to be an "under." I know, the shame.

　　1891年6月8日，厕纸发明人赛斯?惠勒（Seth Wheeler）申请了该项专利，没错，就是124年前！多亏了这张专利图纸，我们现在终于知道了：朝外摆放厕纸才是正确滴。作为一个总是将厕纸朝里放的女生，小编实在是捂脸羞愧。

　　Fight as the "unders" might, the proof is in the diagram.

　　下面这张图纸将说服那些心存异议的“朝里党”们。

　　In addition to settling that long argued upon question, the patent tells us a bit more about toilet paper, and why we should recognize Wheeler for making bathroom time a little more user friendly. According to the patent, we have him to thank for easily tearable pieces of tissue.

　　这张专利图纸解答了困惑人们已久的厕纸摆放问题，除此之外，它还普及了更多有关厕纸的信息，并解释了为什么惠勒的这项发明能让蹲厕变得舒服一点。从这张专利图纸，我们不难看出，在撕扯厕纸时惠勒的发明确实为我们提供了不少方便。

　　In a letter to the United States Patent Office, Wheeler describes how wrapping-paper (that's what he called toilet paper) used to be packaged. He wrote, "In the manufacture of wrapping-paper it is usual to cut the same into sheets, count them out into quires or half-quires, fold them, and tie them up into bundles, such as half-reams or reams."

　　在给美国专利局（the United States Patent Office）递交的专利申请信上，惠勒详细解说了人们以前都是如何对“包装纸”（厕纸的委婉说法）进行包装的。他写道：“在包装纸的生产过程中，通常情况下，人们会将其切割成同样大小的一张张纸片，然后数出一刀或半刀（一刀纸相当于24张纸）为一叠，折叠起来，分别用绳捆在一起，最后形成一令装或半令装的包装纸（一令纸相当于20刀纸）。

　　Wheeler wrote about his improvements, "My invention consists of a roll of connected sheets of paper for toilet use, said roll having incisions³ at intervals⁴ extending from the side of the web toward the center, but not meeting, and terminating in an angular out, whereby the slight connection left may be separated without injury to the connected sheets."

　　紧接着，惠勒又写道了他对厕纸的改进：“我发明的厕纸就是一卷纸，由一张张连接在一起的纸片组成的。纸张之间每隔一定长度就会有一条分割线。分割线就是从卷纸两侧边沿到卷纸中央会有一排持续但不连接的一个个小切口，这样扯完纸后会留下一个个向外突出的小棱角，正因为有这些残留下来的小角才使得下一格纸不会受到损坏。”

　　Tearable pieces of toilet paper certainly sound a lot easier to deal with than pre-cut pieces of tissue wrapped in a bundle.

　　当然，相比于那些提前切割好了捆成一摞的卫生纸，这种易撕厕纸听起来就好用得多。

　　As for the original debate between the "overs" and the "unders," as a more recently converted "over," let me say to all those religiously holding on to their "under" status, having the toilet paper dispense⁵ from the top is actually more convenient. I swear. It takes a few weeks to get used to it, and then you start scoffing⁶ whenever you see it positioned the other way.

　　回到最初关于厕纸摆放朝外还是朝里的争论，小编也是最近才改变这一习惯将厕纸朝外摆放的，我想以亲身实践对那些执着于将厕纸朝里摆放的人们说：朝外摆放厕纸，然后从上方扯纸确实相对更为方便！我发誓！这种改变可能需要几周时间来适应，但当你适应了以后，每当你看到厕纸朝里摆放时，你肯定会忍不住嘲笑。

　　Trust Seth Wheeler. He hasn't steered⁷ us wrong so far.

　　相信赛斯?惠勒吧，他可从未误导我们。

1 spouses   

n.配偶，夫或妻( spouse的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Jobs are available for spouses on campus and in the community. 校园里和社区里有配偶可做的工作。 来自辞典例句
• An astonishing number of spouses-most particularly in the upper-income brackets-have no close notion of their husbands'paychecks. 相当大一部分妇女——特别在高收入阶层——并不很了解他们丈夫的薪金。 来自辞典例句

2 audacity   

n.大胆，卤莽，无礼

参考例句：

• He had the audacity to ask for an increase in salary.他竟然厚着脸皮要求增加薪水。
• He had the audacity to pick pockets in broad daylight.他竟敢在光天化日之下掏包。

3 incisions   

n.切开，切口( incision的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Cruciate incisions heal poorly and are not required. 不需要愈合差的十字形切口。 来自辞典例句
• After two days red incisions appear on their bodies. 一两天内身体会出现粉红色的损伤。 来自电影对白

4 intervals   

n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息

参考例句：

• The forecast said there would be sunny intervals and showers. 预报间晴，有阵雨。
• Meetings take place at fortnightly intervals. 每两周开一次会。

5 dispense   

vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施

参考例句：

• Let us dispense the food.咱们来分发这食物。
• The charity has been given a large sum of money to dispense as it sees fit.这个慈善机构获得一大笔钱，可自行适当分配。

6 scoffing   

n. 嘲笑, 笑柄, 愚弄 v. 嘲笑, 嘲弄, 愚弄, 狼吞虎咽

参考例句：

• They were sitting around the table scoffing. 他们围坐在桌子旁狼吞虎咽地吃着。
• He the lid and showed the wonderful the scoffing visitors. 他打开盖子给嘲笑他们的老人看这些丰富的收获。

7 steered   

v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 )；操纵；控制；引导

参考例句：

• He steered the boat into the harbour. 他把船开进港。
• The freighter steered out of Santiago Bay that evening. 那天晚上货轮驶出了圣地亚哥湾。 来自《简明英汉词典》