过年大吐槽：我为什么害怕过春节？

 　　For me, Chinese New Year used to be fun.

　　对于我来说，过去感觉过年很有意思呢。

　　When I was a kid, I was excited during Chinese New Year when I got lai see and I could stay up late. I even had access to candy, a once-a-year treat while living under the roof of my Tiger Mom.

　　孩提时的我，一到过年就兴奋不已，我虽平日生活在我家虎妈的“淫威”下，但过年我就可以收到红包了，可以熬夜了，甚至还有机会收到一年才能吃到一次的糖果了。

　　Riding strong on the sugar highs, I always thought to myself, this is what it must feel like to be an adult. I was flush, free and giddy.

　　糖果的甜味久久回味，小时候我一直以为，这就是长大成人的感觉，长大了就可以有了一片无拘无束任自己自由驰骋的天地。

　　Then at some point in my twenties, Chinese New Year became a chore. Not any garden variety chore, but a cold-sweat-inducing family obligation that I try hard to avoid.

　　后来，到了我二十多岁的时候，农历新年却变得很苦逼。各种苦逼问题劈头盖脸般扑向你，而我在设法逃避着这种令人冒冷汗的所谓的家庭责任。

　　过年大吐槽：我为什么害怕过春节？

　　As an adult, Chinese New Year is an annual nightmare, for the following reasons:

　　我长大成人了，农历新年与我而言就是一年一度的噩梦一场，有如下原因：

　　1. I find it sucks when you are single

　　你要是单身的话，那就糟透了

　　Relatives feel that they have a right to judge you because you do share bits of DNA¹, so, really, it's almost like they're judging themselves.

　　亲戚们觉得自己有权干涉你的个人感情生活问题，因为你们毕竟部分血脉相连，所以他们说起你的感情问题来真的几乎就像是在说自己一样。

　　Typically, the extended family gathers for Chinese New Year and spends an inordinate² amount of time together, during which people get bored and focus their restlessness on judging the younger generation, particularly those who are single.

　　通常情况下，中国新年全家聚在一起的时间比较长，全家聚在一起时一旦觉得无聊，他们就会转而把精力都集中在年轻一代人、特别是单身年轻人的身上。

　　Singledom means a lack of responsibilities and responsibility-free people need to be reined³ in by the wisdom of elders, or they will be reckless with their directionless lives.

　　单身则代表缺乏责任感，没有责任感的自由人就需要受长辈们的智慧牵制，否则他们的生活就会失去方向。

　　Here are some unavoidable conversations at Chinese New Year. By "conversations" I really mean monologues⁴ by one Wise Elder or another, fired away at a particular Single Younger in a trance-like manner:

　　下面的话题就是春节时一些无法避免的对话。这里的“对话” 指的是智者长辈单方面的冗长唠叨，他们陷入一种恍惚状态“指点着”单身的年轻人们：

　　"Why don't you have a boyfriend? If you have a boyfriend, why don't you get married?"

　　“你为什么还没有男朋友？要是你有男朋友，为什么还不结婚？”

　　"Why are you not dieting at least a little bit? Second Cousin Yong Yong will have to start bringing clothes from America for you."

　　“你为什么不少吃一点儿呢？二表哥永永（音译）得要从美国给你带衣服回来啦。”

　　"What happened to your hair? Blue is not such a good color for us Chinese people."

　　“你的头发怎么弄成这副样子了？把头发染成蓝色，这个颜色对于我们中国人来说，可不是什么好颜色。”

　　"Are you saving up for an apartment? Why not? The most important thing in life is to have a roof over your head. You don't want to be homeless, do you? What if the economy collapses⁵ again? At least you will have an apartment."

　　“你在攒钱准备买房吗？为什么还不攒钱准备买房呢？人这一辈子有地方住才是大事，你不想无家可归吧？是不是？如果经济再次不行了可怎么办呢？怎么说至少你也得有一套自己的房子住才行啊。”

　　"Why don't you get a better paid job? You are wasting your talent. You will regret your life."

　　“你为什么不找一份薪水再高一些的工作呢？你白读了这么多年的书了。你会后悔你现在过的日子的。”

　　2. I am employed

　　我工作了

　　I loved the great Chinese tradition of gifting lai see. Getting HK$20 for no reason other than tradition really rocked my seven-year-old world.

　　我喜欢送红包这个优良传统。收到20元港币的红包着实震撼了七岁的我的小小世界。

　　I have an income now, so twenty bucks⁶ here and there doesn't make a huge difference, but I still retain that childhood anticipation⁷ for the red packets. It's just a bit disappointing when I open up an envelope and it isn't concealing⁹ a massive check.

　　目前我有了一份自己的收入，因此，这二十块钱无法让我再生感动之情，但我还是对童年收红包的传统习惯有了期待。只是当我打开红包时，看一下红包里面装的钱太少了时，那令人失望的表情丝毫不加掩饰。

　　And it's the guilt¹⁰ from feeling disappointed that makes me really hate Chinese New Year for making me hate myself.

　　而且自己感觉又内疚又失望，这让我真的很讨厌过年，我恨我自己。

　　It's just like being unable to conceal⁸ your letdown expression when unwrapping that pair of socks at Secret Santa parties.

　　这就像是当你打开一双秘密圣诞老人的袜子时，你表露出的那种无法掩饰的失望表情。

　　Gifting is a heartwarming tradition. It's the thought that counts. I am not supposed to care. I am a bad person.

　　送礼物是一种让人感觉温馨的优良传统，重在心意。我本不该在乎礼物轻重的，我真是个地道的大坏蛋。

　　There's even worse.

　　还有更糟糕的。

　　Chinese New Year gambling¹¹ is just out of hand.

　　春节赌博可谓是到了一发不可收拾的地步。

　　Now that I have a job, I'm expected to bet real money at The Mahjong Table, a no man's land filled with hidden agendas, treacherous¹² scheming and Janus-faced traitors¹³.

　　现在，我有了一份工作，我盼着在麻将桌上动真格的赢点钱，如同无人区满藏各种制敌取胜的奸诈心计一样算计着赢钱。

　　If you beat your elder relatives at mahjong one too many times, beware their wrath¹⁴. It really hurts when you get hit by a mahjong tile.

　　如果你打麻将总赢你的长辈亲戚们，当心惹恼他们是会向你飞来一个麻将牌的，麻将牌打到身上真是很疼的。

1 DNA   

(缩)deoxyribonucleic acid 脱氧核糖核酸

参考例句：

• DNA is stored in the nucleus of a cell.脱氧核糖核酸储存于细胞的细胞核里。
• Gene mutations are alterations in the DNA code.基因突变是指DNA密码的改变。

2 inordinate   

adj.无节制的；过度的

参考例句：

• The idea of this gave me inordinate pleasure.我想到这一点感到非常高兴。
• James hints that his heroine's demands on life are inordinate.詹姆斯暗示他的女主人公对于人生过于苛求。

3 reined   

勒缰绳使（马）停步( rein的过去式和过去分词 )； 驾驭； 严格控制； 加强管理

参考例句：

• Then, all of a sudden, he reined up his tired horse. 这时，他突然把疲倦的马勒住了。
• The officer reined in his horse at a crossroads. 军官在十字路口勒住了马。

4 monologues   

n.（戏剧）长篇独白( monologue的名词复数 )；滔滔不绝的讲话；独角戏

参考例句：

• That film combines real testimonials with monologues read by actors. 电影中既有真人讲的真事，也有演员的独白。 来自互联网
• Her monologues may help her make sense of her day. 她的独白可以帮助她让她一天的感觉。 来自互联网

5 collapses   

折叠( collapse的第三人称单数 )； 倒塌； 崩溃； （尤指工作劳累后）坐下

参考例句：

• This bridge table collapses. 这张桥牌桌子能折叠。
• Once Russia collapses, the last chance to stop Hitler will be gone. 一旦俄国垮台，抑止希特勒的最后机会就没有了。

6 bucks   

n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 )；钱；（英国十九世纪初的）花花公子；（用于某些表达方式）责任v.（马等）猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 )；抵制；猛然震荡；马等尥起后蹄跳跃

参考例句：

• They cost ten bucks. 这些值十元钱。
• They are hunting for bucks. 他们正在猎雄兔。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 anticipation   

n.预期，预料，期望

参考例句：

• We waited at the station in anticipation of her arrival.我们在车站等着，期待她的到来。
• The animals grew restless as if in anticipation of an earthquake.各种动物都变得焦躁不安，像是感到了地震即将发生。

8 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

9 concealing   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Despite his outward display of friendliness, I sensed he was concealing something. 尽管他表现得友善，我还是感觉到他有所隐瞒。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• SHE WAS BREAKING THE COMPACT, AND CONCEALING IT FROM HIM. 她违反了他们之间的约定，还把他蒙在鼓里。 来自英汉文学 - 三万元遗产

10 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

11 gambling   

n.赌博；投机

参考例句：

• They have won a lot of money through gambling.他们赌博赢了很多钱。
• The men have been gambling away all night.那些人赌了整整一夜。

12 treacherous   

adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的

参考例句：

• The surface water made the road treacherous for drivers.路面的积水对驾车者构成危险。
• The frozen snow was treacherous to walk on.在冻雪上行走有潜在危险。

13 traitors   

卖国贼( traitor的名词复数 )； 叛徒； 背叛者； 背信弃义的人

参考例句：

• Traitors are held in infamy. 叛徒为人所不齿。
• Traitors have always been treated with contempt. 叛徒永被人们唾弃。

14 wrath   

n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒

参考例句：

• His silence marked his wrath. 他的沉默表明了他的愤怒。
• The wrath of the people is now aroused. 人们被激怒了。