语死早如何和别人闲聊下去？试试中度交谈吧

 A couple of weeks ago, I went to someone's birthday party at a bar after work. The birthday girl was a friend of a friend — I was there to hang out with the friend. As often happens at such events, I found myself standing¹ next to someone I didn't know and positioned in a way where we basically had to talk to one another. It would have been weird², otherwise — we had been accidentally shunted out of the main conversational³ circle (it was a small gathering) and weren't close enough to its center to be able to pretend to listen to what was going on. We were marooned⁴ with one another.

几周前，我下了班到酒吧参加一位朋友的生日聚会。过生日的女孩是朋友的朋友——我只是跟着自己朋友去玩的。我又一次遇到了在这种场合下经常发生的事，那就是站在一位陌生人身旁，而且好像非要交谈一下不可。如果不说话会有点奇怪——因为我们碰巧都在主要的谈话圈子外面（那是一个小聚会），我们离圈子中心太远了，没法假装成在听别人交谈。我们躲不掉彼此交谈了。

语死早如何和别人闲聊下去？试试中度交谈吧

These sorts of conversations are weird. When the connection between you and the other person is tenuous⁵, as it was between myself and this woman, both parties know there's a pretty good chance this will be the only conversation the two will ever have with one another. You will meet, talk briefly⁶ about your jobs or the weather, part ways, and then, in the long run, live the rest of your lives and die without ever speaking again.

这种交谈是非常怪异的。你和那个人之间没什么关系，就像我和这位女士一样，我们俩都知道很可能这一辈子只会和对方说这么一回话。你们会相遇，简单地聊聊工作或天气，然后分开，再然后，在相当长的一段时间里，过着各自的日子，至死也不会再交谈。

Our conversation quickly fell into the usual rut: What do you do oh that's cool here's what I do wow okay. She said she worked at a small museum that contained the papers and various artsy artifacts of some deceased rich guy (I can't even remember which one). Without even thinking about it, I asked, “What's your least favorite piece in the collection?” Something shifted in the conversation. She said something like, “Nobody's ever asked me that. People always ask what my favorite piece is.” I mentally high-fived myself, usually an awkward person who does not thrive in small-talk scenarios⁷, for having at least thrown things off their usual course.

我们的对话也很快陷入了惯常的套路：“你是做什么的呀！”“真棒！”“我是做这个的”“哇，真好！”她说她在一个小博物馆工作，馆里收藏了某位过世富豪（我甚至想不起是谁了）的文字和各种各样的手工艺品。我想都没想就问道：“你最不喜欢哪件作品？”这场谈话的氛围变了。她好像接着说：“从来没有人问过我这个，大家一般都问我最喜欢哪件作品。”我在心里给自己点了个赞，因为我通常是个不擅长聊天的人，今天至少说了点别人想不到的话。

Little did I know there was a name for what I had done: medium talk. “What kind of questions would you ask to make medium talk, instead of small talk?” asked user Sentinel_P, and the query⁸ garnered⁹ more than 3,500 comments.

我并不知道自己的做法还有一个名字：中度聊天（medium talk）。一位名为Sentinel_P的用户在网站上提问：“如果你想展开一场中度聊天（medium talk）而不是闲谈聊天（small talk），你会问些什么问题呢？”这个提问贴得到了3500多条回复。

The question got the reaction it did because it walks a tricky¹⁰ line: Everyone has an intuitive sense of what “medium talk” might mean, but the term isn't fully¹¹ defined. That tension leads to some fascinating answers. Most people seem to interpret the question the way you'd expect — how do you lift a fleeting¹² and likely unimportant-in-the-grand-scheme conversation up out of dulls-ville so that you'll at least remember or learn something from it?

这个问题之所以能得到这么多回复，是因为它问得非常巧妙：每个人都能从直觉上理解“中度聊天”一词可能的含义，但是这个术语又没有准确的释义。这个小矛盾带来了一些精彩的答案。大多数人好像是以你期待的方式阐释了这个问题——你怎样才能让短暂的假大空聊天摆脱无聊模式，至少聊完了能记住点什么或者学到点东西？

Who knows? Maybe medium talk will even lead to large talk if you get trapped next to the right person at the right time.

谁知道呢？如果你在正确的时间和正确的人困在一起，也许中度聊天还会变成深度谈心呢。

1 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

2 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

3 conversational   

adj.对话的，会话的

参考例句：

• The article is written in a conversational style.该文是以对话的形式写成的。
• She values herself on her conversational powers.她常夸耀自己的能言善辩。

4 marooned   

adj.被围困的；孤立无援的；无法脱身的

参考例句：

• During the storm we were marooned in a cabin miles from town. 在风暴中我们被围困在离城数英里的小屋内。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Five couples were marooned in their caravans when the River Avon broke its banks. 埃文河决堤的时候，有5对夫妇被困在了他们的房车里。 来自辞典例句

5 tenuous   

adj.细薄的，稀薄的，空洞的

参考例句：

• He has a rather tenuous grasp of reality.他对现实认识很肤浅。
• The air ten miles above the earth is very tenuous.距离地面十公里的空气十分稀薄。

6 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

7 scenarios   

n.[意]情节；剧本；事态；脚本

参考例句：

• Further, graphite cores may be safer than non-graphite cores under some accident scenarios. 再者，根据一些事故解说，石墨堆芯可比非石墨堆芯更安全一些。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
• Again, scenarios should make it clear which modes are acceptable to users in various contexts. 同样，我们可以运用场景剧本来搞清楚在不同情境下哪些模式可被用户接受。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

8 query   

n.疑问，问号，质问；vt.询问，表示怀疑

参考例句：

• I query very much whether it is wise to act so hastily.我真怀疑如此操之过急地行动是否明智。
• They raised a query on his sincerity.他们对他是否真诚提出质疑。

9 garnered   

v.收集并（通常）贮藏（某物），取得，获得( garner的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Mr. Smith gradually garnered a national reputation as a financial expert. 史密斯先生逐渐赢得全国金融专家的声誉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He has garnered extensive support for his proposals. 他的提议得到了广泛的支持。 来自辞典例句

10 tricky   

adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的

参考例句：

• I'm in a rather tricky position.Can you help me out?我的处境很棘手，你能帮我吗？
• He avoided this tricky question and talked in generalities.他回避了这个非常微妙的问题，只做了个笼统的表述。

11 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

12 fleeting   

adj.短暂的，飞逝的

参考例句：

• The girls caught only a fleeting glimpse of the driver.女孩们只匆匆瞥了一眼司机。
• Knowing the life fleeting,she set herself to enjoy if as best as she could.她知道这种日子转瞬即逝，于是让自已尽情地享受。