开会那些事儿：乱写乱画假装很忙

 Bullet points, question marks, underlining and a couple of impressive looking equations.

着重号，问号，下划线，还有其他几个令人印象深刻的方程式。

These are the methods used by one cheeky office worker to appear engaged in front of his boss during a mundane¹ meeting.

这就是一位调皮的员工用来在常见的会议上在老板面前假装很忙的方法。

The bored employee uploaded a copy of the hilarious² handwritten notes he took during a conference to Reddit on Wednesday so others could learn how simple it is to fool you employer into thinking you're a productive member of staff.

周三，这位觉得开会很无聊的员工将自己在某次会议期间手写的一份非常好笑的笔记上传到Reddit网站上，以便让大家学一下骗老板以为你效率很高有多简单。

开会那些事儿：乱写乱画假装很忙

'Pretend to pay attention and look like you’re writing important things even though it’s all BS,' he scrawled³ on a note pad.

他在记事本上潦草地写道：“假装在注意听讲，看上去你在写啥重要的东西，其实啥也不是。”

'Indentation and bullet points are always a nice touch,' he added.

他补充道：“缩进和着重号是不错的点缀。”

After sitting and listening for another ten minutes, the officer worker jotted⁵ down some numbers and equations so it appeared he was paying close attention.

又听了十分钟的会议内容后，这位员工草草记下了几个数字和方程式，因此看上去他在开会时很专心。

He had several other pointers about how underlining, using question marks and drawing arrows made your notes look legitimate⁶ from afar.

他又提出了几条建议，告诉大家划线标注、使用问号、和画箭头如何能使你的会议记录远远看上去合情合理。

His last piece of advice was to make sure you jam some writing into the margins⁷ to 'avoided having to fill up more than one page'.

他的最后一条建议是，在纸张边缘处写些字，免得还要另用一张。

'I can't wait until working in traditional offices are a thing of the past and working remotely from my bed becomes standard,' the man added.

他补充说：“非常盼望在传统办公室工作的时期成为过去，在家办公成为新标准。”

Reddit users were quick to draw comparisons to their own 'waste of time' meetings, while others said the man should have used his time to be more productive.

Reddit网站用户很快就将其和自己参加的“浪费时间”的会议作了对比。也有些人说这位员工应该更高效地利用时间。

'Seriously, I don't know how many "mandatory⁸" meetings I have that are better suited to be email or on the company messenger,' one user wrote.

一位用户写道：“认真地讲，我不知道我参加了多少‘强制’会议，而这些会议内容其实以电邮或者公司内部通讯工具发送会更好。”

'I did that once too! Wrote something like "just writing things down so it looks like I'm paying attention". I still have the notebook at work,' commented another.

“我也这么干过！写一些类似于‘随便写写，这样看起来我在认真参会’的东西在纸上。我还保存有工作时的记事本”，另一位用户评论道。

The writer of another note, obtained by Daily Mail Australia, appears to have taken the man's advice, using dot points to jot⁴ down what a waste of time his hour and a half meeting was.

《每日邮报》澳洲版还拿到了另一份会议记录，写下这份会议记录的员工似乎已经采纳了前文所述员工的建议，使用圆点记下了这个长达一个半小时的会议有多浪费时间。

'Projector⁹ not working – standard. Good start.'

“投影仪坏掉了，普遍情况，不错的开始。”

'No one is listening to you mate.... bla bla bla,' he wrote.

“讲话的这位，没人在听你说啥啊……吧啦吧啦吧啦”，他写道。

He then took down the date of a quality audit¹⁰ with a short reminder¹¹ to 'chuck a sickie' that day.

之后他记下了质量审核的日期，加了个简短提醒，那天“请个病假”。

'That’s it. Great. 1.5 hours gone,' he wrote, marking the end of the meeting.

“就这样，不错，会开了1个半小时”，会议结束时他写道。

The unidentified officer worker sat through another unbearable¹² meeting on Thursday and compiled a sassy account of what was said after wasting some time while he waited for his boss to arrive. 这位身份不明的员工周四还耐着性子开完另一个让人难以忍受的会议，写下了一份活泼的会议记录。等老板到会还耽误了一会儿时间。

'Oh yeah, 10 minutes still waiting for directors to arrive.'

“噢耶，还有10分钟主管才能来。”

'No worries, plenty of time, got nothing else to do,' he wrote.

“别担心，时间足够，没啥可做的”，他写道。

He slammed one man for his 'boring' contribution, asking 'how does this relate to my project?'

他还批评了一位在会上说的话“很无聊”的人，问道：“这和我的项目有啥关系？”

'Wow this guy is putting people to sleep. Seriously.' he said, adding that he was the only one in the meeting who bothered to take notes.

“噢这人把大家都催眠了，讲真”，他写道，他还补充说他是会上唯一一个不厌其烦地做记录的人。

Vocabulary

jot down：草草记下，匆匆记下

sickie：一天的病假

1 mundane   

adj.平凡的；尘世的；宇宙的

参考例句：

• I hope I can get an interesting job and not something mundane.我希望我可以得到的是一份有趣的工作，而不是一份平凡无奇的。
• I find it humorous sometimes that even the most mundane occurrences can have an impact on our awareness.我发现生活有时挺诙谐的，即使是最平凡的事情也能影响我们的感知。

2 hilarious   

adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed

参考例句：

• The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后，派对变得更加热闹起来。
• We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停，因为那个节目太搞笑了。

3 scrawled   

乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• I tried to read his directions, scrawled on a piece of paper. 我尽量弄明白他草草写在一片纸上的指示。
• Tom scrawled on his slate, "Please take it -- I got more." 汤姆在他的写字板上写了几个字：“请你收下吧，我多得是哩。”

4 jot   

n.少量；vi.草草记下；vt.匆匆写下

参考例句：

• I'll jot down their address before I forget it.我得赶快把他们的地址写下来，免得忘了。
• There is not a jot of evidence to say it does them any good.没有丝毫的证据显示这对他们有任何好处。

5 jotted   

v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下

参考例句：

• I jotted down her name. 我匆忙记下了她的名字。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The policeman jotted down my address. 警察匆匆地将我的地址记下。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

6 legitimate   

adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法

参考例句：

• Sickness is a legitimate reason for asking for leave.生病是请假的一个正当的理由。
• That's a perfectly legitimate fear.怀有这种恐惧完全在情理之中。

7 margins   

边( margin的名词复数 )； 利润； 页边空白； 差数

参考例句：

• They have always had to make do with relatively small profit margins. 他们不得不经常设法应付较少的利润额。
• To create more space between the navigation items, add left and right margins to the links. 在每个项目间留更多的空隙，加左或者右的margins来定义链接。

8 mandatory   

adj.命令的；强制的；义务的；n.受托者

参考例句：

• It's mandatory to pay taxes.缴税是义务性的。
• There is no mandatory paid annual leave in the U.S.美国没有强制带薪年假。

9 projector   

n.投影机，放映机，幻灯机

参考例句：

• There is a new projector in my office.我的办公室里有一架新的幻灯机。
• How long will it take to set up the projector?把这个放映机安放好需要多长时间？

10 audit   

v.审计；查帐；核对；旁听

参考例句：

• Each year they audit our accounts and certify them as being true and fair.他们每年对我们进行账务审核，以确保其真实无误。
• As usual,the yearly audit will take place in December.跟往常一样，年度审计将在十二月份进行。

11 reminder   

n.提醒物，纪念品；暗示，提示

参考例句：

• I have had another reminder from the library.我又收到图书馆的催还单。
• It always took a final reminder to get her to pay her share of the rent.总是得发给她一份最后催缴通知，她才付应该交的房租。

12 unbearable   

adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的

参考例句：

• It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
• The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。