[00:03.32]这不是我在胡说，有科学依据的 This is not me talking. It’s a scientific fact.
[00:08.60]女生踢不过男生，这是事实 Girls can’t beat boys. It’s as simple as that.
[00:11.28]那好，贾斯丁，你是队长 你怎么想？ OK. Justin, you’re the team captain. What do you think about it?
[00:14.72]教练说了算 I think the coach said it all.
[00:18.32]昨天你说我比你们一半的人要好 Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team.
[00:21.68]什么？ What?
[00:25.36]我从没说过 I never said that.
[00:27.40]你胡说什么呢？ 你为什么要撒谎？ What are you talking about? Why are you lying?!
[00:30.16]维奥拉！讨论结束 Viola! End of discussion.
[00:31.72]对，告诉她，伙计 Yeah, tell her, man.
[00:32.24]那好，我们也结束了 Fine. End of relationship.
[00:39.72]- 好了，我们走 - 宝贝，别这样。我…… - Come on, let’s go. - Baby, don’t be like that. I...
[00:42.16]我只是不想见你受伤害 I just don’t want to see you get hurt.
[00:45.16]你真会扯… You are so full of...
[00:46.24]回去训练 Back to practice.
[00:52.52]赛巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
[00:60.80]赛巴斯蒂安？！ Sebastian?!
[01:06.56]塞巴斯蒂安！真是的！ Sebastian! Jeez!
[01:10.00]是你啊 It’s you.
[01:10.92]要命，你和你哥背后看上去一模一样 God, you and your brother look scary alike from the back.
[01:15.16]看来你身材一点曲线都没有 I think it’s your total lack of curves.
[01:19.36]你好，摩妮琪 真高兴见到你 Hi, Monique. It’s so good to see you too.
[01:19.56]我找塞巴斯蒂安。他在哪儿？ I’m looking for Sebastian. Where is he?
[01:23.04]我不知道 I don’t know.
[01:25.92]记得告诉你哥他能有我是多幸运 Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life.
[01:26.44]让他打电话给我， 不然就分手，知道不？ And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it. OK?
[01:30.92]好，那你的号码是？ 1-800-婊子？ OK. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEYOTCH?
[01:37.76]她会耍更多花样的 She will do great things.
[01:43.00]我要给你个惊喜！ I have a surprise for you!
[01:47.08]所以我才不带朋友过来 And this is why I don’t bring friends over.
[01:50.96]妈，现在不行 我今天很不顺，所以… Mom, not now. I had a really bad day, so...
[01:51.84]那这正是让你打起精神的时机 This is just the thing to just perk you up.
[01:54.76]- 等等 - 好 - Hold on. - OK.
[01:56.44]把眼睛闭上 Keep your eyes closed.
[01:58.76]- 闭上眼，闭紧了，闭紧了 - 闭紧了 - Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed. - They’re closed.
[02:01.72]好了，惊喜来了！ All right. Surprise!
[02:06.16]我宝贝初次亮相的华美礼服 Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante.
[02:09.64]妈妈，我都说了上千遍了！ Mom, have I not told you a thousand times?
[02:12.84]我对社交亮相没兴趣 太老土了 I have no interest in being a debutante. It’s totally archaic.
[02:14.24]我怎么会生出你这个女儿 How could I wind up with a daughter
[02:16.24]成天就在野地里踢泥巴球 who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day?
[02:21.28]但世界回归正轨了，妈妈 他们解散了我们队 Well, the world has been set right, Mom. They cut my team.
[02:23.28]- 什么？不踢球了？ - 是啊，没错。不踢了 - What? No soccer? - Yeah, that’s right. No soccer.
[02:28.32]- 真可惜 - 是啊，我知道你悲痛欲绝 - How sad. - Yeah, I can see you’re all torn up.
[02:30.52]但，贾斯丁会喜欢你穿这个的 Well, Justirs gonna love you in this.
[02:35.92]这理由也不成立了 我把他甩了 Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him.
[02:37.72]- 什么？为什么？ - 我不想说 - What? Why? - I don’t wanna talk about it.
[02:40.56]他那么帅，又强壮 He’s so handsome and rugged
[02:43.44]轮廓明显又会踢球 and chiseled and great.
[02:46.72]那你怎么不约他，老妈？ Then why don’t you date him, Mom?
[02:50.12]不，我不行 No, I couldn’t.
[02:54.80]你还好吗？ You OK?
[02:55.32]- 嘿，塞巴斯蒂安 - 嘿 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hey.
[02:58.48]摩妮琪刚找你 Monique was looking for you.
[03:01.48]你为什么会找上她做女友 Why do you even date her, anyway?
[03:03.92]她够辣！你不懂男人 She’s hot. It’s a guy thing.
[03:06.00]但她真讨人厌 But she’s so awful.
[03:09.52]喂，你知道你可以用前门 Hey, you know, you could use the front door.
[03:11.48]不能让老妈看到我 And Mom can’t see me.
[03:15.56]她以为我住老爸那里 老爸以为我住这里 She thinks I’m staying at Dad’s. Dad thinks I’m at Mom’s.
[03:18.68]再过几天，他们都以为我去学校了 In two days they both think I’m going away to school.
[03:20.76]- 这就是离婚的好处 - 你要去哪儿？ - That is the beauty of divorce. - Where are you going?
[03:22.12]去伦敦几个礼拜 London for a couple of weeks.
[03:25.92]你指英格兰的伦敦？ As in London, England?
[03:27.40]是啊，我们乐队在音乐节里争取到一个位子 Yeah, my band got a slot in a music festival there.
[03:29.20]那学校怎么办？ OK, what are you gonna do about school?
[03:33.64]没错，我也在想让你帮帮我 Yeah, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that.
[03:36.32]你能不能假扮成老妈 给伊利里亚打电话说我病了 Could you just, like, pretend to be Mom, call Illyria, tell them I’m sick?
[03:41.80]编个能让我躺2个礼拜的病 比如像疯牛病 Something that sounds like it would last for two weeks, like mad cow.
[03:44.32]塞巴斯蒂安 你才因为旷课被康沃尔踢出来 Sebastian, you just got kicked out of Cornwall for skipping.
[03:47.16]你不要一开学又旷！ This is not exactly the way you want to start out.
[03:50.76]上一次我听到的是 他们不想知道什么三角琴 Last time I heard, they don’t need to know trigonometry.
[03:51.56]我要成为音乐家 I want to be a musician.
[03:53.92]再说，如果你要追求梦想 Besides, if you want to chase your dreams,
[03:57.12]有时候就得打破成规，知道吗？ sometimes you gotta break the rules, right?
[03:58.40]你知道乐队成名的机会有多少？ You know the percentage of bands that make it to the big time?
[04:02.20]大概和女足球队员的机率差不多 Probably the same as female soccer players.
[04:06.36]我们两周后见 I will see you in two weeks.
[04:09.24]塞巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
[04:09.24]- 瑟巴斯蒂安！ - 你刚在和你哥哥说话？ - Sebastian! - Were you talking with your brother?
[04:14.40]不。是的 No. Yes.
[04:16.52]电话里。他在老爸那儿。再见，老爸 On the phone. He’s at Dad’s. Bye, Dad.
[04:18.20]想象一下： Picture this:
[04:21.48]我们在乡间俱乐部 We’re at the country club,
[04:22.56]他们报道你的名字， 你穿这身出场 they call your name, and you emerge in this.
[04:30.40]不要，对不起，老妈。 我坚决不穿褶皱衣服 No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy.
[04:35.20]有时候你和你哥真是一副德性 Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother.
[04:42.56]知道吗？ You know what?
[04:46.32]不让加入，那就打败他们 If you can’t join them, beat them.
[04:52.68]你要我把你变成你哥哥？ You want me to turn you into your brother?
[04:54.48]没错。 我假扮塞巴斯蒂安去伊利里亚 That’s right. I’m going to Illyria as Sebastian.
[04:56.16]我会组建自己的足球队 并在12天内打败康沃尔男队 I’ll make the boys soccer team, and in 12 days beat the Cornwall boys team.
[05:00.00]行了，你顶球顶怀脑袋了 You’ve taken too many soccer balls to the head. |