[00:03.44]- Why can’t you be sweet like that, huh? - Sherry! -你的嘴怎么没他这样甜? -雪莉
[00:05.76]- Hey, guys. - Short attention span. -嘿 -注意力瞬间转移
[00:08.80]You’re a sick guy, you know that? 知道吗,你真让人恶心
[00:10.84]Just another in a long line of colossal mistakes. 和她只会是又一次大错特错
[00:15.92]I’m not answering an Internet ad. 我一条广告都没答复
[00:17.72]Look at this. "Voluptuous and sensuous. Must love dogs." wonderful. 看这个,"性感迷人,限爱狗人士",妙不可言
[00:22.08]Look at the picture. 看这照片
[00:26.76]Well, she is appealing. 挺招人喜欢
[00:27.08]She’ll be good-looking when she grows up. 长大后应该很漂亮
[00:29.24]I’m surfing porn sites like always... 我和平时一样上成人网站...
[00:30.84]...I keep getting kicked over to PerfectMatch. Com... ...却总是进到"绝配网"...
[00:35.12]...which is not where I want to be... ...我并不想去那...
[00:37.00]...and this girl’s profile keeps repeating, like a sign from heaven. And I thought of you. ...她的资料总是弹出来, 就象上天的预示,所以想到了你
[00:40.40]Tell the prom queen thanks, but no. I’m still benched. 替我谢谢这位舞会皇后, 可我还在场下休息
[00:42.24]Too late. You’re meeting her at 11. Bring a dog. -晚了,你明天要和她见面,带条狗去 -不,我不去
[00:45.56]No, I’m not.
[01:00.76]It’s okay. 没事
[01:02.04]Stop that growling! 别叫了
[01:03.72]Use your words. 友好点
[01:10.24]Stop, sit. 闭嘴,坐下
[01:11.20]- Stop. Sit. - I don’t think he knows "stop" or "sit." -闭嘴,坐下 -恐怕它不懂"闭嘴"和"坐下"
[01:13.28]- What else have you got? - Bruno, focus. -你不会别的吗? -布鲁诺,注意
[01:16.84]Roll over and play dead. 打个滚,装死
[01:19.64]- Hey, look at that. Look at that. - That’s very impressive. -看这个,看这个 -真有意思
[01:26.64]- You Sarah? - Jake. -你是莎拉? -杰克
[01:27.80]- Yeah, hi. - Yeah. Hi.
[01:33.00]I didn’t recognize you without the cap and gown. 你不戴帽子穿长袍我都没认出来
[01:35.04]Oh, yeah.
[01:39.36]- Yeah. - Yeah.
[01:39.60]- This is really amazing. - Yeah. -这把戏真让人吃惊 -对
[01:46.68]It is. When he plays dead, he really plays dead. 它装死时能真正的装死
[01:48.36]You don’t know the half of it. He can stop his heart like a Sufi mystic. 不止表面象,而且还能停止心跳, 象苏菲派的修行者
[01:50.76]- Does he sleep on a doggy bed of nails? - As a matter of fact, he does. -它也睡在钉床上吗? -不瞒你说,是的
[01:55.64]He feels nothing. Or perhaps he feels too much. 它什么感觉都没有,但也可能感觉很多
[01:59.80]- I think he wants his treat now. - You think so? -现在它大概想要奖励了 -是吗?
[02:03.28]While he’s playing dead? It might ruin the effect. 在装死时?那会破坏效果
[02:04.00]- I don’t know. He’s your dog. - He’s not. He’s my friend charlie’s. -我不知道,它是你的狗 -不,它是我朋友查理的
[02:09.04]- So you’re here under false pretenses. - No, not at all. -那你就是来招摇撞骗了 -不完全是
[02:11.36]You said "must love dogs," not "must own dogs." I do love dogs. 你说要喜欢狗,没说必须有狗, 我确实喜欢狗
[02:15.92]In fact, I had one with my ex. 实际上我离婚前有条狗
[02:19.68]She was allergic, went into anaphylactic shock. 但是她过敏,会导致过敏性休克
[02:20.68]So we had to put her down. Dog. 所以我们只好放弃,是狗...
[02:23.20]Not the wife. I’m kidding about both. 不是我妻子,我是在拿她俩开心
[02:25.36]This is a beautiful canine you have here. 你的狗真漂亮
[02:29.56]- Hi. - Yes, this is Mother Teresa. -嗨 -是啊,它叫"特蕾莎修女"
[02:33.32]Yeah, she plays with lepers? 那它会和麻疯病人玩喽?
[02:37.80]Comforts the poor? Yeah. How long you had her? 给穷人安慰? 你养它有多久了?
[02:41.08]Technically, she’s not really mine. She’s my brother’s. 从名义上说,它不是我的,是我弟弟的
[02:44.04]I’m shocked and saddened. 我很震惊,也很沮丧
[02:46.32]- False pretenses. - Well, we are related. She’s family. -招摇撞骗 -我们有联系,它也是家庭中的一员
[02:52.28]And I do really love dogs, and my ex was allergic also. 而且我确实喜欢狗, 可我前夫也过敏
[02:56.80]Yes, he often had "anaphyphlectic" shock. 真的,他经常会过敏性休克
[02:59.68]You’re making that up. 这是你编的
[03:01.52]- Yes, I am. - Me too. -你说对了 -我也是
[03:04.40]Tell me, I’m just curious about one thing. 有件事我很好奇
[03:08.92]Why did you write "voluptuous"? 你为什么会写"性感"?
[03:12.60]- Oh, my... - No! I did not mean to be rude at all. -哦,老天-- -不,我无意冒犯你
[03:13.48]It’s just that voluptuous, that tends to go the other way... 不过人们通常用这个词时...
[03:16.64]...when someone uses that phrase. ...是另有所指
[03:17.44]Towards the full-figured end of the spectrum. 在外貌修辞中更接近丰满的形象
[03:20.24]I didn’t know there was a full-figured spectrum. 我可不知道什么外貌修辞
[03:24.24]It’s one of those words they use in personal ads... 是人们用于征友广告的词汇...
[03:25.80]...like "Rubenesque" or "weight proportionate to height." ...例如"鲁本斯风格", 或者"体重身高相称"
[03:28.56]Hey, it’s your ad. You can say whatever you want, I’m... 自己的广告,想怎么写都行...
[03:30.64]Just for the record, girl says "athletic," she means "flat-chested." which you’re not. 就经验而言,女人"说喜欢运动" 是指"平胸",当然你不是
[03:37.12]But... This isn’t coming out right. 不过--我不是这意思
[03:40.92]Look, you know, I’m sorry. 听我说,对不起
[03:41.88]I’m... I’m a little nervous. I’m not used to meeting people this way. 我有点紧张, 我不习惯这种结识人的方式
[03:44.40]Really? You seem very practiced and smooth. 是吗?可你表现很老练啊
[03:48.68]- Your ad doesn’t do you justice. - Well, maybe you should rewrite my ad. -你的广告并不贴切 -也许你能替我重写
[03:54.52]- Well, maybe I don’t want to. - And why not? -也许我并不想那样 -为什么?
[03:55.52]Because maybe I don’t want anyone else to answer it. 因为我可能并不希望有其他人回复
[03:58.08]Did you plan on saying that sometime today? 这套说辞你早准备好了吧?
[04:00.76]- No, I didn’t. But it’s good, isn’t it? - It is good. -不,没有,不过还不赖是吧? -确实不赖
[04:05.44]- It’s a good line. - Maybe we should try this over again. -是一句好诗 -也许我们该从头来过
[04:11.20]Hi, I’m Jake. 嗨,我是杰克
[04:12.80]Sarah. 莎拉
[04:14.12]So why would you even write an ad? You don’t seem that desperate. 你干嘛要弄个广告?看起来你并没那么绝望
[04:18.60]Why would you answer one? Talk about desperate. 说到绝望,你又干嘛回复呢?
[04:18.96]I’m not. I mean, I didn’t. It was my friend’s. He gave it to me. 我没有,其实是我朋友代我回复的
[04:22.36]- I didn’t write it. My sister did. - Your sister’s ad. -我也没写,是我姐姐写的 -你姐姐写的?
[04:24.72]Your brother’s dog. Those your shoes? 你弟弟的狗,鞋是你的吗?
[04:27.72]Oh, my. Look at the time! Come on, honey. 老天,看看时间,过来,宝贝
[04:32.48]What I’m trying to say is I’d like to get to know you. 我这么说是因为我想了解你
[04:34.16]I have to get this dog home, and you don’t want to go over on your rental. 我得送狗回家,你大概不急于物归原主
[04:39.24]Maybe we could try this another time. You know, without the dogs. 也许我们能下次再聊,不带狗
[04:42.04]You bet. 当然
[04:44.64]I’ll call you. 我会打电话给你
[04:48.88]Sarah, for the record... 莎拉,老实说...
[04:49.40]...you are kind of voluptuous in a minimalist sort of way. ..."性感"只能最低限度地形容你
[04:59.36]I’m not sure I’m up for this dinner at Dad’s new girlfriend’s house. 我拿不准是否该来爸爸的新女友家吃饭
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