[00:01.16]You a little excited, huh? 哈, 你有点兴奋
[00:06.32]We need flowers, a band, centerpieces, a caterer. The best ones go fast. 我们需要鲜花, 乐队, 装饰物 还有一队备办宴会的人
[00:08.48]We have to get on this. We don't even have a date. 这一切都要去做 我们甚至还没有定好日期
[00:12.20]- Okay, what were you thinking? - June 15th. - Ok, 你想怎样? - 6月15日
[00:14.64]I checked and there's less than an 18 percent chance of precipitation. 我查过了, 下雨的机会低于18%
[00:17.92]Well, June 15th it is. Now, how about bed? 好, 就6月15日 现在上床吧
[00:19.12]I'm sure there's not a 3 a.m. Rush on caterers. 我肯定凌晨3点没人会给你办婚宴
[00:27.48]I mean, the word "wedding" has always turned me into mush. 我是说"婚礼"一词 总是让我神经兮兮
[00:31.52]It's like some ingrained X-chromosome thing. 就像体内有异染色体一样
[00:34.16]I can't help it. My head is spinning in wedding thoughts. 我制止不了 现在满脑子都是婚礼的想法
[00:36.24]Do you think I'm crazy? 是不是觉得我很疯狂?
[00:39.60]Well, besides agreeing to marry me... 除了答应嫁给我之外
[00:43.36]...I see no evidence of you being crazy. 看不出你有疯的迹象
[00:45.40]I promise, after the wedding I'll go back to being good old level-headed Sam. 我保证婚礼后一定会 把原来那个冷静的Sam还给你
[00:49.04]I just want it exactly right. 我只是想一切顺利
[00:52.72]- It'll be perfect. - Here it comes. - 会顺利的 - 又来了
[00:53.32]- Sam, I promise. - Classic groom mistake. - Sam, 我保证 - 典型的王子形象
[00:59.68]Being engaged is like having all of your feelings dropped into a blender... 订婚就像把所有感觉 都放到搅拌机里面
[01:04.96]...and then someone hits "mix" before you put the top on. 还没有放好盖子 就有人打开开关了
[01:08.80]It's the most bizarre mixture of pure joy, total dread, and gunk. 这是一种非常复杂的感觉 既有单纯的快乐, 也有恐惧
[01:09.16]See? 看到没有?
[01:16.40]Speaking of dread, it's time I told you about my mother. 说到恐惧 现在谈一下我妈妈吧
[01:20.44]My early memories of her are great. 开始她给我的感觉棒极了
[01:22.16]My younger sister Anne and I were the luckiest girls in the world. 我和妹妹Anne简直就是 这个世上最幸福的孩子
[01:31.88]But as we got older, it became clear that things changed. 但随着我们长大 情况开始变了
[01:38.04]You know that saying, "You can't have a favorite child"? 听过"不要生一个人见人爱的孩子"吗?
[01:40.76]Well, don't believe it. 算了, 别理它
[01:45.08]I remember this. 我却记住了
[01:46.28]We took a cross-country road trip when I was 16. 16岁的时候我们去乡间旅行
[01:54.24]Notice something? 注意到没有?
[01:59.52]And it only got worse. 而且还会变坏
[02:05.92]All of you worked tirelessly... 你们学习非常勤奋
[02:08.56]Anne, I know that you'll be valedictorian. Anne, 我相信你会成为 致告别词的学生代表
[02:11.36]Okay, okay, she didn't really say that. Ok ok, 她没有这样说过
[02:13.16]But it felt like she did. 但我觉得她会
[02:16.84]And, by the way, Anne was valedictorian. 无论怎么说 Anne的确成为了学生代表
[02:18.32]And it's kind of ridiculous... 真有点难以置信
[02:20.80]...but Anne has more awards than most girls have shoes. Anne得到的奖项比大部分 女孩拥有的鞋子还要多
[02:24.56]And although I can't resent her luck or talent or whatever... 因为我不能抱怨她的幸运 或者才智, 或者是其它什么...
[02:31.72]...I can resent my mother only noticing her. 只能抱怨妈妈只重视她
[02:36.12]Hey, Sammy. 嘿, Sammy
[02:37.12]- Hi! - Congratulations, you. - Hi! - 恭喜你
[02:41.16]Thank you. 谢谢
[02:43.16]So one guy for the rest of your life, huh? 你终于找到另一半了
[02:45.12]I mean, how do you know? How does he not get on your nerves? 我是说:你知道吗 他是怎样触动你的神经?
[02:45.36]That is crazy. 太棒了
[02:49.00]I don't know. I love him. 不知道, 我爱他
[02:53.32]- I'll stick with sex for now. - Paging Dr. Cynic. - 我也要性爱 - 找Cynic博士吧
[02:57.60]- Hi, Mom! - Hello, darling. - Hi, 妈妈! - 亲爱的
[02:58.96]- Sammy, Sammy. - Hey. - Sammy, Sammy - 嘿
[02:59.08]Congratulations. My little girl. 恭喜, 我的小宝贝
[03:04.92]- Do you want a beer? - Thanks, but no thanks, Dad. - 要点啤酒吗? - 谢谢爸爸, 不用了
[03:06.40]- Champagne at the wedding, I promise. - All right. - 我保证婚礼上要喝香槟 - 好的
[03:11.28]- What is all this stuff? - Research, dear. - 这些是什么? - 研究一下
[03:13.96]Invitations, programs, menus, favors. 请柬, 节目表, 菜谱
[03:15.20]I've been to five weddings in the last year... 我去年参加了5个婚礼
[03:18.28]...and I will not allow yours to be outshone by anyone's. 我不会让你的婚礼 比他们任何一个差
[03:19.24]The Tomlinsons had an awful chicken parmesan at Wendy's wedding. Tomlinson他们在Wendy的婚礼上 给鸡肉用了劣等调料
[03:25.20]- Whatever you do, do not use that caterer. - Listen to your sister. - 无论如何都不能请他们操办婚宴 - 听听你妹妹说的
[03:26.52]You learn from other people's disasters. 你应该从其他人的 悲剧中得到启发
[03:28.80]These are not disasters. They're weddings. 这不是悲剧, 是婚礼!
[03:33.08]You know, Sammy, you didn't taste their chicken. Sammy, 你应该尝一下那些鸡肉
[03:37.92]So I thought you guys might wanna hear about the proposal. 你们应该听一下我的安排
[03:40.52]Oh, of course, honey. 当然了, 亲爱的
[03:40.80]But first, wait, wait. I almost forgot. I got you a present. 等等, 差点忘记 我给你买了份礼物
[03:48.80]It's a comprehensive overview of everything you'll need to know. 这里面有你想知道的一切
[03:49.24]Mom stopped being subtle a long time ago. 妈妈很久没有这样关心过我了
[03:56.44]因为我知道你自以为 明白在干些什么
[03:56.84]- Thanks. - You're welcome. (婚姻扫盲)
[03:59.48]You don't. 其实并不明白
[04:00.28]Look at the dress. 看看这礼服
[04:06.04]Why'd you screw it up? You had six months of nookie-liciousness left. 干嘛选择结婚? 你应该再玩几个月才对
[04:10.64]I don't think that way, Alan. It was just time. 我不这样认为 是时候了
[04:11.52]- Don't you remember being single? - Oh, yeah. - 你忘记单身生活了吗? - 噢
[04:15.92]Those are the good old days. 那些日子不错啊
[04:18.32]I mean, fun when you're a kid... 小时候觉得还不错
[04:20.36]...but, man, when I met Sam, it changed. 长大后, 当我遇到Sam后 就不这样认为了
[04:23.76]I didn't feel the need to look anymore. 我现在不用四处狩猎了
[04:25.64]I was suddenly happy staying home just hanging out with her, you know? 现在最想做的事就是 和她在家温存
[04:28.32]It's nice. 爽死了
[04:31.28]I'm gonna throw up. 我也要结婚
[04:34.28]Oh, my God, it's so beautiful! 天啊, 漂亮呆了!
[04:39.60]He wouldn't show it to me. Oh, look at it. 他没给我看过 噢, 让我再看看
[04:42.16]- I'm gonna need that back. - Sorry, sorry. - 我要收回来了 - 对不起, 对不起
[04:45.72]I had forgotten how heavy wedding magazines are. 这些婚姻杂志不知有多重
[04:49.68]That's okay. You'll have Jennifer Garner arms. 好了, 你会比Jennifer Garner(夜魔侠 女主角)还要受欢迎的
[04:53.00]At least I won't have to hide these things under my mattress anymore. 至少不用把这些东西 藏到床底下
[04:56.28]And, of course, I would love for you to be one of my bridesmai... 我会让你当伴... |