(2008-11-04 09:26:14)

　　生活中绝大部分的开口说话都是在非正式场合。除了正经八百的商务会谈，你会跟老外闲聊侃大山吗？Small talk skills are not so easy to handle. Don't worry; you are going to learn how to be sociable by developing small talk skills.

　　Small Talk 闲谈交流

　　Small talk is light conversation on unimportant or non-serious subjects. What make small talk small are both its duration and its focus.

　　想想看，哪些场合需要闲聊？

　　People will probably make small talk:

　　At various parties (such as a cocktail party, a birthday or dancing party, etc.) and gatherings;

　　When one runs into someone in the street;

　　When one greets somebody at various occasions;

　　During a meal, etc.

　　单纯的一问一答式的对话称不上闲聊。那么对话真的索然无味了。

　　A: That was delicious soup!

　　B: Thank you.

　　但是如果变成如下的样子，对话是不是就有进行下去的可能了？

　　A: That was delicious soup!

　　B: Thank you. (Would you like some more?)

　　可见，如果你说的话仅仅以"thank you"来结尾，别人是很难将对话进行下去的。 If additional information is provided, it will become easier for the person or others to explore or elaborate (详细述说) on the raised topic.

　　让闲聊继续的另一个技巧就是：using expressions showing attention, understanding, agreement, interest or surprise。我们提供了如下用语：

　　a) Yes, they're lovely, aren't they?

　　b) Really!

　　c) You're right.

　　d) I'm afraid so!

　　e) Of course!

　　f) Yes!

　　最后，我们来看另一段餐桌上的闲聊。仔细体会这段闲聊是如何展开和延续的。

　　A: This cake is delicious! I think it must contain some mystery ingredients!

　　B: Thank you. It's nothing special, really--I just added a glass of milk to the old recipe. Would you like some more?

　　A: Yes, please.

　　B: Let me take your plate.

　　A: Thank you. You know what; I always find it difficult to follow a recipe when cooking dishes. The recipe is more confusing than helpful.

　　B: It is sometimes. But I should say it is a good idea to follow it when you try a new dish, then throw it away when you are on your way.

　　A: That's quite true. You can come up with your own recipe once you feel confident.

　　B: Exactly. Could you pass me the salt, please?

　　A: Certainly! So, you live far from here?

　　B: Yes, in those new quarters downtown.

　　A: There is a great restaurant up there. Have you been there yet?

　　B: No, but I hear they have great food.

　　A: Maybe we could meet there sometime?

　　B: I'd love to! (Hopefully)

　　A: Good idea. Help yourself to the beef.

　　Safe Topics 安全话题

　　Small talk is a brief discussion of a neutral and relatively insignificant topic. Below is a list of generally safe topics as well as conversational territories to avoid. 为了避免冷场，闲聊在许多场合下都是必要的，而关键问题就是何时开口以及说些什么。

　　Some locations--such as office hallways, elevator corridors, and equipment rooms--easily lend themselves to small talk. Certain times of day--such as arrival or departure from the office or the time before a meeting begins--provide small talk opportunities as well. 有些地方十分适合闲聊：比如公司走廊，电梯通道和设备间。而某些时候也是非常合适闲聊的：比如会前，到达和离开公司的路上。

　　下表中提供了一些用于闲聊的安全话题以及闲聊应该避免的话题。

　　SAFE TOPICS 安全话题 TOPICS TO AVOID 应避免的话题

　　Weather 天气 Your Health 你的健康状况

　　Traffic 交通 Other's Health 他人的健康状况

　　Sports 体育 Cost of items, Income 物品的价格、收入

　　Non-Controversial Current Events, such as The Oscars 不会引起争议的时事，如奥斯卡奖 Personal Misfortunes 个人的不幸

　　Travel 旅行 Stories of Questionable Taste 品味不高的故事

　　Environmental Issues 环保问题 Dirty Jokes 不雅的笑话

　　Favorable Comments Regarding the Meeting Place or City 对会面地点或城市的赞美之词 Gossip 闲言碎语

　　Common Experiences 交谈双方共同的经历 Religion 宗教信仰

　　Books 书 Highly Controversial Issues such as Abortion or Flag-Burning 颇有争议的话题，如堕胎或烧毁国旗The Arts 艺术

　　Intimate Details About Your Personal Life 私生活细节

　　生活不是剧本，你无法预测将要发生什么以及将要说些什么。但是，你应该做个有准备的人。都准备些什么呢？给你一条建议：Read at least one newspaper a day and several magazines a month to keep abreast of current events. It's an especially good idea to read the local newspapers of any cities you visit. Observe the world around you. A traffic jam, new buildings under construction and the opening of an art exhibit are all possible topics. 通过报刊与世界连通，你就始终拥有取之不尽的谈资。

　　最后，给你提供一些用于闲聊的安全的开场白：

　　1. If you are observing what is going on around you, keep it upbeat. 保持乐观的心态观察你身边的人和事。

　　"This is a wonderful party. Everyone is having a good time."

　　"This conference is well-attended. It seems to draw from a large geographical area."

　　2. Use an open-ended question to encourage a response. 利用开放性的提问吸引对方的回答。

　　"How did you manage dealing with the traffic today?"

　　"What type of work do you do?"

　　"How do you know our host?"

　　3. Offer a pleasant self-revelation. 表露自己高兴的情绪。

　　"I just started going to graduate school."

　　"This is my first time at an annual conference."

　　4. Ask general questions. 问一些大众问题。

　　"Where are you from?"

　　"Do you play sports?"

　　Start Conversations 发起谈话

　　Starting conversations can be the most difficult part of small talk. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is. An opening line can get you past the initial awkward moments when you first meet someone. 万事开头难，找个话题开头亦如是。与人闲聊，尤其是和陌生人在一起的时候，该如何得体地打破起初沉默的僵局呢？

　　你可以说：

　　Hi! A nice party, isn't it?

　　Hi, I'm John, what's your name?

　　I say, aren't you …?

　　Hi, haven't we met somewhere before?

　　Excuse me, I hear you are a …

　　So, how do you know…? (You mention the name of a guest)?

　　I hope you don't mind my asking, but …

　　我们可以称呼这些开场白的句子为："openers", "starters", "generators" or "icebreakers"等等。

　　开场白的注意事项：

　　A simple introduction, nothing special.

　　Try not to interrupt someone who is already talking. If someone is already talking to the person, wait for him/her to finish.

　　Start a conversation based on the circumstances.

　　Don't talk about depressing issues or sad events.

　　Find common ground（共同点）. Use simple probing（引起疑问的） questions that are related to things you are interested in.

　　Questions which have "yes/no" answers are not the best conversation openers.

　　A comment about a current event can also break the ice, as well as a remark about the event you're at the time.

　　闲聊开场白的典型例句： Expressions to start a conversation:

　　Hi! A nice party, isn't it? 这晚会不错，是吗？

　　Hi, haven't we met somewhere before? 嗨，我们以前在哪儿见过，不是吗？

　　So, how do you know Chris? 那你是怎么认识Chris的？

　　I hope you don't mind my asking, but I want to know if you are the person I saw last time. 我希望你不介意，但我想知道你是不是上次我见过的那个人？

　　So, how about you, Liu? 那么你呢，刘？

　　Closing Topics 结束交谈

　　Do you find that your English conversations end rather suddenly? Is there anything we can say before "goodbye" to indicate that we would like to stop talking? The ability to close topics is a very useful but difficult skill.

　　闲聊中突然蹦出“再见”二字是不是很突兀？那么我们可以说些什么来暗示想要结束闲聊呢？

　　先来看一段Emily和William的对话：

　　Emily: And then I'm gonna fly back five and a half weeks later...

　　William: A changed person--

　　Emily: Hopefully...

　　William: You'll come back here, you'll have shaved your head or something. I don't know something completely...

　　Emily: So who knows what will come, what will happen when I come back, but erm...anyway, so hopefully it will at least be a holiday and I'll get nice weather...hopefully...so...but erm...

　　William: Do you know any of the people that you're going to be with?

　　Emily: No, I don't. I don't know anyone, erm, yes. So, I guess I'd better go back to work.

　　William: Ok...erm--

　　Emily: I've got loads to do...

　　William: Oh right. Well, it's nice talking to you.

　　Emily: Thank you very much.

　　William: And I'll see you downstairs.

　　Emily: Yeah.

　　William: So, bye.

　　Emily和William在说有关holiday的话题。闲聊中，Emily似乎想结束谈话，于是她使用了"so"，"anyway"和"but"作为暗示。但是显然William没有领会她的意图，以至于继续发问，结果Emily不得不use a stronger method of closing the topic。She said that she had to go back to work--she had loads to do. 这时已经再明显不过，Emily不想再继续谈话了。

　　小结：你可以用如下技巧暗示对方结束对话

　　Give your final opinion about the topic;

　　Summarize what has already been said;

　　Lead to you saying "goodbye".

　　典型例句：

　　But, we shall see if it makes a difference... Anyway, I must be off!

　　So, it's something, anyway, to look forward to...

　　Well anyway, it's lovely talking to you, but I must get on...

　　Right... well... I guess I'd better get back.