[00:01.86]Yeah. I'll see you there. 好 到时见
[00:05.54]Okay, take care. Peace. 保重 拜拜
[00:09.50]Oh, shit. 完了
[00:10.98]I'm gonna get laid, motherfucker! 有人约我上床啦
[00:16.46]Yes! Yes! 爽!
[00:17.94]Nice place, huh? Yeah, it's really nice. 不错的地方 对吧? 恩 挺漂亮的
[00:21.02]Sorry it took so long to get a table. I didn't realize you needed a reservation. 抱歉这么久才等到桌子 没想到要预订
[00:24.98]So how's work? Great. 工作如何? 很好
[00:25.38]Oh, no, that's okay. 哦 没事的
[00:27.58]How's E!? Great. E!频道呢? 很好
[00:29.38]That's awesome. Do you know Vince Vaughn? 太棒了 你认识文斯 沃恩吗?
[00:29.94]Have you ever met him? No. 见过他吗? 没有
[00:32.26]I really feel like we'd get along well. I just... 我真的觉得可以和他成为好朋友
[00:33.78]He seems like a fun guy. 他看上去满有趣的
[00:34.54]I feel like we'd, like, hang together well. Mmmhmm. 我觉得我们会...很玩得来 恩
[00:36.30]I feel like he'd like me. 我觉得他会喜欢我的
[00:37.70]I'm sure a lot of guys are like, "Oh, I'd like to hang out with that celeb", 很多人会觉得"噢 我喜欢和那明星出去玩
[00:40.98]but I really think he would want to hang out with me, is like the cool thing. 但我觉得是他喜欢和我去玩 会很有趣的
[00:43.98]I'm sure he would. Yeah. 我肯定他会喜欢你的
[00:45.74]You look very pretty, though. Thanks. 你很漂亮 谢谢
[00:47.94]I don't know, I thought maybe it'd be cool 不知怎么说 我觉得我俩偶尔
[00:48.34]By the way. Yeah, I just thought... 顺便提一句 是啊 我只是觉得...
[00:50.66]to hang out a little bit and... 出来玩玩也不错 还有就是...
[00:52.46]We didn't really get to talk that much last time, so I thought... 上次没怎么谈过 所以我觉得...
[00:55.30]That we didn't. 的确没有
[00:55.82]I thought maybe we'd just talk and get to know each other better. 我觉得我们该好好谈谈 加深了解
[01:00.46]Cool. Okay. 当然好了
[01:02.74]I'll start. I'm Canadian. Oh, that's cool. 我先开始吧 我是加拿大人 哦 不错啊
[01:05.02]From Vancouver. I live here illegally, actually. 来自温哥华 其实我是非法居住者
[01:07.74]Don't tell anyone. 别告诉别人
[01:09.42]But it works out in my advantage, I think, ultimately, 但最后我发现 这也算是我的优势
[01:12.18]'cause I don't have to pay any taxes. 因为我不用交税
[01:14.58]So financially that's helpful 在经济上这很有帮助
[01:19.06]'cause I don't have a lot of money. 因为我没什么钱
[01:20.46]You know, I mean, I'm not poor or anything, 我是说 我不是穷 或什么的
[01:21.50]but I eat a lot of spaghetti. 但我平时几乎只能吃上面
[01:25.42]So, you know, the web page or whatever is just something that you guys do for fun? 那除了你们做着好玩的网站外
[01:29.60]Well, that is our job. Oh. 呃 那就是我们的工作 噢
[01:30.90]Do you have a real job? 你有正经点的工作吗?
[01:34.18]We don't technically get money for the hours we put in, 虽然没从中得到任何收入
[01:34.98]but it is our job. 但这个就是我们的工作
[01:37.98]So, how do you... Right. How do I pay rent and shit? 那你怎样... 我怎样付房租之类的?
[01:39.62]When I was in high school, I got ran over by a postal truck. 我上中学的时候 曾被一个邮政车撞倒过
[01:41.50]It was my foot more than anything. 我的脚受了伤
[01:42.54]Oh, my God. It just kind of... 天啊 有点儿...
[01:45.54]But I got like 14 grand from the British Columbia government. 但是我从政府那里 拿到了一万四的赔偿金
[01:49.98]Right. And that really lasted me. 这样啊 那些钱一直维持着我的生活
[01:50.54]It's been almost 10 years. I have like 900 bucks left. 将近10年了 我还剩900块呢
[01:50.90]I mean, until now. 直到现在
[01:53.58]So that should last me for, like, I mean, I'm not a mathematician, 所以估计还能撑... 我不是个数学家
[01:55.94]but like another two years or some shit. I think. 但我觉得维持个... 两年还是没什么问题的
[01:59.94]Yeah. 是啊
[02:01.62]So I have something I really need to tell you. 我有点事得告诉你
[02:03.78]It's kind of why I called you. 这也是我找你的原因
[02:06.98]I'm pregnant. 我怀孕了
[02:07.46]Here goes. Um... 我要说啦 恩...
[02:10.14]What? I'm pregnant. 什么? 我怀孕了
[02:14.94]With emotion? 你孕育出了对我的感情?
[02:15.10]With a baby. You're the father. 孕育出了小孩 你是父亲
[02:18.02]I'm the father? Yes. 我是孩子的父亲? 对
[02:21.30]How the fuck could this happen? I don't know. 这他妈的是怎么回事? 我不知道
[02:21.70]I don't know. I mean, I thought you were wearing a condom. 我不知道 我还以为你戴套了
[02:23.98]No. What? 没有啊 什么?
[02:25.78]I wasn't. Why not? 我没戴 为什么没有?
[02:26.06]Because you told me not to. 因为你要我别戴
[02:28.38]What are you talking about? 你讲什么疯话呢?
[02:31.42]What am I talking about? You told me not to. 我说疯话? 是你叫我别戴的
[02:33.02]I did not tell you not to wear a condom. 我没有叫你不戴套
[02:34.14]Here's what happened, okay? 当时是这样的
[02:35.98]I will give you a playbyplay of my memory. 我一步步说给你听
[02:37.10]I almost had the condom on my dick. 那时我差不多戴上套了
[02:41.18]It was on the cusp, and then you said, "Just do it, already." 已经戴到上面了 然后你说"快啊"
[02:41.86]I didn't mean do it without a condom. 我不是让你不戴套
[02:44.58]I meant "do it" like "hurry up," 我的意思是"快点戴好它"
[02:45.82]like "Get fucking going!" 是让你他妈的别磨蹭了
[02:47.74]Well, I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a dental dam 呃 我以为你有避孕贴布
[02:48.90]or one of those fucking butterfly clips or something like that. 或口腔保护膜之类的
[02:52.62]What the hell is a dental dam? It's like Saran Wrap! - 口腔保护膜是什么鬼东西啊? - 事后不会怀孕的!
[02:53.98]It's disgusting, okay? But I thought you had one. 虽然很恶心 但我以为你做好了
[02:57.46]Why the fuck didn't you stop me once we started? 刚开始时你干鸟不阻止我?
[02:59.34]I don't know! I couldn't tell that you didn't have one on! 我怎么知道 我不知你到底有没有戴!
[03:00.18]Obviously, I was drunk! 很明显我喝醉了!
[03:02.82]Did you think it's the thinnest condom on earth I have on? 你还以为我戴的 是世界上最薄的套吗?
[03:03.34]Was your vagina drunk? 你阴部也喝醉了吗?
[03:05.34]I'm a fucking inventor? I made a dickskin condom? 我像个性爱发明家? 我发明了个鸡巴皮做的保险套?
[03:10.30]He hollowed out a penis and put it on? 把皮扒下来然后戴上?
[03:12.10]What the fuck? 我操
[03:14.50]You are unbelievable. 你真是不可理喻
[03:17.34]Okay, you know what? Maybe I've reacted unfavorably. 好吧 也许我反应过激了
[03:22.70]So what happens now? I don't know how this works. 那现在怎么办? 我不知该怎么处理这种情况
[03:25.98]I am going to the doctor next week, 下星期我去看医生
[03:29.98]and I thought you could come with me to the gynecologist. 希望你和我一起去看妇科医生
[03:31.06]So you haven't seen him, though? No. - 那就是说你还没去看过了? - 没有
[03:35.02]Well, I'm not 100% sure. You're not 100% sure. - 恩 我不是100%确定 - 你不是100%确定
[03:35.14]So you don't know if you're pregnant. 那你就不知道到底是不是怀孕咯
[03:38.74]I bet you're not pregnant. 我打赌你没有怀孕
[03:45.50]No, they're not. 他们不是
[03:48.50]No, they're all in the bag. They're in the bag. 不 他们都在袋子里
[03:59.58]Allison Scott? 艾丽森 斯考特
[04:01.90]Yeah. Come on. 到我们了 来
[04:02.46]I'm supposed to come? Yes. - 我也要来 - 对
[04:09.14]Hello. My name is Thomas Pellagrino. 你们好 我叫托马斯 帕拉戈雷诺
[04:12.60]Hi, there, champ. Nice to meet you. 你好呀 很高兴见到你
[04:14.02]I'm... I'm Ben Stone. 我...我叫本 斯通
[04:15.10]And you must be Debbie's sister. Yeah. - 那你一定是黛比的妹妹了 - 恩
[04:18.10]Hi. How are you? Good. - 嗨 还好吗? - 恩
[04:19.02]Alice. Allison. Hi. - 艾丽丝 - 是艾丽森 你好
[04:19.98]So, what can I help you with today, Mr. And Mrs. Stone? 那么 斯通先生和斯通太太 需要我为你们效劳些什么?
[04:26.34]I took a home pregnancy test, and it said I was pregnant, 我在家用了测孕棒 上面说我怀孕了
[04:27.22]so here we are. 然后我们就来了
[04:31.10]Okay. Let's have a look. 好吧 来检查一下
[04:36.10]Legs up. 腿抬起来
[04:42.54]Nice office. 办公室不错
[04:44.74]Thank you. 谢谢
[04:49.62]Well, you do look a lot like your sister. 恩 你看上去好像你姐姐
[04:55.14]This is gonna be cold. And you're next. 这个会有点儿凉 下个轮到你 |