英语听力:神秘及幻想故事集 04.William Wilson(在线收听) |
William Wilson
william Wilson is not my name.But I shall use it in this story because my real name is too well known, too hated in every corner of the world. My evil crimes have made sure of that.And as the day of my death comes nearer,I feel the need to write, to explain to you how my life of crime began.
Most men become evil slowly.They start with little crimes and then move on to bigger ones.But I am different.I moved into real crime with just one big step.Has any man lived a life as evil as mine? But now, the shadow of death fills me with fear;day and night I have the most terrible dreams.Perhaps someone, somewhere, will feel sorry for me.Listen to my story… I was a wild and excitable child.My parents worried about me and often tried to punish me, but they never succeeded in changing me.I refused to obey them and I never followed any orders that they gave me.I wanted to be free so I listened only to myself.The first school that I can remember was a large and very old house in a small, quiet English village.As I write,I can sill feel the coolness of the shadowy gardens near the house. I can smell the sweetness of the flowers and hear the deep sound of the church bells as they rang every hour. These feelings give me some moments of happiness as I sit here in black misery, waiting for death.In fact,it is here,in this school,that my story really begins… The school building was large and dd.The big gardens were closed in by a high wall,with broken glass at the top,just like a prison.We only went out three times a week.On Saturday afternoons we took a walk in some fields near the school,under the watchful eye of one of our teachers.On Sundays we went out twice,morning and evening,to go to the village church.
I was not bored or unhappy during my life at school.Children can amuse themselves very easily,and in my imagination,I lived an exciting life,full of mystery and interest.But in the real world,the days were always the same-we woke up and went to bed,we walked in the fields and played in the play-ground…The playground was,indeed,a very special place.It was a place where friends were made and lost,a place always full of trouble and excitement.
I was the kind of boy who liked to give orders,not to take them.I always wanted to win every game,every fight,and to be first in everything.All the other boys,even those a bit older than myself,were happy to follow and obey me.All,that is,except one.His name was the same as mine,so I shall call him William William,too.We were not from the same family,but we both had the same name.This was not surprising because my name was not an unusual one.
This William Wilson refused to obey me.He argued with me, both in class and in the playground,and tried to stop the other boys from following me.Actually,I think I was the only boy who realized what he was doing.He did everything very cleverly and silently, and in this way nobody really noticed it.But I-I noticed what he did,and I was frightened by it.I was afraid that Wilson was stronger than I was.I became worried and angry when I saw the other boys follow him instead of me.But Wilson was always cool and calm.Nothing ever troubled him.He seemed to want one thing only-to see me fright-ened and unhappy.But at the same time I sometimes noticed that he showed a friendliness towards me-which was most unwelcome to me.It is difficult for me to describe my feelings towards Wilson.I didn't hate him,but neither did I like him.I think that,more than anything,I felt afraid of him.At the same time I wanted to know more about him.I wanted to find something that frightened or worried him.But I could find nothing.There was nothing strange in the way he looked or walked.Nothing,that is,except for one thing-his voice.His voice was strange.When he spoke,he could never speak loudly.In fact, he never spoke above a whisper.
Wilson was quick to find the one thing that I really did not like.It was my name.Although I come from an old and famous family,my name is a very everyday one.It could belong to any unimportant workman.I had always hated my name, but now I hated it even more because both of us had the same name.I heard it twice as often.And there was something that worried me even more deeply.We seemed to look alike as well.We were as tall as one another,we were both thin,and even our faces were alike.Because our names were the same,I knew that the older boys thought that we were brothers, but nobody seemed to notice that we looked alike.But Wilson noticed it and he also saw that I was angry about it.Nothing ever escaped him.He always knew my deepest feelings.After a while he started to dress like me,and even to walk like me.Luckily,he could not speak like me when I spoke loudly,but when I spoke in a whisper,his whisper was just like mine.All these things troubled me deeply.I could see that Wilson enjoyed making me angry,and he used to laugh at me secretly.Strangely, the other boys never noticed how he made fun of me,and copied me in every way.I was the only one who noticed it.
Very often he used to give me advice,telling me quietly what I should do or what I should say.I hated him even more when he did this.Today,of course, I realize that his advice was always very good and sensible.What a pity that I never followed it!
As time went by,I became more and more angry with him.Why should he,or anyone, give me advice?My feelings towards him changed and I actually began to hate him.He noticed this and tried not to come near me so much.
One day,towards the end of my fifth year at school we had a violent argument.While we were arguing, he showed his feelings more openly than usual,and a very strange idea came into my mind.I thought-how can I describe it?-I thought just for a second or two that I had known him before,a long,long time ago,when we were very young children.It was,as I say,a strange and very stupid idea,and I forgot it as quickly as I could.
But that night,when every one was asleep,I got out of bed.Then I walked through the dark building,with a small lantern in my hands,until I reached Wilson's room.I left the lantern outside and went near to his bed.Yes,he was a sleep.I returned to get my lantern and went back to his bed.I had planned to do something cruel to him while he slept.But as I looked at the sleeping boy,my heart beat faster and I was filled with fear.Was this really what William Wilson looked like? Did he look just the same when he was awake?I knew that he was as tall as I was.I knew,too,that he walked like me and talked like me,and copied me in every way that he could.But was it possible that the person in that bed looked so like me in every way?I began to shake with fear,and my body turned ice-cold.Surely he couldn't look like this!Was I really looking at a boy who was not just a copy of me,but…
I was more frightened than I had ever been in my life.I went silently out of his room,left the school building and never returned there again. After several lazy months at home,I was sent to Eton,one of the most famous English bys' schools.There,I soon forgot William Wilson and the strange fears I had felt.If I thought about them at all, I used to laugh at myself. My life at Eton lasted for three wild and evil years.I learnt to be clever and secret,and was interested only in new ways of amusing myself.I chose the worst kind of students for my friends,and spent all my time in evil enjoyment.One night,when I was in my third year,I invited some students to a party in my rooms.We drank and played cards all through the night.As well as the wine, we had other, perhaps more dangerous,Pleasures.As the first morning light started to appear,I suggested a new evil amusement. Then I noticed that somebody was opening my door and I heard a servant's voice, ‘There's somebody outside who wants to speak to you,sir.He seems to be in a hurry.’
I walked, with difficulty, to the hall, as I was feeling very drunk with the wine.It was still too dark to see clearly,but I could just see the shape of a young man.He was as tall as I was, and was wearing the same clothes as myself. I could not see his face.
He came up to me and whispered the words‘William Wilson!’ in my ear.I knew the voice at once.It was impossible to mistake it.Those two words were enough to fill me with fear.Before I could look into his face, he had disappeared. The meeting only lasted a few seconds, but for some weeks I could not forget it.I thought of it all the time.Who and what was this william Wilson? Where did he come from? What did he want from me?My questions stayed unanswered, but I did discover one thing.I learnt that William Wilson had left my last school on the same day that I myself had run away from it. Soon I forgot about him again,and not long afterwards I went up to Oxford University.My parents were not sensible people and they always gave me a lot of money.I was able to live a fashionable, expensive life, and to choose as my friends the sons of the richest families of England.There was nothing at all to stop me now.I spent my money wildly, and passed my days and nights in dangerous and exciting pleasures. At Oxford I spent a lot of my time gambling.I became,in fact,a most clever and successful gambler-no better than a thief.I played cards in order to win money from the other students and become even richer.Of course, I was careful to play only with students who were bad at playing cards.In this way I could be sure of winning every time.My friends were not clever enough to see what I was doing.
In my second year at University I met a new student called Glendinning.He came from an old English family and was one of the richest students in the university.I soon realized that he was very unintelligent and because of this he was,of course,a very suitable person for me to gamble with!I started to play cards with him often,and for some time I made sure that he always won.
At last I decided that the time was right and I made my plans carefully.I met Glendinning at the rooms of a friend of mine,a Mr.Preston(who had no idea of my secret plan).Eight or ten other friends were also invited.In this way Glendinning had no idea that I planned to gamble with him that evening.In fact,at the party,it was he who first suggested playing cards.
We played for many long hours.In the end,by my careful plan,I was playing alone against Glendinning,while the others watched our game.Glendinning had drunk a lot of wine during the evening and his hands were beginning to shake a little-from fear or from the wine,I wasn't sure.He had already lost a large amount of money.Then he did what I had hoped for.He took another long drink of wine and said, ‘Let's double the stakes.’Beginners always think they can win back what they have lost in this way.
At first I pretended to refuse.Then he became angry,so,naturally,I had to agree.My plan was working excellently.We continued playing,and in less than an hour my winnings were four times as big.Glendinning's face was now as white as a sheet.Everyone around the table started talking, and to my surprise I heard the words,‘That's the end of Glendinning.He's just lost everything he had!’
I had heard that Glendinning was very rich indeed-rich enough to lose a lot of money and not to worry about it.Now,I understood from the whispers around the table,that this was not true.I had,in fact,won everything he owned,and so destroyed him.Nobody spoke.Glendinning had covered his face with his hands and everyone clearly felt very sorry for him.Even I began to feel a little worried,and wondered what I should do.
As we stood in silence,the doors suddenly opened and a strong wind filled the room.It blew out all the candles in the room and we were left in darkness.But in the few seconds before the candles went out,we noticed that a man had entered the room.He was about as tall as I was,and his face and body were hidden by a long cloak.As we stood in the darkness,we could feel him standing in the room.
Then he began to speak.He spoke in a whisper,and his voice filled me with fear.‘Gentlemen,’he said.‘I am here because I have something important to tell you.I am afraid that you do not really know the man who has just won so much money from Glendinning.Let me tell you how to learn more about him.Please look very carefully inside his left sleeve and at the several little packets inside the large pockets of his jacket.’Immediately after these words he left the room,as silently as he had entered it.
That moment was one of the worst moments of my life.I had no time to do anything.My friends fell on me angrily,lit the candles again,and searched my clothes.They found the single cards hidden carefully inside my left sleeve,and in my pockets they discovered the packets of special cards which helped me to win every game I played.
My friends stood around me in a circle and looked at me in silence.Mr.Preston then picked up a cloak from the floor.‘Mr.Wilson,’he said.‘Here is your cloak. You will,I hope,leave my room,and then leave Oxford immediately.’
I wanted to hit him,but something stopped me.It was the cloak that Preston was holding in his hands.Although it looked like my cloak,I knew that it wasn't,because my own cloak was already over my left arm.It was a very unusual and expensive cloak,which a shop had made specially for me.How was it possible that there was now another cloak just like it?
I thought back to the moment when the stranger had come into the room.Yes,he had been wearing a cloak too… Full of fear,I quickly took the cloak from Mr.Preston and left the room.The next morning I left Oxford and escaped to Europe.I was now known to be a cheat at cards and every door in England would be closed against me.
But bad luck travelled with me.In fact I soon realized that my troubles at Oxford had been only the beginning… Soon after I arrived in Paris,I met William Wilson again.There,too,he destroyed my evil hopes.Everywhere I went, year after year,he appeared like a ghost and came between me and my plans.In Rome he stopped me from getting what I wanted.In Vienna,too-in Berlin,and even in Moscow!Wasn't there anywhere where I could be left alone?I went from city to city,trying to escape from him.But I couldn't feel free.I couldn't be alone.He followed me everywhere. Again and again I used to ask myself these questions.‘Who is he?Where does he come from?What does he want from me?’But I could find no answer.I thought deeply about all the times when I had seen him.In every city,I realized,Wilson had done the same thing.He had not stopped my plans all the time,but only when they were evil and dangerous,either to others or to myself.I understood all this,but still I was very angry.Why couldn't Wilson leave me alone? Why couldn't he let me live in the way I wanted to?
I realized another thing too.Every time Wilson appeared,he had never let me see his face.I had always noticed his clothes.It was difficult not to notice them because they were always the same as mine.But he kept his face hidden from me.Why did he do this?Did he really think that I was so stupid?Did he think I hadn't realized who he was?The man who followed me everywhere and destroyed my plans again and again was the same William Wilson of my schooldays!But let me continue with my story.
Until now I had felt afraid of Wilson and had obeyed him.The mystery of his sudden arrivals, his cleverness, his deep understanding of me-all these things filled me with fear.I always obeyed him,although I hated myself for doing it.But recently I had become a very heavy drinker.Wine made me feel brave and strong,able to fight anybody who tried to stop me.At the same time I began to think that Wilson was becoming weaker.Was this really happening or was it just a dream? I cannot tell,but I do know that my own feelings were becoming more and more violent.I began to feel a burning hope-soon I would break free from this terrible enemy and never take his orders again.
One evening,in 18-,I was in Rome and was invited to a big party in the palace of Duke Di Broglio.The Duke was old and boring,but his wife was young and beautiful,and not very sensible.I had evil plans for her.She and I had agreed to meet,during the party, in a quiet room where we could be alone.
As I walked from room to room looking for her in the crowds,I suddenly felt a hand touch my arm.Then I heard a whisper in my ears.Angrily I turned round and saw a man.He was wearing the same clothes as I was,but his face was covered with a black mask.I caught him by his arm.‘Stop!’I shouted.‘I have had enough trouble from you!This is the last time you'll follow me anywhere!Come with me now into the next room.If you don't,I shall kill you right now,here where you stand!’ I took him into a small room nearby and pushed him violently to the floor.He got to his feet shakily, and stood up against the wall.I then closed the door and ordered him to fight.For a second he did not move.Then he silently took out his swood.
It was a short fight.I was wild and excited and felt stronger than I had ever felt before.After only a few seconds I pushed him against the wall and plunged my sword into his body again and again.
At that moment somebody tried to open the door.I ran to check that the door was locked and then ran back towards my enemy. How can I describe what I saw at that moment?During those few seconds when I had turned to the door,the room had become strangely different.There was now a large mirror at the end of the room.I was sure that it had not been there before.As I stepped up to the mirror,I saw myself,walking forward shakily,my face white and covered with blood.
Or so I thought.But I was wrong.It was my enemy,Wilson,who stood before me in his last moments of life.His mask and cloak lay on the floor.His face was now uncovered.And I saw,in terror,that his face was my own!
Then Wilson spoke,but no longer in a whisper,and I thought I heard my own voice speaking as he said: ‘You have won,and I have lost.But from this moment you,too,are dead-dead to the world,to Heaven,and to hope!You lived in me-and,in my death,look in my face,which is your own,and see how you have murdered yourself.’
威廉·威尔逊
威廉·威尔逊并不是我的名字,但我将在这个故事中使用它,因为我的真名实姓早已在世界上每一个角落广为人知、深受憎恶了。我所犯下的邪恶罪行确保了这一点。由于我的死期正一天天临近,我觉得有必要诉诸笔墨,向诸位解释一下我的犯罪生涯是如何开始的。
人们走向堕落大都是一步步地来,开始时犯些小过错,接下来罪行便愈犯愈大。但我的情形完全不同。我只消迈上一大步便堕入了真正的罪恶深渊。曾经有人像我一样经历过如此邪恶的一生吗?可是现在,死亡的阴影使我的内心充满了恐惧,我没日没夜地做最可怕的噩梦。也许在某个地方有某个人会为我感到难过。请听我的故事……
我小时候是个野性十足、容易激动的孩子,我父母很为我操心,总想惩罚我,但他们从未成功地令我有所改变。我拒不服从他们,从不照着他们给我的指令去做。我一心想自由自在地生活,于是干什么都是我行我素。
我记得我上的第一所学校是位于英格兰一座僻静的小村庄中的一栋非常古旧的大房子。我现在一边写,一边还能感觉到房子旁边那幽暗的花园里的丝丝凉意,还能嗅到花朵的芬芳,听到每当整点时便敲响的深沉的教堂钟声。
当我无比凄惨地在这里坐以待毙的时候,这些感觉给了我片刻的欢悦。事实上,我的故事就是从这里、从这所学校真正开始的……
学校的校舍规模宏大,年代久远。大大的花园被一道高墙紧紧围住,墙头还插着碎玻璃片,活像一座监狱。我们一个星期只能出去三次。到了星期六下午,我们要在一位老师的密切监视下去学校附近的田野里散一圈步。星期天我们能出去两次,早一次晚一次,都是去村里的教堂。
我的读书生涯并未令我感到厌烦和不快,孩子们总是能够很轻易地找到自我娱乐的法子。在我的想像中,我过着一种激动人心的生活,生活中充满了神秘和有趣的事情;但是在真实的世界中,一个个日子总是千篇一律——我们醒来,睡去,去田野里散步,在操场上玩耍……说实在的,操场可真是一个非常特别的地方。这是个交到朋友、失去朋友的地方,是个总是充满了麻烦和骚动的地方。
我是那种喜欢对别人发号施令、而不喜欢听人家指挥的男孩,总是想赢得每一场游戏、每一场争斗,想在任何一件事上当老大。所有其他男孩,甚至那些比我稍微大一点的,都乐于追随我,服从我。所有人都如此,只是有一个人除外。他的名字和我的一模一样,所以我将同样把他也称为威廉·威尔逊。我们俩并不是来自同一个家庭,但都叫同一个名字。这没什么可奇怪的,因为我的名字又不是那么不常见。
这个威廉·威尔逊拒绝服从我。他跟我争执不下,从课堂里吵到操场上,还试图阻止其他男孩追随我。实际上,我想我是唯一一个意识到他在这样做的男孩。他将每一件事都做得非常巧妙、不动声色,这样,就不会有人真正注意到了。然而我——我注意到了他的所作所为,并且因此害怕起来。我真怕威尔逊比我更强大。每当我看见其他男孩撇下我去追随他,我就变得心急如焚,怒不可遏。但威尔逊总是那样冷静、镇定。什么都不曾让他为难。他似乎只需要一件事——看我受惊吓和闷闷不乐。但与此同时,我注意到,他有时向我作出了友好的表示——这可是最让我不能接受的。
我很难形容我对威尔逊的感情。我不恨他,但也不喜欢他。我想,最主要的感情是,我害怕他;同时我又想对他有更多的了解,以便从中找出一些令他提心吊胆和焦躁不安的东西。但我一无所获。他的模样或走路的样子都没有什么古怪之处,但是称得上特别的有一样——就是他的声音。他的声音很古怪。他开口的时候,从来不能高声讲话。事实上,他的说话声比耳语也强不了多少。
威尔逊机敏地发现有一件东西是我真正不喜欢的。那就是我的名宇。尽管我出身于声名显赫的古老世家,但我的名字却是个大路货,它可以归任何一个微不足道的劳动者所有。我一向憎恶我这名字,但现在对它的深恶痛绝又加深了一层,因为我们两个用的都是这同一个名字,我现在听到它的次数成了先前的两倍。还有一件事情更是令我深为烦恼。我们两个看上去非常相像,个头一般高,都很瘦,甚至面容都很相像。我知道因为我们两个的名字一样,大一些的男孩子们都以为我们是兄弟,但好像还没有人注意到我们长相类似。然而,威尔逊注意到了这一点,还看出我对此非常生气。什么也逃不过他的眼睛。他总能洞悉我心底隐藏得最深的情感。
过了一阵子,他开始在穿着打扮、甚至走路的步态上模仿我。还好,我高声讲话的时候他模仿不了我,但是,一旦我悄声低语,他的悄声低语就同我的惟妙惟肖。
所有这一切都深深困扰着我。我看得出威尔逊为惹我生气而乐不可支,而且常常在背地里笑话我。奇怪的是,其他男孩竟然从未觉察到他是如何拿我开玩笑,如何千方百计地模仿我。注意到这一点的只有我一个人。
他非常频繁地向我提出忠告,轻声指点我应当怎样做事,怎样讲话。他这么做的时候我就更加厌恶他。当然了,时至今日,我认识到这些忠告往往是大有益处、入情入理的。多么可惜啊,我竟然从未照着去做过!
时光流逝,我对他的怒气也与日俱增。凭什么要让他,或者随便什么人,来向我提出告诫?我对他的感情改变了,实际上我已开始憎恨他。他注意到这一点,便尽量不与我过分接近。
我入学校读书将近五个年头的时候,有一天,在我们之间爆发了一场激烈的争吵。在吵架过程中,他比往常更为公开地表达了自己的思想感情,这时,一个非常奇怪的念头出现在我的头脑之中。我想——叫我怎么说呢?——也就那么一两秒钟吧,我想,我是早就认识他的,在很久很久以前、当我们还都是小孩子的时候就认识他了。正如我所说,这是个非常愚蠢的古怪想法,于是我尽可能快地把它忘掉了。
但是当天晚上,每个人都入睡之后,我下了床,然后手持一盏小提灯,穿过黑洞洞的大楼,找到威尔逊的房间。我把提灯留在门外,自己走到他的床边。是的,他已经睡着了。我转身拿到提灯,再走回到他床边。我已经盘算好了在他熟睡时狠狠地整他一下子。但是,我一看见那男孩的睡态,心跳便加快了,而且充满了恐惧。威廉·威尔逊真地就是这个样子吗?他醒着时看上去也是这同一副模样吗?我知道他和我一般高。我还知道他像我一样走路,像我一样说话,尽其所能千方百计地模仿我。但是要说床上睡着的那人怎么看都与我酷似,这怎么可能呢?我开始因恐惧而瑟瑟发抖,浑身上下变得冰冷冰冷的。他绝对不可能是这个样子!难道我真地是在眼睁睁看着一个男孩,他并不是我的一个什么复制品,而是……
我害怕极了,这辈子都没这么害怕过。我悄没声息地溜出他的房间,离开了学校大楼,从此再没回去过。
在家里游手好闲地待了几个月后,我被送进了伊顿公学,英国最负盛名的男校之一。到了那里,我不久便将威廉·威尔逊和我曾感受到的恐惧忘掉了。
假如我真要想起他们来,我便总是嘲笑我自己。
我在伊顿公学过了三年狂放不羁、频频作恶的生活。我学会了行事机敏、隐秘,仅仅对种种寻欢作乐的新办法感兴趣。我选择那种最差劲的学生做朋友,把时间全部花在腐化堕落的享乐上面。在我念第三个学年的一天晚上,我邀请一些学生到我的房间里来聚会,我们通宵喝酒、打牌。除了葡萄酒,我们还另有一些也许更危险的乐趣。当第一道晨光现出时,我建议大家干一件新的坏事作为消遣。这时,我发现有人在开我的房门,又听见一个仆人的声音:“外面有个人要同您讲话,先生。他好像急匆匆的。”
因为饮酒过量,我已经醉得不成样子,费了很大力气才走到客厅里。天气仍然很暗,什么也看不大清楚,我只能辨出一个年轻人的轮廓来。他和我一般高矮,穿的衣服也同我的一模一样。我看不清他的面孔。
他向我走来,对着我的耳朵低语道:“威廉·威尔逊!”我立即听出了这个声音。那是不可能弄错的。单是这两个词就足以让我满心惊惧。还没等我仔细看看他的脸,他已消失得无影无踪了。
这次会面仅仅持续了几秒钟,但此后的几个星期都让我无法忘记。我时时刻刻想着这事。这个威廉·威尔逊是谁,是什么?他从哪里来?他想从我这儿得到什么?我的这些问题一直得不到解答,不过有一件事我搞清楚了。我得知,就在我逃离上一次就读的那所学校的同一天,威廉·威尔逊也离开了学校。
很快,我再一次忘掉了他;此后不久,我又进了牛津大学。我父母很不明智,他们给了我大量的钱,于是我得以过着入时、奢侈的生活,与英国最富有的家族的子弟交朋友。现在丝毫没有任何东西来阻止我了。我大肆挥霍钱财,日日夜夜都在冒险的、激动人心的享乐中度过。
在牛津,我将大量时间花在赌博上面。事实上,我已成为一个最为狡猾、成功的赌棍——比一个贼也强不到哪儿去。我跟其他学生玩纸牌,就是为了从他们那里赢钱,让自己变得更为富有。当然了,我很小心,总是找那些牌技不佳的学生玩,这样一来,就能确保每一次都大获全胜。我的朋友们不够聪明,看不出我搞的把戏。
上大学二年级的时候,我结识了一个名叫格兰丁宁的新生,他出身于一个古老的英格兰世家,是学校里最有钱的学生之一。我很快发现,此人智力极端低下,正因为如此,他理所当然是我的一个非常合适的赌博对象!我开始经常性地同他一起玩纸牌,而且一段时间里总是让他赢。
终于,我认为时机成熟了,便仔细地制定了计划。我在一位朋友家里碰见了格兰丁尼,这位朋友是普雷斯顿先生(他对我的秘密计划一无所知)。还有八个或十个朋友也应邀来做客,这样一来,格兰丁尼就不会想到那天晚上我是早有预谋地要同他赌博了。其实,在那天的聚会中还是他首先提议玩纸牌的呢。
我们拖拖拉拉地玩了好几个钟头,到了最后,在我的精心安排下,牌桌上只剩下我和格兰丁尼单打独斗了,其他人则在一旁观战。这一晚上格兰丁尼喝了不少酒,他的手都微微发抖了——是因为害怕还是因为醉酒,我拿不准。他已经输掉了一大笔钱。然后,正如我所期望的那样,他又足足地灌了一大口酒,说道:“咱们把赌注加倍吧。”大凡新手,总是以为他们这么干就能把输掉的钱赢回来。
一开始我假意推三阻四。然后他发起火来,于是,很自然,我只好答应了。我的计划正在得以顺利实施。我们接着玩下去,不到一个钟头,我赢的钱数就翻了两番。格兰丁尼的脸色这时变得像纸一样惨白,围在桌边的所有人都开始议论纷纷。我听到的一番话令我大为吃惊:“格兰丁尼完蛋了。他已经输掉了全部财产!”
我原来听说格兰丁尼其实非常富有——足够让他输掉一大笔钱而又用不着为此着急上火。现在,我从牌桌旁人们的窃窃私语中得知,事实并非如此。实际上,我把他赢了个倾家荡产,并且就此毁了他。
没有人说话。格兰丁尼用双手捂着脸,大家显然都为他感到难过。连我都觉得有点不安,不知该怎样做才好。
我们正默默无语地站着,突然,房门打开了,一股强风吹进了屋子,将屋子中所有的蜡烛都吹灭了,我们便陷入一片黑暗之中。但就在蜡烛熄灭之前几秒钟,我们注意到一个人已经进了这间屋子。他大概同我一般高矮,脸和身体都被一领长斗篷遮住了。当我们置身于黑暗之中时,我们能够感觉到他就站在屋子里。
然后他开口讲话了。他的说话声宛如耳语,这声音令我顿时充满了恐惧。“先生们,”他说道,“我到这儿来是因为有重要的事情要告诉诸位。我恐怕你们并不真正了解刚刚从格兰丁尼手中赢了这样一大笔钱的那个人。我来告诉你们怎样进一步摸清他的底细。请十分仔细地查看他左边衣袖的里侧,还有他上衣大口袋里面的那几个小包。”他说完这番话,便立即离开了这间屋子,像他进来时一样悄无声息。
那一刻是我一生中经历过的最糟糕的时刻之一。我没机会做任何动作了。我的朋友们愤怒地向我扑来,重新点起蜡烛,检查了我的衣眼。他们发现我的左衣袖里面小心地藏着些单张的纸牌,又在我的衣袋里找到几包特殊的纸牌,这些牌帮助我在玩的每一盘牌戏中取胜。
我的朋友们围着我站成一圈,一言不发地望着我。然后普雷斯顿先生从地板上拾起一件斗篷。“威尔逊先生,”他说,“这是你的斗篷。我希望你离开我的房间,然后马上离开牛津。”
我想揍他,但什么东西阻止了我。是普雷斯顿手里拿着的那件斗篷。尽管它看上去像是我的斗篷,但我知道它不是,因为我自己的斗篷早就在我的左胳膊上搭着了。那是件与众不同、非常昂贵的斗篷,是一家商店为我特制的。现在,另有一件斗篷同它极为相像,这怎么可能呢?
我回想起陌生人闯进屋子的那一刻。是的,他也披着一件斗篷……我满心恐惧,迅速从普雷斯顿先生手中接过斗篷,离开了这间屋子。第二天早晨,我离开了牛津,逃到欧洲大陆上去。我现在因为玩牌作弊而臭名昭著,英格兰的每一扇门都将对我关闭了。
但是坏运气一直伴随着我。其实,我不久就认识到,我在牛津惹的麻烦仅仅是个开始……我到了巴黎之后不久,便又遇到了威廉·威尔逊。他在那里继续摧毁着我作恶的希望。年复一年,无论我走到哪儿,他都要像个鬼魂一样现身,在我和我的计划之间横插一杠子。在罗马,他阻止我去得到我想要的东西;在维也纳,我同样难遂心愿;在柏林,甚至在莫斯科,也是如此!难道就没有一个让我不受干扰的地方吗?我一座城市一座城市地漫游,试图躲开他,但一直不能获得自由的感觉,不能一个人独处。他跟着我到每一个地方。
我总是一遍又一遍地问自己这些问题:“他是谁?他从哪里来?他想从我这儿得到什么?”但我找不出任何答案。我深入反省每一次见到他的情形,意识到,威尔逊在每一座城市所做的都是同一件事情。他并不是总在阻止我实施自己的计划,而仅仅当那些计划是邪恶的和危险的(无论对其他人还是对我自己)之时,才不让它们得逞。这些我都明白,但我还是非常愤怒。为什么威尔逊就不能不干涉我呢?为什么他就不能让我按照自己的意愿生活呢?
我还意识到另外一件事。威尔逊每次出现的时候,从来都不让我看见他的脸。我过去一直留意他的穿着。我很难不去留意这一点,因为他总是穿着和我一样的衣服。然而他把自己的面孔向我掩藏起来了。他为什么要这样做?难道他真地以为我是如此愚蠢吗?难道他觉得我没有认出他是谁吗?那个跟着我到每一个地方、一遍又一遍地摧毁我的计划的人,就是我学生时代那同一个威廉·威尔逊!可是,让我接着讲我的故事。
到了此时,我已经对威尔逊诚惶诚恐、惟命是从了。他那神秘的突然现身,他的聪明才智,他对我深入透彻的理解——所有这一切令我心中充满了恐惧。我总是服从他,尽管这样做让我痛恨自己。但是,近来我成了一个非常严重的酗酒者。酒让我觉得自己勇敢而强大,能够跟任何一个试图阻止我的人打架。与此同时,我又开始觉得威尔逊在变得越来越弱小。此事是真地发生了,还是仅仅是一个梦而已?我分辨不清楚,但分明知道我自己的感情变得越来越狂暴了。我开始感觉到心中燃起了希望——不久我就会从这个可怕的对头手中挣脱出来,获得自由,从此再也不用听他的指挥了。
18××年某一天的晚上,我正在罗马,应邀参加了在迪·布罗里奥公爵府上举行的盛大晚会。公爵年事已高,甚是乏味,但他的妻子却年轻貌美,而且不怎么太聪明。我设了个毒计来摆布她。我和她已经说好在晚会期间跑到一个背静的房间里去幽会,在那里我们可以不受打扰。
正当我一个房间一个房间地在人群中找她的时候,我突然感觉到有一只手碰了碰我的胳膊,然后听见耳畔一阵低语。我气冲冲地转过身,看见了一个男人。他身穿和我的一模一样的衣服,但是脸上戴着一副黑面具。我一把抓住他的胳膊。“行了!”我嚷道。“我已经被你折腾得够呛了!这是你最后一次到处跟踪我!现在,马上跟我到隔壁房间去。你要是不去的话,我现在就杀了你,让你当场丧命!”
我把他拽到旁边的一间小屋里,粗暴地将他推倒在地。他颤抖着爬起来,靠墙站着。然后我关上屋门,向他发出挑战。有一刹那,他没有动弹,然后才默默地拔出了佩剑。
决斗持续了没多久。我狂躁不堪,兴奋异常,觉得自己前所未有地力大过人。刚斗了几秒钟,我便将他逼到墙边,一次又一次地将手中的剑刺进他的身体。
这时,有人想打开房门。我奔过去检查一下,见门锁得好好的,便又朝我的对手跑回来。我该如何描述那一刻我所见到的情景呢?就在我跑过去检查门锁的几秒钟之内,这房间已经非常奇异地变得大为不同了。现在,房间的尽头立起了一面大镜子,我敢保证它先前并不是在那儿的。我朝镜子走去,看见了我自己,浑身战栗着向前走,面孔煞白,还沾满了鲜血。
要么就是我以为如此。但我错了。那是我的死对头威尔逊,在他生命的最后时刻站在了我面前。他的面具和斗篷扔在地板上。他的脸上现在没遮任何东西。于是我万分惊恐地发现,他的脸就是我自己的脸!
然后威尔逊开口说话了,但不再用那种耳语的声音;他一面说,我一面觉得听到的是我自己的声音:
“你赢了,我输了。但是从这一刻起,你也死了——对世界,对天堂,对希望,都是死了的!你活在我之中——那么,我这一死,看看我的脸吧,这也是你自己的脸,看看你是怎样杀害了你自己的。” |
原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/shuchong3j/tales/173764.html |