英语听力：三怪客泛舟记.three.men.in.a.boat 09（在线收听）

　　Chapter 9 Our first night on the boat

　　After some time，Harris and I began to think that Bell Weir lock had disappeared．'Perhaps someone has tak-en it away，'we said．George had towed the boat as far as Staines，and we had towed it from there．It seemed to get heav-ier and heavier．We began to think that we were right and that someone had moved the lock．But，finally，at half past seven，we reached it and got through it．By now we just wanted to eat and to go to bed．So we stopped before we reached Magna Charta Island．It was quite a pretty place and we tied our boat to a big tree．

　　We were looking forward to having something to eat then，but George said，'No！It's better to put the cover on the boat first，before it gets too dark．All our work will be finished then．We'll be able to sit down and enjoy our meal．'

　　None of us had realized that it would be so difficult to fix the cover．There were five pieces of metal and you put these into special holes on the side of the boat．The pieces of metal were half circles，and when you had put them into the holes，you just had to pull the cover over them．

　　We thought it would probably take about ten minutes．

　　We were wrong．

　　We took the pieces of metal，and we began to drop them into their holes．You would not expect this to be dangerous work，but it was．

　　First of all，the pieces of metal would not fit into their holes．We had to jump on them，and kick them，and beat them．And when we got one in，we found that it was the wrong piece of metal for those holes．So we had to take it out again．

　　At last we got them finished．Then we only had to put the cover on．George took one end，and he fastened it over the front of the boat．Harris stood in the middle of the boat to take the cover from George．I stayed at the back of the boat to take the end of the cover from Harris．

　　George did his job all right，but it was new work to Harris and he did everything wrong．

　　I do not know how he did it，and Harris himself could not explain it later．After ten minutes of really hard work，he was inside the cover．He could not get out．He fought the cover hard- and knocked George over．Then George got angry and he began to fight，too．George could not get out of the cover ei-ther．

　　At the time，I did not know anything about all this．I did not understand what was happening anyway．They had told Mont-morency and me to stand and wait．So Montmorency and I stood there and waited．We could see that the cover was mov-ing about quite violently．However，we thought that it was all necessary for the job．We did nothing because they had told us to wait．

　　We also heard many bad words coming from under the cover．Montmorency and I decided that this was because the job was very difficult．

　　We waited for some time，but everything seemed to get worse．Finally George's head appeared over the side of the boat．It said，'We can't breathe under here！Why don't you help us，you great stupid thing！'

　　So I went and helped them．Harris's face was nearly black，so I was just in time．

　　It took another half an hour after that to fix the cover．And then we started to prepare supper．We needed some hot water to make tea，so we put the water on the stove at the front of the boat，and we went to the back．We pretended that we were not interested in the water at all．We wanted it to think we did not care if it got hot or not．We began to get the other things out．

　　That is the only way to get hot water on the river．If the water knows that you are waiting for it，it will never get hot．You have to go away and begin your meal without it．You must not look at it．Then you will soon hear it making a lot of noise，because it wants to be made into tea．

　　It is also a good idea to talk very loudly to each other．You must say that you do not want any tea，that you do not need any tea，and that you are not going to have any tea．You get very near the water and you shout，'I don't want any tea．Do you，George？'

　　And George shouts back，'Oh，no．I don't like tea．We'll have milk．'

　　This makes the water very angry，and it gets hot very fast．

　　We did this，and，when everything else was ready，the tea was ready，too．Then we sat down to have supper．We really wanted that supper．We needed that supper．And for thirty-five minutes nobody on the boat spoke．

　　After supper，we sat and smiled at each other．We smiled at Montmorency，too．We loved everybody．We sat back，we lit our pipes，and we began to talk．

　　George told us about something very funny that happened to his father once…

　　When he was young，George's father was travelling with a friend．One night they stopped at a little hotel．They spent the evening there with some other young men．After a very happy evening they went to bed．It was late，and，by that time，they（George's father and George's father's friend）were feeling quite happy themselves．Anyway，they were going to sleep in the same room，but in different beds．When they got into the room，they dropped their light，which went out．So they had to undress and get into bed in the dark．They thought they were getting into separate beds．However，because they could not see， they both got into the same one．One of them got in with his head at the top of the bed．The other one got in on the other side of the bed．He lay with his feet by the first one's head．

　　Nobody spoke for a moment．Then George's father said，'Joe！'

　　'What's the matter，Tom？'Joe replied，from the other end of the bed．

　　'Why，there's a man in my bed，'George's father said．'His feet are here，next to me．'

　　'Well，that's very strange，Tom，'Joe answered，'but there's a man in my bed，too．'

　　'What are you going to do？'George's father asked．

　　'Well，I'm going to throw him out，'Joe replied．

　　'So am I，'George's father said，bravely．

　　There was a short fight，and then there were two heavy bangs on the floor．After a moment or two，a rather sad voice said，'I say，Tom！'

　　'Yes？'

　　'How have you got on？'

　　'Well，to tell the truth，my man's thrown me out．'

　　'My man's thrown me out，too…I say，this isn't a very good hotel，is it？'…

　　At the end of George's story，Harris asked，'What was the name of the hotel？'

　　'The Riverside，'George replied．'Why？'

　　'Ah，it isn't the same hotel，then，'Harris answered．

　　'What do you mean？'George asked．

　　'Well，it's strange，'Harris said，'but the same thing hap-pened to my father once．I've often heard him tell the story．'

　　After that，we went to bed，but I slept very badly．

　　9 在船上的第一夜

　　不久，哈里斯和我开始怀疑贝尔·韦尔水闸消失了。“也许有谁给挪走了吧，”我们说。因为乔治把我们一直拉到斯泰恩斯，接着我们又拉。船越来越沉，我们认为自己的怀疑没错，肯定有人把水闸挪走了。一直到晚上七点半，我们终于到了，把船拉了过去。我们那会儿只想吃饭、睡觉，所以还没有到大宪章岛我们便停了下来。找了一个风景如画的地方，把船拴到了大树上。

　　那时我们都盼着吃点什么，可乔治却说：“别忙，最好先把船篷支起来，要不然天就黑了。等到活干完了，再坐下来舒舒服服地吃一顿晚餐。”

　　我们谁也没想到支个船篷竟那么费事。一共有五个半圆形的铁条，你把它们插进船舷特制的小孔里，把篷布拉好，盖上就行了。

　　我们想这活用不了十分钟。

　　但我们错了。

　　我们拿起铁条要插到船上相对应的插孔里。谁也没想到那是危险的活，但的确如此。

　　最要命的是那些铁条跟插孔的尺寸根本不符。我们在上面又踩又跳，又踢又打，好不容易插进去了，才发现插错了地方，又得使劲拔出来。

　　终于弄停当了，只要把篷布打开就行了。乔治拿一头，把前端固定在船头。哈里斯站在中间，从乔治那儿接过篷布，我站在船尾，从哈里斯手里接过另一头。

　　乔治的活干得不错，可是哈里斯是个生手，一下子全让他搞乱了。

　　我不知道他怎么搞的，他自己后来也说不明白。他呼哧呼哧摆弄了十分钟，便把自己裹在篷布里怎么也出不来了。他在篷布底下又踢又拽，把乔治也给掀翻了。乔治也火了，拼命挣扎，终于自己也出不来了。

　　那时候，我什么情况都不知道，反正我也不懂究竟发生了什么。他们让我和“元帅”站着等，所以我们俩一直站在那儿等着。我们都看见了篷布猛烈翻动着，可我们还以为这是一道必要的工序，因此我们不敢插手。本来嘛，是他们让我们等着的。

　　我们也听得见篷布底下传来好些骂人的脏话。“元帅”和我都以为那是因为活太难干的缘故。

　　我们等了半天，情况越来越糟糕。最后乔治的脑袋从船的那一边探出来，开口说道：

　　“你这个大笨蛋！我们在这儿快闷死了，你不能伸伸手吗？”

　　因此我走过去伸手搭救他们，哈里斯脸上发青，看来我帮得还挺及时。

　　又忙了半个小时才把蓬盖支好，然后我们开始弄晚餐。我们要用热水沏茶，于是就把水放在船头的炉子上煮，自己到船尾去了，还假装出一副对它根本不感兴趣的样子，让它明白我们才不在乎水什么时候开呢。我们又忙着去干其它的事。

　　要想在河上烧开水，这是唯一的方法。要是水知道你在等着它开，它就永远不会热。你必须走开，去吃你的饭，好像根本不想喝水，甚至瞧都不瞧一眼，那水很快就弄出咕嘟咕嘟的噪音，急于要泡茶了。

　　还有个好办法就是大声说话，说你一点不想喝茶，不需要沏茶，也不打算泡茶。你走近水壶，大声说话。

　　“我可不想喝茶。乔治，你呢？”

　　乔治也喊：“哦，不，我才不喜欢喝茶呢，咱们喝牛奶吧。”

　　一听此话，水很生气，很快就沸腾了。

　　我们就是用了这样的手腕。饭做好了，茶也好了，大家坐下来吃晚餐。我们需要的就是这顿晚餐，所以足足有三十五分钟，整个船上鸦雀无声，谁也不说话。

　　吃过晚饭，我们笑容可掬地坐下来，甚至对“元帅”，我们也是满面微笑，我们觉得每一个人都那么可亲可爱。大家坐着，向后斜靠着，点着烟斗，聊了起来。

　　乔治说起了他父亲亲身经历的许多有趣的事儿……

　　乔治父亲年轻时，一次和一个朋友去旅行。一天他们到了一家客栈，晚上和其他一群年轻人一起度过。时间过得很愉快，大家很高兴，也睡得很晚。乔治的父亲和那位朋友还有点陶陶然，他们打算睡在一个房间里，两张床上。他们走进房间时，蜡烛头掉下来灭了。他们在暗中摸索，脱了衣服，爬上床。他们还以为都上了自己的床，可是因为看不见，还是上了一张床。一个从床头上的，另一个从另一头爬上去，一个的脚正好放在另一个的头边。

　　有一会儿两人都没说话，后来乔治的父亲说：“乔！”

　　“怎么回事儿？汤姆？”乔从床另外一头回答。

　　“唉哟，我床上有人，”乔治的父亲说，“他的脚在我旁边。”

　　“是吗？真是怪事，汤姆，”乔回答说，“我床上可不也有人嘛。”

　　“那你打算怎么办啊？”乔治的父亲问。

　　“哼，我要把他给扔出去，”乔说。

　　“对，我也这么办，”乔治的父亲壮起胆子说。

　　短兵相接，只听得地上传来“梆梆”两响，过了一会，传来一个悲切的声音。

　　“我说，汤姆！”

　　“嗳，我在这儿。”

　　“你怎么样了？”

　　“唉，老实对你说吧，我这边那个人把我扔出来了。”

　　“我这边的人也把我扔出来了……我说，这可不象是家正经客栈，是吧？”

　　乔治的故事讲完了，哈里斯问：“那个客栈叫什么名字？”

　　“河畔客栈，”乔治答道，“怎么了？”

　　“啊，那不是同一家客栈了，”哈里斯回答说。

　　“你这话什么意思？”乔治问。

　　“嗯，真是蹊跷，”哈里斯说，“我父亲也曾遇到过这么一回事，我常听他讲这个故事。”

　　然后，我们都去上床睡觉，可我睡得特别不踏实。