Steve: Why?

 

　　Joyce: I have to practice for my CPR exam tomorrow. I’m taking it so I can get my CPR certification. Lie down please.

 

　　Steve: Okay, okay. Now what do I do?

 

　　Joyce: You just lie there and pretend to be unresponsive, like you’re in cardiac arrest. Okay, I need to determine your heart rate and if you’re breathing or not. Then, I check to see that your airway isn’t blocked.

 

　　Steve: Hey, get your fingers out of my mouth!

 

　　Joyce: Lie still! You’re lucky I don’t have to administer artificial respiration.

 

　　Steve: Thank God for small favors!

 

　　Joyce: But I do need to practice restoring your circulation by doing chest compressions.

 

　　Steve: Ouch, that hurts!

 

　　Joyce: You’re supposed to be unresponsive, remember? Hold still while I get the defibrillator.

 

　　Steve: Oh, no, you don’t! From now on, as far as you’re concerned, I’m a case of do not resuscitate!

 

　　Script by Dr. Lucy Tse