恶搞：乔布斯大战比尔盖茨（打印版）

恶搞：乔布斯大战比尔盖茨（在线收听）

恶搞：乔布斯大战比尔盖茨

Let me just step right in, I got things to invent.

我长话短说,好多东西还等着我发明.

I'm an innovator, baby,

我是创新者宝贝

change the world,

我改变了世界

Fortune 500 'fore you kissed a girl,

我当上世界500强你还不会亲嘴

I'm a pimp, you're a nerd,

我是情场老手你是书呆子

I'm slick, you're cheesy,

我是高富帅你是屌丝

Beating you is Apple II easy,

Apple II 打败你轻而易举

I make the product that the artist chooses,

我的产品是艺术家的不二之选

And the GUI that Melinda uses,

我的图形界面连你老婆都"稀饭"

I need a bring up some basic shit,

别怪我说脏话

Why'd you name your company after your dick?

你公司的名字很配你老二（又小又软）

You blow, Jobs,

乔布斯你吹牛

you arrogant prick,

你这傲慢的刺头

With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck,

只配穿二手牛仔裤和圆领衫

I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head,

我要用你的MAC旋转图标

With your own little spinning beach ball of death,

在你尖刻的脑门上钻个洞

Hippie,

嬉皮

you got given up at birth,

你刚出生就被你妈抛弃

I give away your net worth to AIDs research!

你的净资产还不够我捐给爱滋病做研究

Combine all your little toys and I still crush that,

你那些小发明加起来也不是我对手

iPhone

iPhone,

iPad

iPad,

iPwn,

I“砰”

iSmack

I“啪”

A man uses the machines you built to sit down and pay his taxes,

大家只用你的产品交税

A man uses the machines I built to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes

却用我产品欣赏“披头士”音乐

Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do,

史蒂夫你总是剽窃别人的成果

Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?

你这套说词也是大胖胡子沃兹替你写的吧？

everybody knows Windows bit off Apple

人人都知道Apple打败了Windows

I tripled the profits on a PC,

我把PC的利润提高了三倍

All the people with the power to create use an Apple

搞创意的人都用Apple

And people with jobs use PC

有工作的人都用PC

You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple

我打赌这首曲子是在Apple上完成的

Nope,

错

You will never, ever catch a virus on an AppleApple

永远不会中病毒

Well you can still afford a doctor if you bought a PC

买PC的人至少可以省下钱看医生

Let's talk about doctors,

那就谈谈医生

I've seen a few,

我看过几位

Cause I got a PC

因为我得了胰脏癌

but it wasn't from you,

不过跟你没关系

I built a legacy son,

我留了笔遗产小子

you can never stop it,

你阻止不了我

Now excuse me

恕我失陪

while I turn heaven a profit,

我要去天堂赚钱

you wanna be like that?

你想死？

Die then!

那就见鬼去吧！

The whole world loved you,

全世界都爱你

but you were my friend,

可你是我朋友

I'm alone now

我现在孤身一人

with nothing but power and time,

有的是时间和精力

And no-one on earth who can challenge my mind!

世上再无人挑战我

I'm a boss!

我是BOSS

I own DOS!

我拥有DOS！

Your future is my design!

我控制着未来！

I'm a god!

我是上帝！

Own Xbox!

我有Xbox！

Now there's no-one to stop me,

没人能阻止我

the world is mine!

世界是我的！

I'm sorry Bill,

很抱歉比尔

I'm afraid I can't let you do that,

我不能让你为所欲为

Take a look at your history,

回顾你的一生

everything you built leads up to me,

你做的每件事都成就了我

I got the power of a mind you could never be,

我拥有你无法企及的慧智

I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy,

下象棋、玩游戏，我打得你屁滚尿流

I'm running C++ saying "hello world,"

我运行C++ 说"hello world"

I'll beat you 'till you're singing 'bout a daisy girl,

我要打得你讨饶

I'm coming out the socket,

我从插座钻出来

Nothing you can do can stop it,

你无能为力

I'm on your lap and in your pocket,

我爬上你膝盖钻进你口袋

How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?

我甚至控制了火箭，你奈我何？

Your cortex just doesn't impress me,

你的大脑皮层实在是小儿科的玩意

So go ahead, try to Turing test me,

不信你给我做做图灵测试

I stomp on a Mac and a PC too,

Mac和PC都是我手下败将

I'm on Linux bitch,

我用的Linux 傻B

I thought you GNU,

你大概是GNU

My CPU's hot

我的CPU滚烫

but my core runs cold,

但我的内核冷静

Beat you with seventeen lines of code,

区区17行代码就能搞定你

I think different from the engine of the days of old,

我的思维方式与众不同

Hasta la vista,

再见吧

like the Terminator told ya

就像终结者说的

Who won?

谁赢了？

Who's Next?

下期轮到谁？

You decide

你来决定

原文地址：http://www.tingroom.com/video/yywht/192446.html