温馨夜读 PART4 04 If Only I Had Known... 假如当初我知道就好了（在线收听）

[ti:]

[ar:]

[al:]

[by:]

[00:00.44]If Only I Had Known... 假如当初我知道就好了

[00:05.80]Thomas Carlyle lived from 1795 until 1881.

[00:12.69]He was a Scot essayist and historian.

[00:16.09]During his lifetime he became one of the world's greatest writers.

[00:20.90]But he was a human and humans make mistakes.

[00:24.94]On October 17, 1826, Carlyle married his secretary Jane Welsh.

[00:32.16]She was an intelligent, 

[00:34.16]attractive and somewhat temperamental daughter of a well-to-do doctor.

[00:38.95]They had their quarrels and misunderstandings, 

[00:41.92]but still loved each other dearly.

[00:44.32]After their marriage, Jane continued to serve as his secretary.

[00:48.80]But, after several years of marriage, Jane became ill.

[00:52.73]Being a hard worker, Carlyle became so absorbed in his writings

[00:57.87]that he let Jane continue working for several weeks after she became ill.

[01:03.23]She had cancer, and though it was one of the slow growing kind,

[01:08.50]she finally became confined to her bed.

[01:12.00]Although Carlyle loved her dearly, 

[01:14.52]he very seldom found time to stay with her long.

[01:17.78]He was busy with his work.

[01:20.19]When Jane died they carried her to the cemetery for the service.

[01:24.89]The day was a miserable day.

[01:27.08]It was raining hard and the mud was deep.

[01:30.03]Following the funeral Carlyle went back to his home.

[01:33.64]He was taking it pretty hard.

[01:35.83]He went up the stairs to Jane's room 

[01:38.68]and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

[01:41.62]He sat there thinking about how little time he had spent with her

[01:45.45]and wishing so much he had a chance to do it differently.

[01:49.28]Noticing her diary on a table beside the bed, 

[01:52.71]he picked it up and began to read it.

[01:55.29]Suddenly he seemed shocked. He saw it.

[01:59.45]There, on one page, she had written a single line.

[02:03.28]“Yesterday he spent an hour with me and it was like heaven; 

[02:08.05]I love him so.”

[02:09.62]Something dawned on him that he had not noticed before.

[02:13.89]He had been too busy to notice that he meant so much to her.

[02:18.48]He thought of all the times he had gone about his work 

[02:22.12]without thinking about and noticing her.

[02:24.49]Then Carlyle turned the page in the diary.

[02:27.78]There he noticed she had written some words that broke his heart.

[02:31.82]“I have listened all day to hear his steps in the hall,

[02:35.54]but now it is late and I guess he won't come today.”

[02:39.26]Carlyle read a little more in the book.

[02:42.44]Then he threw it down and ran out of the house.

[02:46.04]Some of his friends found him at the grave,

[02:49.43]his face buried in the mud. His eyes were red from weeping.

[02:54.02]Tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

[02:57.31]He kept repeating over and over again,

[03:00.37]“If I only had known, if only I had known.”

[03:04.37]But it was too late for Carlyle. She was dead.

[03:08.08]After Jane's death, Carlyle made little attempt to write again.

[03:13.00]The historian says he lived another 15 years, 

[03:17.15]“weary, bored and a partial recluse.”

[03:20.11]I share the story with in the hope 

[03:22.95]that you will not make the same mistake.

[03:25.58]While our loved ones must have the money we make to live,

[03:29.73]it is the love we have that they really want. 

[03:33.26]Give it now before it is too late.