2009年ESL之就医和人际交往18 Describing Family Relations（打印版）

2009年ESL之就医和人际交往18 Describing Family Relations（在线收听）

18 Describing Family Relations

GLOSSARY

family reunion – an event where relatives meet, usually for a few days, to

reconnect and strengthen their relationships with one another

* Last summer, we went to our family reunion and met alot of cousins for the first

time.

extended family – relatives who are not in one’s immediate family; relatives who

are not one’s parents, children, brothers, or sisters

* Her extended family includes six uncles and more than 20 cousins.

feud – a very serious, long argument between two people or groups of people;

an argument that lasts for a very long time

* The two sisters have had a five-year feud over who should get their greatgrandmother’s paintings.

to hold a grudge – to continue to be angry about something that happened a

long time ago, especially if the other person has already apologized or if there is

no real reason to still be angry

* Siegen is still holding a grudge against me for hitting his car, even though it

happened more than 10 years ago.

to make up – to end an argument and become friendly again

* You and your brother haven’t spoken to each other in days. It’s time to tell him

you’re sorry and make up.

no love lost – without feelings of love, affection, respect, or friendship

* There’s no love lost between Maude and Gretchen. They try to stay as far

away from each other as possible.

hard feelings – resentment and anger, especially because of an argument or

something that happened in the past

* I hope you don’t have hard feelings about me getting the job that we both

applied for.

to look down on – to disapprove of; to not like, especially because one thinks

one is better, more important, or more valuable

* Ophelia looks down on her neighbor because he’s a garbage collector and she

thinks it’s an unimportant job.

old money – a rich family that has always had a lot of money and power, that is

passed down from one generation to the next

* How many U.S. presidents have come from old money?

to approve of – to think that something is a good idea and support it

* What percentage of the population approves of the president’s plan for national

health care?

to look up to – to admire and respect; to think that someone is a very good

person and try to be like him or her

* I’ve always looked up to Galina. She’s such a smart, strong woman.

close – with an intimate relationship; with a lot of affection or love

* Marlene has been a close friend since we were in the third grade.

ancient history – something that happened so long ago that most people have

forgotten about it and it doesn’t seem very importantanymore

* Most people think it’s ancient history, but Kimberly is still really angry that her

first-grade teacher didn’t think she had a good singingvoice.

to turn out – to happen or end in an unexpected way, especially after along

period of time

* Everyone thought the business would fail, but it turned out to be the most

successful store in the city!

to hold it against (someone) – to blame someone for something; to think that

something bad that happened is the fault of a particular person

* Jose Antonio holds it against his parents that he wasn’table to go to college. If

they had saved more money, they could have helped him pay for school.

to forgive and forget – the idea that one should not blame people for bad things

that they have done in the past, and that one should even forget the bad things

that were done, because they are no longer important

* Everyone told us we should forgive and forget, but we’re still really angry that

our neighbors stole our lawnmower.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Who would be part of your extended family?

a) Your parents.

b) Your sisters.

c) Your cousins.

2. What does James mean when he says there’s “no love lost”between his

aunts?

a) They look down on each other.

b) They look up to each other.

c) They don’t like each other.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to look up to

The phrase “to look up to (someone),” in this podcast, means to admire and

respect someone, or to think that someone is a very good person and try to be

like him or her: “Most young children look up to their parents.” The phrase “to

look the other way” means to ignore something bad that is happening and not try

to stop it: “Most people knew about the accounting problems, but they just

decided to look the other way and not say anything.” The phrase “look what

you’ve done” is used when one is very angry about something bad that another

person has done: “Look what you’ve done! You spilled red wine all over the

carpet.” Finally, the phrase “just looking” is used in astore to tell a salesperson

that one doesn’t need help: “A: Do you need help finding anything, ma’am? B:

No thank you, I’m just looking.”

In this podcast, the word “close” means with an intimaterelationship, or with a lot

of affection or love: “I feel very close to you, so I’m going to tell you a secret.”

The phrase “close, but no cigar” is used to talk about something that almost

happened or almost worked correctly, but didn’t: “Our team lost 6-7. Close, but

no cigar.” The phrase “too close for comfort” is used to describe something bad

or dangerous that almost happened, making one scared orfrightened: “That

tornado was too close for comfort! We’re going to moveto a part of the country

with fewer windstorms.” Finally, the phrase “close quarters” is used to describe

things that happen in a small space with many other people: “I’d go crazy if I had

to live in such close quarters all the time.”

CULTURE NOTE

Family reunions are often “attended by” (with the participation of) relatives who

haven’t seen each other in years, or perhaps have never met. That’s why a

typical family reunion begins with “icebreakers,” or socialactivities that are

designed to help people introduce themselves and feelcomfortable speaking to

other people for the first time.

After doing icebreakers, the people at a family reunion often play games. These

might be “board games” (games played on a table), card games, or sports, like

baseball and volleyball. There is usually a lot of “storytelling,” where people

“reminisce” (talk about things that happened long ago) and share family stories.

Sometimes people share their old family photographs, asking relatives to help

them “identify” (find the name of) who the people are and tell stories about them.

Older family members may have more information about when photos were

taken and how those individuals “fit into” (had a placein) the family. People who

are interested in “genealogy” (the study of a family’s past relations) might ask the

oldest relatives to share everything they know about the family’s history.

Family members might try to make a “family tree,” or a large drawing showing

how people are related to each other. Similarly, a “family map” can be used to

show where family members live.

Many people take photos at family reunions, and sometimes there is a

“photography session,” where a professional photographeris hired to take

pictures of everyone there. These photos are saved “for posterity” (for future

generations).

Other family reunions are “less structured” (with fewer plans or activities), and

people just spend their time eating, talking, and playing together. No two family

reunions are “alike” (the same), because no two families are alike!

______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – c; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast episode 519: Describing

Family Relations.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 519. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in

beautiful Los Angeles, in California.

Our website is eslpod.com. You can download a Learning Guide for this

episode. It contains all of the vocabulary, definitions, sample sentences,

additional definitions, comprehension questions, culturalnotes, and a complete

transcript of everything we say. If you like this podcast and would like to support

it, please consider becoming a member of ESL Podcast.

This is dialogue about family relations. It’s going to use a lot of vocabulary you

might use in talking about the way members of your family get along, or don’t get

along. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Eri: What’s that?

James: It’s an invitation to a family reunion. Once every five years or so,

someone in the family organizes one.

Eri: Are you going?

James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing extended family. Did

you know that there used to be a big feud between my father and his brother?

Eri: No, what happened?

James: I’m not sure, but it was something that happenedbefore they got

married. My father held a grudge for years. Then, about eight years ago, they

made up. There’s still no love lost between their wives,but at least there are no

hard feelings between the two of them any longer.

Eri: So you’ll go to the reunion?

James: I’m not sure. My mother’s side of the family has always looked down on

my father’s. She comes from old money and they didn’t approve of her marrying

my father. It was really hard on my mother. She really looked up to her mother

and they were really close before my father came along.

Eri: But that’s ancient history, isn’t it? Considering how things turned out, your

grandmother can’t hold it against your mother for marrying your father.

James: You’ve never met my grandmother. One thing everyone knows about

her is this: She doesn’t know the words to forgive and forget.

[end of dialogue]

Our dialogue begins with Eri saying, “What’s that?” James says, “It’s an

invitation to a family reunion.” A “reunion” is when people who used to be

together come together again. After you graduate from high school, usually 10 or

20 years after the year you graduate they have a high school reunion, where

everyone gets together again. I’ve never gone to my high school reunion,

probably never will. “Family reunion” is when you get together with members of

your family, usually cousins, people who perhaps live in a different part of the

country even, might travel to a family reunion. When I was growing up, we had

family reunions that we went to usually in the summertime. But, of course, just

my own family, what we would call my “immediate family,”had more than 40

people, so didn’t really need the cousins to have a big party.

James says, “Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes a

family reunion.” So his friend asks, “Are you going?” James says, “I’m not sure.

It’s always a little awkward (a little strange) seeing extended family.” “Extended

family” are family that are not in your what we call – and what I just called –

“immediate family.” Your immediate family is your father, your mother, your

brothers, your sisters, their husbands and wives, and probably their children –

your nieces and nephews. Your extended family could include your

grandparents, your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, and soforth. Everybody

has a slightly different definition of what is “immediate” and what is “extended” in

terms of family.

James says, “Did you know that there used to be a big feud between my father

and his brother?” A “feud” (feud) is a long, serious argument between two

people or two groups of people. It usually is something that goes on for a very

long time, and sometimes it can even be violent. But here, I don’t think we’re

talking about any violence, just his father and his uncle don’t get along.

Eri said, “No, what happened?” James says, “I’m not sure, but it was something

that happened before they got married (the father and the mother, presumably).

My father held a grudge for years.” “To hold a grudge” (grudge) means to

continue to be angry about something that happened a long time ago, especially

in a situation where you don’t really have a good reason to be angry still. James

says, “about eight years ago, they (his father and uncle) made up.” “To make up”

means to end an argument and become friendly again. Ahusband and wife

could be arguing and disagreeing about something and they both get mad at

each other, but then they make up; they decide they’ll befriendly again with each

other. The past tense of “make” is “made,” so James says, “eight years ago,

they made up. There’s still no love lost between their wives,” however. The

expression “there’s no love lost” means there’s no of love or affection, respect or

friendship between two people. Someone says, “Well, there’s no love lost

between me and my neighbor,” that means that you don’tget along with – you

don’t like your neighbor; you certainly don’t love each other. James says there’s

no love lost between his mother and his aunt. He says, “at least there’s no hard

feelings between the two of them any longer.” “The two of them” meaning the

father and the uncle. “Hard feelings” is anger and resentment, usually because

of an argument you had many years ago; it’s very similar toa “grudge.” In fact,

sometimes after people have an argument and they make up, they may say, “No

hard feelings,” meaning let’s not continue to be angry at each other.

James’ friend asks him if he’s going to go to the reunion, “So you’ll go to the

reunion?” Eri says. James says, “I’m not sure. My mother’s side of the family

has always looked down on my father’s.” “To look down on (someone)” means

not to like someone because you don’t think they’re as good as you; you think

you’re better than them; you disapprove of them. You should never look down

on people who have less money than you, because you’re not necessarily any

better than they are. But unfortunately, the mother of James – her “side of the

family,” meaning her relatives, have always looked down onJames’ father’s side

of the family. “Look,” by the way, has many different definitions in English, as

you probably know. Take a look at the Learning Guide for some additional

explanations.

James says that his mother comes from old money. The expression “old money”

refers to a very rich family that has had a lot of money for many years, maybe

even many generations – 50, 60, 100 years. The opposite of “old money” would

be “new money”; usually we use the French expression “nouveau riche” to refer

to people who have recently made money, but there’s a very negative

connotation to that – a very negative idea. When you say “nouveau riche” you’re

usually looking down on those people, saying that they’re trying to be part of rich

society; they’re trying too hard to be accepted by old money. In any case, I don’t

have either old money or new money, so it doesn’t really matter to me!

James says that his mother comes from old money and her family didn’t approve

of her marrying his father. “To approve of” means you think it’s a good idea; you

support it. So, James says that his mother had a very difficult time. “It was really

hard on my mother,” he says, “She really looked up to her own mother and they

were really close before my father came along.” So he’s saying that his mother

looked up to his grandmother. “To look up to” is the opposite of “to look down

on.” “To look up to” means to admire, to respect, to think that someone is a very

good person, someone that you want to be like. So, his mother and his

grandmother got along very well, “they were really close,” meaning they had a lot

of affection, a lot of love for each other; they would talk to each other a lot. They

were really close before his father came along. To say he “came along” means

that he became part of the situation, he came into thelife of James’ mother.

“Close” is another word that has many meanings in English, so again take a look

at our Learning Guide for some more information on that.

Eri says, “But that’s ancient history, isn’t it?” “Ancient history,” when used in a

conversation, means something that happened a long time ago, that most people

don’t think is important or don’t even remember anymore. “Ancient history,” if

you are talking about a subject in school, would refer toancient civilizations: the

ancient Greeks, the ancient Romans in Western Europe, forexample. But here,

if someone says, “Oh, that’s ancient history,” they mean nobody remembers that,

that was a long time ago and is no longer important. She says, “Considering how

things turned out, your grandmother can’t hold it against your mother for marrying

your father.” The expression “to turn out,” or the verb“to turn out” means to

happen or to end in a somewhat unexpected way, especially after a long period

of time. It isn’t always, however, unexpected. You may be watching a football

game or a baseball game and then you have to leave before it’s over; later, you

may ask your friend, “How did the game turn out?” Whatwas the result? So

here, she’s saying that considering the result – considering how things turned

out, your grandmother can’t hold it against your mother. “To hold (something)

against (someone)” means to blame someone for something,to think that

something bad that happened is some particular person’s fault. In this case, the

grandmother is angry at James’ father for marrying James’ mother.

James says, “You’ve never met my grandmother (you don’t knowmy

grandmother). One thing everyone knows about her is this: She doesn’t know

the words to forgive and forget.” This is an old expression, “to forgive and

forget.” The idea is that you should not blame peopleor be angry with people for

things that happened in the past – bad things. Instead, you should forgive them;

say, “Oh, that’s okay,” and then forget about it, not think about it anymore. When

James says “she doesn’t know the words,” he means she has neverheard – or

more importantly here, she doesn’t believe in the expression “to forgive and

forget.” She will never forget.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.