Laughing with Helen Hunt（在线收听）

Laughing with Helen Hunt

David: How do you like being in New York City? Of course you spend a lot of time here anyway in New York City.

Helen: I’m up here about half the time.

David: You have your dog with you?

Helen: I do, my dog and I were here for the ¹⁾blizzard.

David: Oh, yes.

Helen: And I have a white snow dog who lives in Los Angeles and never saw the snow in a day in his life, so when it snowed he said, this is the greatest stuff in the world! This is like fantastic, and he was doing snow dog things I’d never seen, it was great. Jumping on like all fours.

David: Now you say “snow dog” and that’s what kind of breed is it?

Helen: St. Moyand.

David: Oh. And they’re normally big mountain snow kind of guys, right?

Helen: Yeah, and mine lives in the ²⁾San Fernando Valley.

David: And so he just absolutely went nuts for the snow?

Helen: The whole neighbourhood was like a dog park. It was great.

David: And does he get along with other dogs in your park?

Helen: He does, he does, on the leash they get a little weird, you know how that is, if you take them off the leash, their tails wag and they are fine, but he walks up... He was attacked once by a much bigger dog so now he sees a dog that could kill him in a minute and he bares his teeth --and it’s really not wise.

David: But he’s a big dog.

Helen: Yeah.

David: But he’s a ³⁾sissy then, is what you’re saying. Is that what is all... the poor thing, what’s his name?

Helen: His name is Johnny.

David: Oh, that’s cute. Johnny, named after...?

Helen: I like to think ⁴⁾Johnny Carson, I got him when his name was already Johnny but still I like to think he’s named after Johnny.

David: You think Johnny would be proud? I guess...

Helen: I’m sure right now he’s watching. It’s his shining moment in his career. I have to say to you, however, that when I was a kid I used to watch Johnny Carson every night and when the world got crazy and scary it was comforting. And now that the world is crazy and scary your show is very, very comforting. I’m very grateful that you keep on...

David: Oh, well that’s very sweet of you, thank you very much.

Helen: Sure.

David: And you did, you mentioned when you came out here you’d actually taken some time off, and I don’t think you’ve been on our show for at least a year and a half to two years. What kind of stuff did you do when you were taking time off? Or was that just the excuse you gave us?

Helen: No, not that much. I did work on my house. You know, nothing that thrilling. I had an epic battle with a rat that got into my house...

David: Oh really? You have rats?

Helen: I had a rat. One bastard rat. Which I discovered because an antique quilt on the wall was eaten like a... like a tiger had gotten in the house.

David: Oh, really?

Helen: And then on the counter where the fruit is was like his exact tooth mark. It was really brutal... so I call a rat guy, who shows up with a gun... and, truly, like whatever that was... a shotgun and I’m thinking...

David: Release them! Turn them ⁵⁾loose... here we go!

Helen: I’m thinking he’s not shooting bullets in my living room. Is it rat, like a rat stun gun, I don’t know, and he had horrible aim and a girlfriend, who was over, thought he was cute so they’re ⁶⁾flirting with each other...

David: Oh, Lord!

Helen: My dog who’s been bred for, you know, generations to capture him is sort of licking his paws and yawning, the rat is giving me the finger like ⁷⁾Donald Rumsfeld. Like he’s blind! So, my boyfriend set a very elaborate trap, like with a little appetizer and a glass of wine and an ⁸⁾entré--and then BANG, got him!

David: So you’re getting rid of the rat.

Helen: Got him.

David: But this is one thing I don’t think people are aware of. I’ve heard other folks say in Los Angeles that you got an ⁹⁾epidemic of rats, and here in New York City we are knee deep in rats.

Helen: Oh, my God!

David: The world will ¹⁰⁾tilted on its axis from the weight of rats one day. Don’t you think so?

Helen: I do...

David: It’s just a little crazy...

Helen: I do...

David: Now do we have a clip? I guess we don’t have a clip.

笑访海伦·亨特

大卫：你觉得纽约生活怎样？因为你呆在这座城市里都蛮久的。

海伦：我有半数时间呆在这里。

大卫：和你的宠物狗一起吗？

海伦：是的，我和狗狗曾在这儿体验大风雪。

大卫：噢，是吗。

海伦：我有一只白色的雪狗，现在它在洛杉矶，它从没见过雪，所以下雪时，它高兴得好像这是世界上最美好的东西！真是很奇妙，我以前从没见过它那副样子，真有意思，它撒开四个爪子蹦蹦跳跳个不停。

大卫：你说的“雪狗”，那是一个什么品种？

海伦：是“圣莫亚”的品种。

大卫：哦！这可都是些大山狗，皮毛雪白，块头和一个人差不多，对不对？

海伦：没错，我的狗狗住在圣费尔南多山谷。

大卫：所以它才会一看到雪就高兴得发疯？

海伦：周边环境简直就像是一个狗的乐园。很有意思。

大卫：它和乐园里的其它狗有来往吗？

海伦：有，有。拴着颈圈的时候，狗儿都会有些怪怪的，你应该知道那是怎么回事。而如果给这些狗松开颈圈，它们会摆着尾巴，表示这样很好，可我的狗狗会冲上去……它曾经被一只比它大很多的狗攻击过，所以现在它每看到一只很有杀伤力的狗，它就会龇牙咧嘴狂吠不已，而这样做其实很不明智。

大卫：可是它是一只很大的狗呀。

海伦：没错。

大卫：但按你说的，它却那么胆小。那是不是……这个可怜的家伙叫什么名字？

海伦：它叫强尼。

大卫：哦，很可爱的名字。强尼，这个名字的意义是……？

海伦：我喜欢把这个名字和强尼·卡森联系起来。我刚得到这只狗时，它就叫强尼了，不过我仍然认为它的名字是为了纪念强尼·卡森的。

大卫：那你觉得那个强尼会为此感到骄傲吗？我猜……

海伦：我确信此时此刻他正在收看这个节目。这正是他一生中的璀璨一刻。可我还是想告诉你，当我还是个小孩子时，我每晚都收看强尼·卡森的节目，每当我觉得这个世界变得疯狂和让人恐惧时，他的节目总能让我感到安心。而现在呢，即使这个世界仍然疯狂和让人恐惧，你的节目还是非常非常地能宽慰人心。我很感激你一直坚持下来了……

大卫：呵呵，你真是过奖了，非常感谢。

海伦：别客气。

大卫：刚进来这里时你还提过，你实际上休整了好一阵子，我想你至少也有一年半到两年时间没在我们的节目中露过面了。那么，在那段时间里，你都做了些什么呢？或者那只是你推搪我们的借口？

海伦：不，我可没那么过分。我那时在整理房子。你知道，都是些芝麻绿豆的小事。我与一只窜进房子的老鼠进行了一场大战……

大卫：哦，真的吗？你家有老鼠？

海伦：有过一只，那该死的老鼠。我之所以会发现它，是因为挂在墙上的一幅古挂毯被咬了，咬得像……像是一只老虎在屋里兴风作浪一样。

大卫：哦，真的？

海伦：后来，我又发现放在柜上的水果也有老鼠的牙印，那真是让人觉得不舒服……所以我叫来了一位捕鼠专家，他出现在我面前时带着一把枪……很像是猎枪，这时我就在想……

大卫：饶了它们！让它们逃生吧……我们来了！

海伦：我在想他不能在我的客厅里开枪呀。那是不是一支老鼠麻醉枪，我就不知道了。这个人准星瞄不好，他还带着一个前女友，她认为他很可爱吧，所以这两个人老是在打情骂俏……

大卫：哦，天啊！

海伦：你知道吗，我养的狗怎么也经过了几代的调养，可以抓老鼠，所以它摩拳擦掌，蠢蠢欲动。那只老鼠就像唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德一样根本不把我放在眼里。它真是有眼无珠！最后，我的男友精心泡制了一个陷阱，放了一点点小甜点、一杯酒和一份小餐——然后“叭”一声，就抓住老鼠了。

大卫：那么说你们除掉这只老鼠了。

海伦：除掉了。

大卫∶但有一件事，我想大家还不知道。我听说，洛杉矶传言你得了鼠疫，而现在又在纽约，这里，我们却要深陷群鼠围攻了。

海伦：噢，天啊！

大卫：有一天地球将会因为老鼠过多而重心偏移了。你同意吗？

海伦：同意……

大卫：这个观点有点疯狂……

海伦：同意……

大卫：我们有没有夹子啊？我们如果没有夹子怎么办好……

注释:

1) blizzard [5blizEd] n. 暴风雪

2) San Fernando Valley: 位于加利福尼亚州洛杉矶市。

3) sissy [5sisi] n. [口]胆小鬼，懦弱的人

4) Johnny Carson: 美国著名谈话节目(Tonight Show)的主持

5) loose [lu:s] a. 自由的

6) flirt [flE:t] v. 调戏某人，与某人调情

7) Donald Rumsfeld: 唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德，美国国防部长

8) entré [5Rntrei] n.（正菜前或两道菜之间的）小菜

9) epidemic [7epi5demik] n  流行病；时疫

10) tilt [tilt] v. 使倾斜