Cat Beauty Contest（在线收听）

Cat Beauty Contest

Americans like to 1)pledge that we are 2)"...one nation...indivisible," but there are a lot of things besides politics and religion that divide us. There is no one thing about which we are more divided than we are on whether we like, or dislike, cats.

I went to the International Cat Show at 3)Madison Square Gardens. About 800 cats showed up. These are not your average everyday common ordinary 4)alley cats. I never knew there were so many different kinds of cats. Big cats. Small cats. Beautiful cats. 5)Homely cats. 

Cat Owner:  Ahh, that's not fair. She's a 6)cutie. 

This one looks like a 7)pygmy lion. It's obvious when you watch them together, that people who like cats like cats better than cats like the people who like them. Owners constantly displayed an affection that was not 8)reciprocal. A kiss is just a kiss, but a kiss is nothing to a cat. Cats just don't give a damn.
 
The show was like one big beauty 9)parlour. 10)Obsessive owners 11)groomed them 12)incessantly. 

Interviewer: How much time do you spend on yourself and how much on the cat?

Cat Lover 1:  About an hour and a half on myself and about an hour and a half on the cat. Equal time.

Owners philosophize about cats, projecting their own 13)fantasies into the 14)imaginary 15)psyches of their animals. They endow cats with mystical qualities that cats don't have. 

Cat Lover 2:  They're more honest than people. 

Cat Lover 3: You have to earn a cat's love.

Cat Lover 4: Cats are touchers. They, they touch with the mind. They, they touch with the body. They take life on their terms not yours.

Cat Lover 5: Persian's are very laid-back breed. 

Cat Lover 6: There are certain cats that will come to you because you don't like them. That's the 16)mystique of the cat.
 
There's nothing owners won't buy for their cats. One stand was selling bottled water. 

Sales Clerk: Sure. It's selling for two fifty-nine a bottle. 

A thirsty cat'll drink from a 17)puddle in the street! Two fifty-nine for a bottle of water?! In a cat 18)boutique, owners could buy rat-shaped 19)catnip to provide their pets the 20)ecstasy of a 21)vicarious kill. Tooth brushes with which to clean their teeth afterwards. A cat 22)futon for them to sleep on. A lot of owners gave their cats pillows that looked as if they were made of real cat fur to me. One woman even had a long sweater of suspect origin.

Interviewer: It sure looks like, uh...

Cat Lover 7: I know, but it's not. Trust me. It's not.
We watched the judges at work at the cat beauty contest. Contestants are not handled like a Miss America would be. We didn't stay to see who the top cat was but reading the newspaper the next day, we found we were lucky. We had taken pictures of Nobu, the grandest puddy cat of them all. The judges all thought Nobu was the cat's meow.

注释:
1) pledge [pledV] v. 保证，发誓
2) ...one nation...indivisible 这句话来自表示忠诚于美国的效忠誓词（Pledge of Allegiance）
3) Madison Square Gardens 麦迪逊广场公园，位于纽约，是美国体育娱乐活动的殿堂。
4) alley cat 野猫，无人认领的猫
5) homely [5hEumli] a. （美语）不漂亮的，难看的
6) cutie [5kju:ti] n. [美俚]美人儿，尤物
7) pygmy [5pi^mi] a. 矮小的
8) reciprocal [ri5siprEkEl] a. 相互的，有来有往的
9) parlour [5pB:lE] n. 接待顾客的店堂
10) obsessive [Eb5sesiv] a. 着迷的
11) groom [^ru:m] v. 使整洁，打扮
12) incessantly [in5sesEntli] ad. 连续地
13) fantasy [5fAntEsi] n. 幻想，奇妙的发明
14) imaginary [i5mAdVinEri] a. 想象中的，假想的
15) psyche [5psaiki:] n. 心灵
16) mystique [mis5ti:k] n. 神秘性
17) puddle [5pQdl] n. 水坑，泥潭
18) boutique [bu:5ti:k] n. 时装用品小商店
19) catnip [5kAtnip] n. 猫薄荷，其香气吸引猫
20) ecstasy [5ekstEsi] n. 狂喜，入迷
21) vicarious [vai5kZEriEs] a. 取代的
22) futon [5fu:tCn] n. 蒲团

猫咪也选美

美国人喜欢自称: 我们是一个密不可分的国家。然而除了政治和宗教之外，我们有分歧的事有许多。比如，对猫的好恶就最能够体现这一点。
我来到在麦迪逊广场公园举办的国际猫展现场，这里大约有800只猫粉墨登场。那可不是你平时见到的游荡在街头巷尾的野猫。说实在的，我还真不知道猫有那么多的品种！有的是庞然大物，有的则娇小玲珑，有的国色天香，有的则相貌平平。
猫主: 啊，那样说可不公平，她可是个小美人儿！
这只猫看起来像一头小狮子。当人猫相聚的时候，你能够明显地看出那些爱猫者对猫的感情甚至远远超过猫对主人的感情！主人们对猫儿总是宠爱有加，但这种爱却都是没有回报的。对猫儿来说，亲吻就是亲吻，并没有特殊意义，它们对此并不在乎。
猫展的现场气氛让人如同置身于一家大型美容院，那些如醉如痴的猫主们为打扮自己心爱的宠物而忙个不停！
问：你在自己身上花多少时间，在猫身上又是花多少时间？
爱猫者一: 在自己身上花一个半小时，在猫身上也是花一个半小时，不偏不倚！
猫的主人们愿意把猫人性化，他们主观地认为自己的猫有着与自己头脑中相似的意念与想法，他们赋予了猫许多其本身并不具有的品性。
爱猫者二：它们要比人诚实得多！
爱猫者三：你要努力才能赢得猫的爱！
爱猫者四: 猫会通过触摸来交流，它们能够用意念去触摸，用身体去触摸。它们按照自己的意愿生活，不受他人支配。
爱猫者五：波斯猫是一个极其懒惰的品种。
爱猫者六：有些猫会因为你不喜欢它而偏要与你接近，这正是它的神秘之处！
    猫主们愿意为猫购买任何东西。这里有一个小摊出售瓶装水。
售货员：是的，两元五角九一瓶！
要知道，猫口渴的时候会在街道上的泥坑里喝水！花上两元五角九买一瓶水？！在专售猫类用品的小商店里，有的猫主会花钱为自己的宠物购买做成老鼠形状的猫薄荷，从而使它们获得捕杀“猎物”的喜悦。此外，还有专为猫饭后清洁牙齿用的牙刷和专供猫睡觉用的垫子。许多猫主还为猫购买枕头--在我看来，那枕头就像是用猫的皮毛做成的。有一位女士身上的长套衫，其原材料可疑。
问：我看就像是……
爱猫者七: ……我知道你想说什么，但那不是，相信我的话吧，不是的！
    我们看到了评判人员在“猫小姐”选美过程中的工作场面。当然，参选猫并没有受到“美国小姐”参选者的礼遇！我们没有留下来看获得桂冠的到底是哪一只。但是次日看报纸的时候，我们发现自己是蛮走运的！我们拍过诺波的照片，在所有的参赛猫中，这只漂亮猫可是最庞大的。所有的裁判都认为诺波是猫中之王。