She is the Whole World To Him 她是他的整个世界
One of my persistent fantasies used to be of sitting at a sidewalk cafe in Paris .I would be writing with my pen in a notebook while smoking.I would not be writing economics. I would be writing a novel or perhaps poetry or even a philosophical treatise.But i would frenquently raise my eyes to watch the girls go by.
I no longer have that fantasy. I do ,however,eat from time to time outdoors at a restaurant on the street leading to the Kennedy Center. I don't try to write there.Instead, I watch the passers by.
I am not concentrating on girls.I am concentrating on married couples,and i look particularly at the women.They are not glamorous.No Marilyn Monroes.Some are pretty, but many would be considered plain. since they are on their way to the Kennedy Center to attend a play, an opera or a concert, one may assume they are above average in cultural literacy. in other respects they are ,like most people, average.
But to the man whose hand or arm she is holding,she is not "average". she is the whole world to him.
Genesis says,"And the Lord God said 'It is not good that the man should be alone;I will make him a helper fit for him'" And so ,"made he a woman." it doesn'tsay that he made a pretty or a witty woman ,or an any kind of adjective woman. He made the basic woman.
Why is this basic woman so valuable to the man?Three things:
First ,she is a warm body in bed. I don't refer to sexual activity. That is important .But I refer to something that is , If possible,even more primitive:human contact.
A baby crying in its crib doesn't want conversation or a gold ring. He wants to be held and patted . Adults need that physical contact also. They need to cuddle together for warmth and comfort in an indifferent or cold world .The plain woman an d plain man do that for each other.
But conversation is also important .These couples may have been talking to each other for 30 years or more. You might think they have nothing left to say.But still they can talk to each other in ways they cannot talk to anyone else.He can tell her of something good he has done without fearing she will think he is bragging . He can count on her interset and understanding.
The primary purpose of this conversation is not to convery information,Its purpose is to say,"I am here, and I know that you are here"
Third,the woman serves the man's need to be needed. if no one needs you, what good are you? other people-employers,students, readers-you say the need you. But in such relationships you are replaceable at some price.to To this woman you are not replaceable at any price. That gives you the self-esteem to meet the world every day.
So this "ordinary"woman-one like 50 million others in America-as great value to this man. And while I have written these views from a man's point of view, I don't think the relationship is one-side. On the contrary, I am sure it is reciprocal.
I can hear you saying:" How do you know all this?you are only an economist, practitioner of the dismal science." That is true.But my wife and I walked up that hill to the Kennedy Center many times. |