Oh, boy.

　　干嘛

　　What?

　　我无法在不违法协议的情况下 批评你的作品

　　I can't comment without violating our agreement that i'll not criticize your work.

　　那你还说"老天爷"

　　Then what was "Oh, boy"?

　　我已经相当克制自己了

　　Great restraint on my part.

　　我的科学研究没有问题

　　There's nothing wrong with the science here.

　　你所谓的"科学研究"  跟我的相比

　　Perhaps you mean a different thing than I do

　　相差甚远吧

　　when you say, "Science."

　　这样呢

　　Okay, how's that?

　　其实刚刚的才是对的

　　You actually had it right in the first place.

　　你又掉进我的 经典恶作剧陷阱了

　　Once again, you've fallen for one of my classic pranks.

　　气死你

　　Bazinga!

　　收到一封很怪的邮件

　　Now here's a peculiar e-mail.

　　大学校长要我明天早上8点

　　The president of the university wants me to meet him

　　去他办公室见他

　　at his office tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m.

　　-为什么  -没说

　　- Why? - It doesn't say.

　　肯定是紧急事件

　　It must be an emergency.

　　大学里的人都知道  我8点吃早餐

　　Everyone at the university knows I eat breakfast at 8:00

　　8点20肠胃开始消化

　　and move my bowels at 8:20.

　　没用啁啾鸟网站前过的是什么日子

　　Yes, how did we live before Twitter?

　　明天早上就知道什么事了

　　I guess you'll find out what it is in the morning.

　　还要14个小时呢

　　That's 14 hours away.

　　接下来840分钟

　　For the next 840 minutes,

　　我会像海森堡的粒子

　　I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles;

　　只知道自己的地点或移动速度

　　I know where I am or I know how fast I'm going,

　　但却不能同时知道两者

　　but I can't know both.

　　那我怎么受得了

　　Yet how am I supposed to carry on

　　这些恼人的东西老在我脑子里乱转

　　with this huge annoying thing hovering over my head?

　　我很清楚这种感觉

　　Yeah, I know the feeling.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard? Leonard?

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　谢尔顿  现在是早上2点啊

　　Sheldon, it's 2:00 in the morning.

　　怎么每个人都跟我说现在几点

　　Why is everybody keep telling me what time it is?

　　每个人

　　Everybody?

　　你  大学校长 还有他妻子

　　You, the president of the university, his wife,

　　他们气急败坏的女儿

　　their sullen teenage daughter.

　　他们全家都对现在几点 别人知不知道很感兴趣

　　That entire family is fascinated by what time it is and whether people know it.

　　你居然在半夜跑去 塞伯特校长家

　　You went to President Seibert's house in the middle of the night?

　　他没回复我的邮件

　　He didn't respond to my e-mail,

　　我又不知道他的电话

　　his phone number is unlisted.

　　那我还能怎么办

　　Tell me what my other option was.

　　你可以等到早上啊

　　You could have waited until morning.

　　对  对于你是不可能

　　I know, look who I'm talking to.

　　你还记得我向

　　Do you remember the grant proposal I submitted

　　国家科学基金会提交的 申请去北极勘测

　　to the National Science Foundation to detect slow-moving monopoles

　　慢速磁单极子的申请吗

　　at the magnetic North Pole?

　　一天不记都不行呢

　　Hardly a day goes by when I don't think about it.

　　你真好

　　Aw, how nice.

　　基金会的北极考察队员

　　Well, a space opened up

　　确定最后一刻  空出了空位

　　at the last minute on the NSF expedition to the Arctic Circle.

　　等等

　　Wait a minute.

　　他批准让你去北极

　　He offered to send you to the North Pole?

　　对

　　Yes.

　　他还相当热情呢

　　In fact, he was quite enthusiastic.

　　他说"坦白说"

　　He said, "Frankly,

　　"我巴不得今晚就送你去"

　　if I could send you tonight, I would."

　　那你想去吗

　　Okay, well, do you want to go?

　　当然不想

　　Of course not.

　　我是理论物理学家

　　I'm a theoretical physicist.

　　我选这个职业完全出于能在家办公

　　A career I chose in no small part because it's indoors,

　　但如果我能在北极 勘测出慢速磁单极子

　　but if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there,

　　我就能成为证明弦理论的科学家

　　I will be the scientis to confirm string theory.

　　人们会写书赞扬我

　　People will write books about me.

　　三年级学生会做意粉画 描绘我的一生呢

　　Third-graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.

　　当然  说不定画个我揍死你的场景

　　Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death.

　　冷嘲热讽?

　　Sarcasm?

　　有可能

　　Maybe.

　　真叫人难以取舍

　　I'm on the horns of a dilemma.

　　你能想象我  谢尔顿·库珀  在北极吗

　　Can you imagine me, Sheldon Cooper, at the North Pole?

　　小菜一碟  我现在就想着呢

　　Easy peasy, I'm doing it right now.

　　但我怕冷啊  莱纳德

　　I'm not good with cold, Leonard.

　　我们都多少次因为我喝冰吸太快

　　How often have we had to leave a movie theater

　　结果头疼

　　because I got a headache

　　提前离开电影院了

　　from drinking the Icee too fast?

　　我不能去

　　I can't go.

　　那就别去

　　Well, then don't go.

　　你怎么能这么说

　　How can you say that?

　　难得的科学机遇就在眼前

　　The scientific opportunity of a lifetime

　　我最好的朋友却让我不要去

　　presents itself and my best friend says "Don't go."

　　那就去呗

　　All right, then go.

　　听听你说的话

　　Listen to you.

　　我怎么去啊

　　How can I possibly go?

　　谢尔顿  我到底要说什么

　　Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now

　　才能结束这个话题  让我回去睡觉

　　to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?

　　真奇怪  塞伯特校长也这么问我

　　Odd, President Seibert posed the exact same question.

　　结果呢

　　How was it resolved?

　　没结果  她妻子放狗咬我 结果没下文了

　　It wasn't. His wife set their dogs on me and rendered the question moot.

　　想象一下  如果他答应了

　　Just imagine. If he says yes,

　　我们就能享受整个没谢尔顿的夏天

　　we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.

　　我们能去户外玩儿

　　We could play outside.

　　我们能坐在沙发左边

　　We could sit on the left side of the couch.

　　我能在8点20上厕所

　　I could use the bathroom at 8:20.

　　我们的梦想真渺小啊

　　Our dreams are very small, aren't they?

　　好消息  先生们  我暂时接受了

　　Good news, gentlemen, I have tentatively accepted...

　　好耶

　　Yeah!

　　加入北极考察队的邀请

　　...the invitation to join the Arctic Expedition.

　　-没有你怎么行  -祝马到成功

　　- It's not gonna be the same without you. - Godspeed.

　　谢谢 但别高兴得太早

　　Thank you, but your sentiments may be premature.

　　我有不祥的预感

　　Ooh, I don't like where this is going.

　　我正式提议

　　I would like to propose...

　　你们三个和我一起去

　　that the three of you accompany me.

　　去北极?

　　To the North Pole?

　　是滴

　　Yes.

　　是为了确保你走后 我们不会碰你的东西么

　　Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?

　　我承认我是有此顾虑

　　I'll admit that was a concern.

　　但事实是

　　But the fact is,

　　我需要一个团队协助我

　　I'll need a support team.

　　你们三个呢

　　And the three of you

　　是我的最佳人选

　　are my first choice.

　　真的

　　Really?

　　的确有很多人比你们更加够格

　　Well, there are others who might be more qualified,

　　但一想到要面试他们我就胃疼

　　but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomachache.

　　我知道这个提议比较重大

　　Now, I know I'm proposing an enormous undertaking,

　　你们花几分钟讨论一下吧

　　so why don't you take a few moments to discuss it?

　　我们不会真要和他

　　We're not really gonna go to the North Pole

　　跑去北极吧

　　with him, are we?

　　我现在还能听得到

　　I'm still within earshot!

　　你们得等我把门关上

　　You may want to wait for my door to close.

　　我们不会真要和他

　　We're not really gonna go

　　跑去北极吧

　　to the North Pole with him, are we?

　　等下  咱们想想

　　Hang on. Let's talk about it.

　　这是国家科学基金探险项目

　　This is a National Science Foundation expedition.

　　咱们怎么能拒绝呢

　　I don't know how we can turn it down.

　　简单  不是说我们不想参加基金探险项目

　　Easy. Instead of saying, "No, we don't want to go on an NSF expedition,"

　　而是我们不想花

　　say, "No, we don't want to spend

　　跟一个疯子杵在北极圈的小木屋里

　　"three months stuck in a cabin in the Arctic Circle

　　长达三个月

　　with an anal nutbag."

　　但如果我们能成为证实弦理论团队的一员

　　But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory,

　　我们就能去任何大学城的酒吧免费喝酒

　　we could drink for free in any bar in any college town

　　只要那个大学有比较强的科学研究组织

　　with a university that has a strong science program.

　　霍华德  这可是重大科研项目

　　Howard, this is big science.

　　你可以成为那个组建仪器的工程师

　　You could be the engineer who builds the equipment

　　我们能因此上杂志封面呢

　　that puts us on the cover of magazines.

　　我也可以成为那个造出一把弩弓

　　I could also be the engineer

　　用来射杀谢尔顿的工程师

　　who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

　　你仍然可能因此上杂志

　　You still might get on a magazine.

　　你们俩真的慎重考虑过了

　　So you guys are seriously considering this?

　　-是的  -你们觉得能受得了谢尔顿

　　- Yes. - And you think you can put up with Sheldon?

　　我是印度人嘛

　　Well, I'm a Hindu.

　　我的信仰告诉我  今生的苦难

　　My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life

　　来世将转为福音

　　we are rewarded in the next.

　　和谢尔顿在北极历练三个月

　　Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon,

　　我能重生成一个身材火爆又会飞的亿万富翁

　　and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!