It was the only way to make him happy.

　　可是你干嘛非要让他高兴呢

　　Well,why'd you have to make him happy?

　　因为他不高兴的时候  我们都想杀了他

　　Because when he wasn't happy, we wanted to kill him.

　　我们甚至有过计划

　　There was even a plan.

　　我们打算把他的炉子扔到外头

　　We were going to throw his kindle outside,

　　等他出去捡的时候  把门锁上冻死他

　　and when he went to get it,lock the door and let him freeze to death.

　　这听起来有点过分吧

　　That seems like a bit of an overreaction.

　　这不是  过分的计划是把你四肢绑到

　　No,the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs

　　四队雪撬狗上  然后大喊"驾"

　　to four different sled dog teams and yell,"Mush."

　　听者  我们保存了原始数据

　　Look,we kept the original data.

　　你还是可以发表你的结果

　　You can still publish the actual results.

　　但是本来的结果失败了啊

　　Yes,but the actual results are unsuccessful

　　而我已经给大学里所有人发了电邮

　　and I've already sent an e-mail to everyone at the university

　　告诉他们我证实了弦理论

　　explaining that I have confirmed string theory

　　并且永远地改变了人类对宇宙的认识

　　and forever changed man's understanding of the universe.

　　啊  真是  唉  你也许不该这么做的

　　Aw,see,yeah,you probably shouldn't have done that.

　　那就再写一封  告诉他们真相

　　So write another e-mail. Set the record straight.

　　没什么大不了的

　　It's no big deal.

　　你说得对  莱纳德

　　You're right,Leonard.

　　没什么大不了的

　　It's not a big deal.

　　你不过是欺骗了我  摧毁了我的梦想

　　All you did was lie to me,destroy my dream

　　并且在全校人面前羞辱了我

　　and humiliate me in front of the whole university.

　　这个  告诉你  是讽刺

　　That,FYI,was sarcasm.

　　事实上  我相信这是很大很大的事情

　　I,in fact,believe it is a big deal.

　　哦  多可怜啊

　　Oh,the poor thing.

　　是啊  我很难过

　　Yeah,I feel terrible.

　　等等  你不去跟他谈谈吗

　　Wait wait,aren't you going to go talk to him?

　　什么  呃  他没事的

　　What? Uh,he'll be fine.

　　那家伙很坚强的  过来么

　　The guy's a trooper. Come here.

　　你说的对  你是不该跟他谈

　　No,you're right-- you shouldn't talk to him.

　　该我来

　　I will.

　　天哪  我怎么就没一点好运呢

　　Man,I cannot catch a break.

　　想聊聊吗

　　Do you want to talk?

　　聊什么

　　About what?

　　聊我是怎么被朋友欺骗的吗

　　Being betrayed by my friends?

　　毫无意义地在北极呆了三个月

　　Spending three months at the North Pole for nothing?

　　我连动漫展都没去成

　　And I didn't even get to go to Comic-Con!

　　哦  亲爱...

　　Oh,hon...

　　嗯  软软的猫猫  温温的猫猫...

　　Uh... Soft kitty,warm kitty...

　　那是我生病时候唱的  伤心不是生病

　　That's for when I'm sick. Sad is not sick.

　　对不起

　　Oh. Sorry.

　　我不知道你伤心的歌啊

　　I don't know your sad song.

　　我没有伤心的歌  我又不是小孩儿

　　I don't have a sad song. I'm not a child.

　　你知道么  我其实理解你的心情

　　Well,you know,I do understand what you're going through.

　　真的吗

　　Really?

　　你刚刚被人抢走了服务员的

　　Did you just have the Nobel Prize in waitressing

　　诺贝尔奖吗

　　stolen from you?

　　没有  不过我高三的时候

　　Well,no,but when I was a senior in high school,

　　我的一个朋友听说

　　one of my friends heard

　　我会被选为啦啦队的队长

　　I was going to be named head cheerleader.

　　哦  我那个高兴啊

　　Oh,I was so excited.

　　我妈甚至给我烤了一个庆祝馅饼

　　My mom even made me a celebration pie.

　　结果他们把队长给了那个笨透了的瓦丽瑞?马斯巴赫

　　Then they named stupid Valerie Mosbacher head cheerleader.

　　那个贱货

　　Big old slutbag.

　　你是说你认为"庆祝馅饼"能跟诺贝尔奖相提并论吗

　　Are you saying that you think a "celebtion pie" is even remotely comparable to a Nobel Prize?

　　嗯  那馅饼很好吃呢

　　Well,they're pretty tasty.

　　还有一个不同的  但并非完全无关的事情

　　And on a different,but not unrelated topic,

　　就看你现在对我的鼓励方式

　　based on your current efforts to buoy my spirits,

　　你难道真相信你能胜任拉拉队长的工作吗

　　do you truly believe that you were ever fit to be a cheer leader?

　　听着  谢尔顿  我只是不认为莱纳德他们真想伤害你

　　Look,Sheldon,I just don't think that the guys and Leonard really meant to hurt you.

　　你明白吗  他们只是为了摆脱困境而撒了个很糟的谎

　　You know? They just told an unfortunate lie to deal with a difficult situation.

　　好吧  你知道是什么样吗

　　Okay,you know what it's like?

　　记得那个新的《星际迷航》电影里

　　Remember that scene in the new Star Trek movie

　　柯克要占领飞船

　　when Kirk has to take over the ship,

　　他就对史波克说了很多谎

　　so he tells Spock all that stuff he knew wasn't true,

　　比如说史波克不在乎他妈妈的死之类的

　　like saying Spock didn't care his mom died?

　　我错过了动漫展  连新的《星际迷航》电影也错过啦

　　I missed Comic- Con and the new Star Trek movie!

　　我喜欢你的新造型

　　I like the new look.

　　谢谢

　　Thanks.

　　我称之为"克鲁尼" [著名演员]

　　I call it "the Clooney."

　　我称之为"玛丽和路易" [超级玛丽游戏系列]  不过无所谓

　　I call it "the Mario and Luigi but whatever.

　　嘿 谢尔顿怎么样了

　　Hey,how's sheldon doing?

　　他早上从他房间出来 时带着黑武士头盔想用“能量”砍死我

　　Well,he came out of his room this morning wearing his Darth Vader helmet and trying to chop me to death with the "force"

　　所以我觉得他好点了

　　so I would say "a little better."

　　请原谅我突然改变我们的话题

　　If I may abruptly change the subject,

　　你最终有没有跟佩妮那样

　　did you and Penny finally... you know.

　　-霍华德 -我本人是不关心

　　- Howard... - Personally,I don't care, but my genitals wanted me to ask.

　　但是我的小弟弟叫我问你，告诉你的小弟弟我跟佩妮的进展不关他的事

　　Well tell your genitals what I do with Penny is none of their business.

　　他说他们没发生那种事

　　He says they didn't do it.

　　谢尔顿 这边

　　Sheldon,over here.

　　你在做什么

　　What are you doing?

　　我替他难过

　　well,I feel bad for the guy.

　　谢尔顿 你为什么单独坐在那里

　　Sheldon,why are you sitting by yourself?

　　因为我没有朋友

　　Because I am without friends.

　　我就像德国童谣唱的奶酪一样  独自生存

　　Like the proverbial cheese,I stand alone.

　　[德语]独自就座

　　Evenhile seated.

　　拜托 我们向你道歉了

　　Come on. We said we we sorry.

　　你的一句"我很抱歉"和从佩妮店里面买的道歉馅饼都不能抵消你们对我犯下的罪行

　　It's going to take more than an "I'm sorry"and a store-bought apology pie from Penny to make up for what you've done to me.

　　嘿 库珀

　　Hey,Cooper.

　　我看到了你发的收回信

　　Read your retraction email.

　　这下你的名誉可毁了

　　Way to destroy your reputation.

　　看到了吧

　　You see?

　　整个早上人们一直指指点点嘲笑我

　　People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning.

　　不光是今天早上

　　That's not true.

　　人们一直都在指指点点嘲笑你

　　People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life.

　　好了 我受够了

　　All right,I've had enough.

　　各位请注意

　　Attention,everyone.

　　我是谢尔顿?库珀博士

　　I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

　　正如你们中的许多来自物理系的人所知

　　As many of you in the physics department might know,

　　我的事业轨迹出现了小小的曲折

　　my career trajectory has taken a minor detour.

　　坠下了悬崖

　　Off a cliff.

　　我的名誉多少受到了点损坏

　　My credibility may have been damaged

　　彻底损坏了

　　Completely wrecked.

　　但是我想提醒各位的是

　　But I would like to remind you that in science,

　　在科学领域不存在失败

　　there's no such thing as failure.

　　曾有一个人因为

　　There once was a man who was referred to his prediction

　　他对一个宇宙常数的预测而被称为他事业中的最大错误

　　of a cosmological constant as the single "biggest blunder"

　　这个人的名字就是

　　of his career. That man's name was--

　　你们猜  你们猜

　　surprise,surprise--

　　爱因斯坦

　　Albert Einstein.

　　但是暗能量的研究

　　Yeah,but research into Dark Energy

　　证明爱因斯坦的宇宙常数

　　proved that Einstein's cosmological constant

　　是一直正确的  所以你仍然是一个

　　was actually right all along,so you're still--

　　你们猜  你们猜

　　surprise,surprise--

　　失败者

　　a loser.

　　哦  你以为你很聪明

　　Oh,you think you're so clever.

　　但是  让我来告诉你

　　Well,let me just tell you,

　　虽然我现在想不出尖刻的话来反驳你

　　while I do not currently have a scathing retort,

　　但我想到之后会发邮件给你的

　　you check your e-mail periodically for a doozy.

　　我们和谢尔顿的友谊算是完了

　　So much for our friendship with Sheldon.

　　不过暖气停了的那晚将会一直留在我们的记忆中

　　Well,we always have the night the heat went out.

　　-嗨 -嘿

　　- Hi.  - Hey.

　　以为我们昨天晚上被打断了

　　Listen,since we got,you know,interrupted last night,

　　我没找到机会给你这个

　　I didn't have a chance to give you this.

　　哦  莱纳德  你不用这样的

　　Oh,Leonard,you shouldn't have.

　　哦  天哪

　　Oh,boy!

　　这是什么

　　What is it?

　　一片雪花

　　It's a snowflake.

　　北极的雪花

　　From the North Pole.

　　真的吗

　　Are you serious?