How much time do we have?

　　倒数5小时37分钟

　　Uh,T-minus five hours,37 minutes

　　流星雨开始

　　to onset of meteor shower.

　　我们的位置是北纬34.48°  西经118.21°

　　Okay,our position is 34.48 degrees north,118.31 west.

　　这意味着方位角应该是...

　　That means the azimuth should be...

　　相对磁北168.22°

　　168.22 degrees relative to magnetic north

　　外加仰角49.93°

　　with an elevation of 49.93.

　　有什么了吗

　　Anything yet?

　　我们有信号  却不能锁定坐标

　　Uh,we have a signal,but there's no frame lock.

　　等等  现在如何

　　Hang on. How about... now?

　　我们成功了

　　We did it.

　　我们收到西海岸HBO电视台的信号了

　　We have the West Coast feed of HBO.

　　哇  《真实性爱》

　　Ooh,Real Sex.

　　这可好看了  每次我看这节目

　　Big deal. Every time I watch that show,

　　都是个老女人往黄瓜上套安全套

　　it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers.

　　那好  让我们来看看东海岸在播什么

　　All right,let's see what's on the East Coast feed.

　　喔  是《沙丘》

　　Oh,hey. Dune.

　　不算是个好电影

　　Not a great movie,

　　但看看这美丽的沙漠啊

　　but look at that beautiful desert.

　　谢尔顿不能来真可惜

　　Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us.

　　没有他在感觉有点不大对头

　　Yeah,it's just not the same without him.

　　这电影太烂了  我换回去看《真实性爱》

　　Oh,this sucks. I'm switching back to Real Sex.

　　谢尔顿日志

　　Sheldon's log.

　　星历63345.3

　　Stardate 63345.3.

　　当我的同事们离开

　　While my colleagues are off

　　去观测狮子座流星雨时

　　observing the Leonid meteor shower,

　　我留守后方完成我关于

　　I have remained behind to complete my paper

　　高激发态大质量弦状态衰变的论文

　　on the decays of highly excited massive string states.

　　尽管我的研究进展顺利

　　Although my research is going well,

　　我确实很想念人类陪伴的温暖

　　I do miss the warmth of human companionship.

　　晚上好  暹罗宫

　　And good evening to you,Siam Palace.

　　我是谢尔顿?库珀

　　This is Sheldon Cooper.

　　我今晚要孤独一人进餐

　　Yeah,I'm going to be dining alone this evening,

　　所以我要减少通常的菜单

　　so I'll be reducing my usual order.

　　我的前菜要四分之一份

　　I'd like to start with one quarter

　　什锦小吃

　　of the Assorted Appetizers Plate

　　然后要两人份的金宝贝的一半

　　and,uh,one half of the Golden Treasure for two.

　　看在老天的份上  在18世纪中页

　　Oh,for heaven's sake. In the mid-18th century,

　　暹罗国王拉玛四世将巨大的帝国

　　King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire

　　割让给了欧洲的各大殖民势力

　　amongst the colonial powers of Europe

　　目的是为了保住王位

　　in order to preserve his throne.

　　理所当然的  你  他的文化继承者

　　Surely,you,his cultural descendant,

　　也能搞定这些泰式炒面和饺子

　　can handle pad Thai and dumplings.

　　谢尔顿  救命

　　Sheldon,help!

　　我要挂了  但是记住我在yelp.com那些

　　I need to go-- but you keep in mind

　　关于一家本地松饼店

　　that my sharply worded comments

　　言辞尖锐的评论

　　on Yelp.com recently took down a local muffin store.

　　佩妮  佩妮  佩妮

　　Penny. Penny. Penny.

　　进来  快点

　　Come in! Hurry!

　　佩妮

　　Penny?

　　我在里面

　　I'm back here.

　　佩妮  佩妮  佩妮

　　Penny. Penny. Penny.

　　哦  老天  我在浴室里

　　Oh,for God's sakes,I'm in the bathroom!

　　我该挑个更恰当的时机再来吗

　　Shall I come back at a better time?

　　给我进来

　　Get in here!

　　快点

　　Hurry!

　　你敢再敲门试试

　　Don't you dare knock!

　　你好

　　Hello.

　　我在浴缸里滑倒了

　　I slipped in the shower,

　　我觉得肩膀好像脱臼了

　　and I think I dislocated my shoulder.

　　这不奇怪

　　Not surprising.

　　你没有装防滑垫或者防滑贴纸

　　You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers

　　来抵消浴缸表面的

　　to allow for purchase on a surface

　　很低的静摩擦系数

　　with a low coefficient of static friction.

　　什么

　　What?

　　浴缸都很滑的

　　Tubs are slippery.

　　我知道  我滑倒了

　　I know. I slipped.

　　我有一个系列的古怪鸭贴纸

　　I have a series of whimsical duck stickers

　　贴在我的浴缸底部

　　on the bottom of my tub.

　　好吧  无论如何

　　Yeah,okay,whatever.

　　你能把水关掉再扶我起来吗

　　Will you just turn the water off and help me up?

　　他们都撑着伞的

　　They're holding umbrellas.

　　什么

　　What?

　　我浴缸里的鸭子

　　The ducks in my tub.

　　它们怪就怪在这些鸭子既没有需要

　　They're whimsical because ducks have neither a need for,

　　也没有能力来使用雨伞

　　nor the ability to use,umbrellas.

　　上帝啊  我得去急救中心了

　　Oh,my God. I got to go to the emergency room.

　　如果你确定你的右上膊骨

　　Well,assuming you're correct that your right humerus

　　不再固定在肩臼上

　　is no longer seated in the glenoid socket,

　　-我当然认为你该去急救中心  -你能车我去吗

　　- I would certainly think so.  - Okay,can you drive me?

　　我不开车的

　　I don't drive.

　　但我开不了

　　Well,I can't drive!

　　看来我们到达了一个僵局

　　Well,it seems we've reached an impasse.

　　我可以帮你叫辆的士或者救护车

　　I could call you a cab or an ambulance.

　　不 不 不  我等不及了

　　No,no,no. I can't wait that long.

　　你必须得帮我  求你了

　　You got to help me,please.

　　好的  不能让人说谢尔顿?李?库珀

　　All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper

　　是个无视陷入困境的少女的人

　　ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.

　　没人这么说  快走吧

　　No one's saying that. Let's go.

　　因没买99美分的防滑鸭子

　　Well,it does seem rather ironic

　　而导致两个人都可能死于惨烈的车祸

　　that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks,

　　这看上去真是非常讽刺

　　we both might die in a fiery car crash.

　　我真希望佩妮不用去工作

　　I wish Penny didn't have to work.

　　她喜欢野营

　　She loves camping.

　　是啊  那就太好了

　　Yeah,that would have been great.

　　你和佩妮在帐篷里做爱

　　You and Penny having sex in the tent

　　而我则坐在外面看霍华德拿仙人掌爆菊

　　while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.

　　好的  我已经尽力侦查了

　　Okay,the best I can tell,

　　附近还有8个野营地

　　there are eight other campsites nearby.

　　大多都是像我们这样的科学呆子

　　Mostly science nerds like us,

　　不过山脊另一边

　　but just over yon ridge are two

　　有两位不无魅力的中学老师

　　not unattractive middle school teachers

　　浑身散发着绝望主妇的气息

　　who reek of desperation.

　　太好了

　　Wow. Wonderful.

　　-她们多大  -我不知道

　　- How old are they? - I don't know.

　　50岁  55岁吧

　　50,55.

　　更年期妇女

　　Oh,menopause.

　　天然的节育控制

　　Nature's birth control.

　　拜托

　　Come on.

　　你们不会这么饥渴吧

　　You guys can't be that hard up.

　　-我饥渴  -我也是

　　- I am. - Yeah,me,too.

　　看  她们还送了点自制曲奇给我们

　　Look-- they gave me homemade cookies.

　　当然会给

　　Of course,they did.

　　老奶奶都这样

　　That's what grandmothers do.

　　那我们还等什么

　　So,what are we waiting for?

　　悠着点

　　Relax.

　　我说等她们打完盹

　　I said we'd stop by a little later

　　我们再过去

　　after they have their nap.

　　好主意

　　Good idea.

　　睡醒精力比较足

　　They'll be refreshed.

　　吃曲奇吗

　　Cookie?

　　好  谢谢

　　Yeah. Thank you.

　　不错啊

　　Not bad.

　　很好吃啊

　　Yeah,very tasty.

　　再说说那些老师的情况

　　Well,so tell me more about these teachers.

　　没什么了

　　Not much to tell.

　　她们开了辆大众车

　　They had a VW microbus

　　穿着扎染的感恩而死乐队T恤

　　and were wearing tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirts.

　　美味曲奇

　　Good cookies.

　　这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言

　　I see no organizational system in here whatsoever.

　　你周一穿什么内裤

　　Which panties do you wear on Mondays?

　　我不要内裤

　　I don't need panties.

　　只要短裤和衬衫

　　I just need shorts and a shirt.

　　妈妈经常跟我说

　　My mother always told me

　　一个人要穿干净内裤

　　one should wear clean underpants

　　以防发生意外

　　in case one is in an accident.

　　我已经发生意外了

　　One was already in an accident.

　　那不表示不会再发生意外

　　That doesn't mean one won't be in another,

　　尤其是我开车的情况下

　　especially if I'm driving.