Well...

　　-那我该给克瑞普克下毒  -不

　　- I suppose I could poison Kripke. - No!

　　不  这其实很简单

　　No. It's a simple matter.

　　有那么几种有毒化学物

　　There are several toxic chemicals

　　尸检是查不出来的

　　that'd be untraceable in an autopsy.

　　你抓到了要领

　　Okay, uh, that's the spirit,

　　但手段可以温柔点

　　but, um, let's dial it back

　　不要置人于死地

　　to a non-lethal form of vengeance.

　　这样  在他的办公室椅子上弄个放屁垫

　　How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair?

　　他一坐下  听起来就像是有胃气胀

　　He'll sit down, it'll sound like

　　尽管他不是真有胃气胀

　　he's flatulent, even though he's not.

　　还是再想想吧

　　Let's keep thinking.

　　老兄  你可来晚了

　　Oh, gee, you're too late.

　　斯嘉丽?乔纳森和神奇女侠

　　Scarlett Johansson and Wonder Woman were just in here

　　刚在这里轮番歌颂神经质和胆小鬼呢

　　trolling around for neurotic, little weasels.

　　我来找伯纳黛特  她今天上班吗

　　I came to talk to Bernadette. She's working today, right?

　　是啊  但我觉得她不想见你

　　Yes, but I don't think she wants to see you.

　　为啥

　　Why not?

　　得了  霍华德  你伤害了她

　　Come on, Howard. You hurt her feelings

　　一个星期都不给人家电话

　　by not calling her all week.

　　加上我还说了你不少坏话

　　Plus, I've kind of been talkin' some smack about ya.

　　好啊  霍华德

　　Hello, Howard.

　　等下  伯纳黛特  我有话对你说

　　Wait, Bernadette, I need to talk to you.

　　现在不成  我在工作呢

　　I can't now, I'm working.

　　就一会儿

　　This will only take a second.

　　你之前让我好好考虑

　　You asked me to think about where

　　我们之间的关系  好吧我想过了

　　our relationship was going, and I did.

　　伯纳黛特

　　Bernadette?

　　你愿意嫁给我吗

　　Will you marry me?

　　我不明白  这算是玩笑吗

　　Is this more comedy that I don't understand?

　　不  我是认真的

　　No. I'm serious.

　　你是我生命中的唯一

　　I'm never going to find another girl like you

　　重要的是  你是真心喜欢我

　　who likes me and is, you know, real.

　　这不是开玩笑吗

　　So, this isn't a joke?

　　-不是  -那你铁定疯了

　　- No. - Then you're insane.

　　我觉得自己这是突施奇招

　　I prefer to think of myself as quirky.

　　霍华德  我们只约会了三次

　　Howard, we've only been on three dates.

　　甚至还没上过床

　　We haven't even had sex yet.

　　你说得对

　　Fair enough.

　　你什么时候下班

　　When's your break?

　　好事将成  你们嫉妒我了不是

　　Don't you just hate when this happens?

　　好了  用这个来复仇如何

　　All right, how's this for revenge?

　　一剂过氧化氢[双氧水]

　　A solution of hydrogen peroxide,

　　加上一剂饱和碘化钾

　　and one of saturated potassium iodide.

　　这又是什么

　　What's this?

　　山露汽水[碳酸饮料]

　　Mountain Dew.

　　啊  真是提神醒脑

　　Ahh, refreshing.

　　然后将这两样化学制剂  与普通洗碗剂结合

　　We're going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap,

　　就会放热  释放出氧

　　creating a little exothermic release of oxygen.

　　泡沫复仇记

　　Foamy vengeance.

　　完全正确

　　Yes, exactly.

　　谢尔顿  这招实在是高

　　This is brilliant, Sheldon.

　　但你怎么布置到克瑞普克的办公室

　　How are we going to deploy it in Kripke's office?

　　早就布置好了

　　Already taken care of.

　　注意看

　　Observe.

　　通过迷你摄像头拍摄到的克瑞普克实验室实况

　　This is a live shot of Kripke's lab via a mini webcam

　　拜我偷塞到看门人衬衫口袋里的美钞所赐

　　I was able to install, thanks to a dollar bill

　　我才能装了这个迷你摄像头

　　discreetly placed in the night janitor's shirt pocket.

　　与此同时

　　At the same time,

　　还将大量这样的化学制剂

　　I also secured large quantities of these chemicals

　　放到了他的天花板顶上

　　above the tiles in the drop ceiling.

　　哦  谢尔顿

　　Oh, Sheldon,

　　你让我想起年轻时的莱克斯?卢瑟[后成为超人的死敌]

　　you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.

　　您太过奖了  先生

　　You flatter me, sir.

　　-我猜猜  带运动感应器的  -是的

　　- Let me guess: motion sensors? - Yes.

　　一旦克瑞普克走到屋子中间

　　The reaction will be triggered

　　感应器就会触发

　　when Kripke reaches the center of the room.

　　木哈哈

　　Mwah, ha, ha.

　　我不得不承认  我很佩服你

　　I gotta say, I am really impressed.

　　这绝对是谢尔顿式的复仇方式

　　This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even.

　　这招或许技术含量不高

　　It may be low-tech,

　　但我还是坚持认为  放屁坐垫自有其喜剧效应

　　but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity.

　　克瑞普克来了

　　Here comes Kripke!

　　跟他一起的是谁

　　Who is that with him?

　　我想那是我们大学的校长

　　I believe that's the president of the university.

　　还有理事会成员  快中止  中止

　　And the board of directors.Abort! Abort!

　　没有中止程序

　　There is no "abort."

　　你怎么能不设中止程序

　　How could you not put in an "abort?"

　　我疏忽了  好了吧

　　I made a boo-boo, all right?

　　塞伯特校长  相信理事会将很欣慰地看到

　　I think the board will really appreciate

　　我们将国安局的拨款运用得如此之好

　　how well we're using that NSA grant, President Seibert.

　　这里是我们的微电脑控制的等离子...

　　Right here we have a micro-controlled plasma...

　　看上去就像洗衣日那天的恒河

　　Wow. Looks like the Ganges on laundry day.

　　至少他们不知道是你干的

　　At least they don't know it was you.

　　你好  克瑞普克

　　Hello, Kripke.

　　你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧

　　This classic prank comes to you

　　来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿?库珀

　　from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.

　　如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸

　　If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,

　　这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTube

　　this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.

　　并感谢莱纳德?霍夫斯塔德和拉杰?库萨帕里

　　Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali

　　感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励

　　for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.

　　我计划逃回印度去  你呢

　　Well, I'm going back to India.What's your plan?

　　给  7号桌给的小费

　　Hey, here's your tip from table seven.

　　谢谢

　　Oh, thanks.

　　麦克风测试  再次测试

　　Testing. Check.Check two.

　　这回又怎么了

　　Oh, now what?

　　想让我扔他出去吗

　　You want me to throw him out?

　　不用  没事的

　　No, that's okay.

　　你确定  他个子那么小

　　Are you sure? He's small.

　　我打赌我肯定能给他来个漂亮的背摔

　　I bet I can get a nice, tight spiral on him.

　　这一曲  我想献给

　　I want to dedicate this number

　　一位被我伤害了的好姑娘

　　to a great gal who I've done wrong.

　　伯纳黛特[曲调来自The Four Tops乐队的《Bernadette》]

　　Bernadette

　　我感到非常抱歉

　　* I am so sorry for

　　因我向你求婚之事

　　* Trying to propose to you

　　伯纳黛特

　　* Bernadette

　　你觉得我行事疯狂

　　* You found it creepy

　　但那就是我的风格

　　* But that's just the kind of thing I do *

　　我知道现在说爱还太早

　　* I know now it was too soon to talk of love *

　　那只是我泡澡时突发的奇想

　　* It was just a crazy idea that came to me in my tub *

　　但伯纳黛特  请再给我一次机会

　　* But, Bernadette, give me one more chance *

　　亲爱的伯纳黛特

　　* Sweet Bernadette

　　我保证很快找到窍门

　　* I'll get the hang of this thing *

　　找到浪漫的窍门  亲爱的伯纳黛特

　　* They call romance, Sweet Bernadette *

　　我梦想着能够再一次

　　* I dream to once again

　　吻上你的双唇  亲爱的伯纳黛特

　　* Kiss your lips, Sweet Bernadette *

　　您的裙下之臣

　　* Sincerely yours

　　霍华德?沃罗威茨

　　* Howard Wolowitz

　　伯纳黛特

　　* Bernadette...

　　-实在听不下去了  -你开什么玩笑

　　- Oh, I am so sorry. - Are you kidding?

　　那是别人为我所做的  最浪漫的事

　　That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.

　　伯纳黛特  谢谢芝士蛋糕工厂

　　* Bernadette!  Thank you, Cheesecake Factory!