Oh,I always tear up

　　涨大三倍的时候  我都止不住要流泪

　　When the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.

　　流泪是应该的

　　Tears seem appropriate.

　　心肌的扩张

　　Enlargement of the heart muscle,

　　或是肥大型心肌病  都是重病

　　Or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy,is a serious disease

　　会引起充血性心力衰竭

　　which could lead to congestive heart failure.

　　你不喜欢他是吧  谢尔顿

　　You really didn't like it,Sheldon?

　　不  正相反

　　No,on the contrary.

　　我认为格林奇是个体贴又迷人的角色

　　I found the Grinch to be a relatable,engaging character.

　　而且我十分赞赏

　　And I was really with him right up to the point

　　他屈从于社会习俗

　　that he succumbed to social convention

　　回赠礼物  拯救了圣诞节的行为

　　And returned the presents and saved Christmas.

　　多么扫兴啊

　　What a buzz kill that was.

　　我们看《圣诞雪人》的时候  他赞成出太阳

　　When we watch Frosty the Snowman,he roots for the sun.

　　请注意

　　Excuse me,

　　太阳是万物之必需

　　But the sun is essential for all life on Earth.

　　而圣诞雪人只是一个

　　Frosty is merely

　　冰雪构成的怪物  瞬息即逝  还戴着偷来的帽子

　　A bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat.

　　那是犯罪  而且居然从没有人为此指责他

　　A crime,by the way,for which he is never brought to account.

　　我超爱装饰圣诞树

　　I just love decorating the Christmas tree.

　　感觉自己又回到了小时候

　　It makes me feel like a little girl again.

　　我小时候家里没有圣诞树

　　We didn't have a tree when I was growing up.

　　真的吗  为什么

　　Really? Why not?

　　在我家

　　Mmm,in my family,

　　节日通常是用来研究人类社会中

　　Holidays weren't so much celebrated as studied

　　它们起到的人类学和心理学意义

　　For their anthropological and psychological implications

　　而不是用来庆祝的

　　On human society.

　　真有节日气氛

　　Oh,sounds festive.

　　那你们总会互赠礼物吧

　　Did you at least give presents?

　　某种程度上

　　Mmm,in a way.

　　我们互赠研究论文

　　We presented papers.

　　然后分小组讨论  再相互评论

　　And then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.

　　谢尔顿  你呢

　　Sheldon,what about you?

　　你家有圣诞树吗

　　Did you have a Christmas tree?

　　当然有

　　Oh,yes.

　　有圣诞树  有马槽

　　We had a tree,we had a manger,

　　草坪上还有一个充气圣诞老人

　　We had an inflatable Santa Claus

　　身前站着一只塑料驯鹿

　　with plastic reindeer on the front lawn.

　　为了增添欢乐气氛

　　And to make things even more jolly,

　　房子的周围还有一闪一闪的灯光

　　there were so many blinking lights on the house

　　引得周围邻居纷纷来偷

　　They induced neighborhood-wide seizures.

　　所以我猜你不想帮我们装饰圣诞树咯

　　So I take it you don't want to help us trim the tree.

　　不想

　　I do not.

　　但如果你坚持

　　But if you insist

　　把一个爬满蜘蛛的的易燃物放在我家

　　on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home

　　我要求你把这个加上

　　I would request that you add this.

　　那是什么

　　What is it?

　　你是在开玩笑吗

　　You're kidding,right?

　　这是牛顿爵士的半身像

　　It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.

　　没错  是的

　　Oh,sure,sure.

　　很有圣诞气息

　　Very Christmasy.

　　不  应该是比你挂在那棵树上的

　　Wait,excuse me,but it's much

　　其他东西都更有圣诞气息

　　more "Christmasy" than anything you've put on the tree.

　　又开始了

　　Here we go.

　　公历1642年12月25日

　　December 25,1642,Julian calendar,

　　艾萨克?牛顿爵士诞生

　　Sir Isaac Newton is born.

　　而另一方面  耶稣其实夏天出生的

　　Jesus,on the other hand,was actually born in the summer

　　他的生日被改到了

　　His birthday was moved

　　和异教徒某个传统节日的同一天

　　to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday

　　那一天本该要点起篝火

　　that celebrated the winter solstice

　　屠宰山羊  庆祝冬至

　　with lit fires and slaughtered goats.

　　老实说

　　Which,frankly,

　　那会比和我妈妈在教堂待上12小时

　　sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother

　　然后回来吃水果蛋糕要有趣得多

　　followed by a fruitcake.

　　祝大家"牛诞快乐"

　　Merry Newton-mas,everyone.

　　虽然说不上原因  但我觉得你这祝福并不真诚

　　I sense that's not sincere,although I have no idea why.

　　没事的  牛顿爵士可以

　　No,it's fine. Look,Sir Issac can go

　　跟这个拐杖糖挂在一起

　　right next to this little candy cane.

　　不行  牛顿要放在树的顶端

　　No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.

　　不  不行

　　No,he doesn't.

　　我明白

　　I understand.

　　你是因为牛顿声称  是他发明了微积分而抵触他

　　You dispute Newton's claim that he invented calculus

　　你想要把莱布尼茨[德数学家]挂在树顶

　　and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top.

　　没错  被你发现了

　　Yeah,you got me.

　　我支持莱布尼茨

　　I'm a Leibniz man.

　　也许等你妈妈来了之后

　　Well,perhaps when your mother gets here,

　　她能启发你清醒一点

　　she'll talk some sense into you.

　　什么

　　What?

　　你妈妈要来  什么时候

　　Your-your mother's coming? When?

　　明天

　　Tomorrow.

　　那你打算什么时候告诉我

　　When were you going to tell me?

　　明天吧

　　Um... tomorrow?

　　你为什么要对我保密

　　Why were you keeping this a secret?

　　我只是  只是想

　　Well,I just-- I thought...

　　我能打断一下吗

　　If I can interject here,

　　很显然  莱纳德是担心

　　Obviously Leonard is concerned

　　怕他妈妈不会赞成你做他的伴侣

　　that his mother won't approve of you as his mate.

　　为什么她会不赞成

　　Why wouldn't she approve of me?

　　我很招人喜欢啊

　　I'm adorable.

　　你确实是  只是

　　You are,it's just...

　　我能再打断一下吗

　　If I can interject again.

　　莱纳德的家人都很优秀  成绩斐然

　　Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family,

　　他们选择的伴侣也都很优秀

　　who have all chosen high-achieving partners.

　　他可能是觉得

　　He probably feels

　　他妈妈很难认同

　　that it's doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed

　　他跟一个  生平最高成就

　　with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement

　　就是背下芝士蛋糕工厂菜单的女人约会

　　is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.

　　那可是份很长的菜单

　　Hey,it's a big menu.

　　光甜点就有两页

　　There's two pages just for desserts.

　　我知道

　　I know.

　　还有每天一换的当日特餐

　　And those specials-- they change every day.

　　好吧  我自己说起来就够废了

　　Okay,you know what? It's lame when I say it.

　　-你还添油加醋就更差了  -好吧

　　- It's just ridiculous when you pile on. - Okay.

　　抱歉

　　Sorry.

　　你跟她说我们在交往  她是怎么说的

　　So what did she say when you told her we were going out?

　　嗯...

　　Um...

　　你没告诉她我们在交往  是吧

　　You didn't tell her we were going out,did you?

　　嗯...

　　Um...

　　为什么不告诉她

　　Why not?

　　-嗯...  -莱纳德

　　- Um... - Leonard...

　　冥想我并不擅长

　　I'm no expert on meditation,

　　但如果你想要冷静下来

　　but if you're trying to calm yourself down,

　　我想最好说"唵"[印度教咒语]

　　I believe the word is "Om."

　　你远道来机场接我

　　It was so nice of you

　　真是太贴心了

　　to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.

　　这没什么的

　　No trouble at all.

　　是我开的车  妈妈

　　I drove,Mother.

　　现在也是我在开

　　I'm driving now.

　　没错  宝贝  你真是妈妈的骄傲

　　Yes,dear. Mommy's proud.

　　我一直很想感谢你

　　I've been meaning to thank you

　　为我的论文加的注解

　　for your notes on my paper

　　证明了量子脑动力学理论的荒谬

　　disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.

　　我很荣幸

　　My pleasure.

　　作为非物理学家

　　For a non-physicist,

　　您对大脑水分子中的电偶极子

　　you have a remarkable grasp

　　难以形成玻色凝聚物的原因

　　of how electric dipoles in the brain's water molecules

　　理解得非常到位

　　could not possibly form a Bose condensate.

　　等等

　　Wait,wait,wait.

　　你什么时候给我妈论文加的注解

　　When did you send my mom notes on a paper?

　　8月16日

　　August 16.

　　就在她做完腕管综合症手术之后

　　Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.

　　-我谢过你送的花了吗  -谢过了

　　- Oh,did I thank you for the flowers? - You did.

　　其实我并不喜欢花

　　I don't really like flowers.

　　我也不喜欢  但那是社会习俗

　　Neither do I,but it's the social convention.

　　是啊  没错

　　It is,isn't it?

　　等等  你动过手术

　　Wait,wait,wait. You had surgery?

　　是的  谢尔顿还送了花

　　Yes,and Sheldon sent me flowers.

　　我听到了

　　No,I heard that.

　　那你还"等等"什么

　　Then what was all that "wait,wait,wait" about?

　　我只是没搞明白

　　I just don't understand

　　他怎么比我还了解你的生活

　　why he knows more about your life than I do.

　　我认为是由于我和谢尔顿

　　Well,I would assume it's because Sheldon

　　因共同的兴趣和对彼此的尊重而时常联系

　　and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect,

　　而你却因你那

　　while you avoid me,

　　无法释怀的童年阴影  总是躲着我

　　due to unresolved childhood issues.

　　我们认为正是这一点

　　It's what we think

　　引起了你的自恋型人格障碍

　　caused your narcissistic personality disorder.

　　我们上次视频聊天时详细地探讨了这个问题

　　We discussed it at length during our last video chat.

　　虽然不知道为什么会提到你

　　Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling.

　　没错  既然我们又提到了

　　Yes,but we are on the subject,

　　所以我不得不问一下

　　so I'm obliged to ask.

　　莱纳德  最近过得怎样

　　Leonard,how are you?

　　挺好  妈妈  你呢

　　Fine,Mom. How are you?

　　我绝经了

　　Mmm,menopausal.

　　现在我不怎么好了

　　Now I'm less fine.

　　你弟弟订婚了  你听说了吗

　　Have you heard your brother has gotten engaged?

　　没

　　No.

　　谢尔顿  你给我讲讲吧

　　Sheldon,why didn't you tell me?

　　是我的错

　　My bad.

　　不过我代表我们两人送了礼

　　I did send a gift from both of us.