No,no. This is putting up sheetrock

　　安装石膏板

　　at a housing project in Rosemead.

　　行啊

　　I could do that.

　　-很好  -就一个问题

　　- Good.  - One question.

　　-说  -什么是石膏板

　　- Yes?  - What's sheetrock?

　　过

　　Moving on.

　　花店快递怎么样

　　How about doing deliveries for a florist?

　　听起来还不错

　　That seems acceptable.

　　-你有车吗  -我不开车

　　- Do you have your own car?  - I don't drive.

　　我想也是

　　Of course you don't.

　　库珀先生  我就问你一个问题

　　Mr. Cooper,let me just ask you a question.

　　你上份工作是啥

　　What was your last job?

　　加州理工学院的高级理论粒子物理学家

　　Senior theoretical particle physicist at CalTech,

　　主要致力于M理论研究  外行人说法是弦理论

　　focusing on M theory,or,in layman's terms,string theory.

　　懂了

　　I see.

　　等我一下

　　Just give me a second.

　　保安  这有疯子

　　Security!

　　好的  我先把饮料送上来

　　Okay,I'll get those drinks started for you.

　　小心身后

　　Behind you.

　　谢尔顿  你这是在干嘛

　　Sheldon,what the hell are you doing?

　　我正要去清理桌子

　　I'm trying to get these tables cleared.

　　差点撞上你

　　We're slammed.

　　等等  等等

　　No,wait,wait,no,wait.

　　你在这干嘛呢

　　Wh-What are you doing here?

　　这问题还算合理

　　A reasonable question.

　　我问我自己

　　I asked myself,

　　我能想到最讨厌最沉闷的工作是什么

　　what is the most mind-numbing,pedeststrian job conceivable,

　　有三个答案浮现在脑中

　　and three answers came to mind:

　　收费站工作人员  在苹果专卖店工作的天才

　　uh,toll booth attendant,Apple Store genius...

　　还有佩妮的工作

　　...and what Penny does.

　　现在

　　Now...

　　既然我不喜欢碰别人手里的硬币

　　since I don't like  touching other people's coins,

　　也不想帮着抹黑"天才"这个词

　　and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word "Genius,"

　　所以我来了

　　here I am.

　　你就这么走进来  就被录用了

　　You just,you just walked in and they hired you,

　　就这么简单

　　just like that?

　　当然不是

　　Oh,heavens,no.

　　既然我不领薪水  也就不需被录用

　　Since I don't need to be paid,I didn't need to be hired.

　　我就直接走进来  拿起个托盘

　　I simply came in,picked up a tray,

　　然后开始"为人民服务"

　　and started "Working for the man."

　　请允许我把这个盘子收走

　　Let me get that plate out of your way.

　　-谢尔顿  这太荒谬了  -是吗

　　- Sheldon,this is ridiculous. - Is it?

　　就在刚刚  在刮掉盘子里凝结的玉米脆饼时

　　Just a moment ago,I had a minor epiphany

　　我突然间就顿悟了

　　regarding the polymer degradation phenomenon

　　聚合物降解现象

　　while scraping congealed nachos off a plate.

　　伯纳黛特  10号桌买单

　　Bernadette,table 10 wants their check.

　　谢谢  谢尔顿

　　Thanks,Sheldon.

　　谢尔顿  等等  再说这也不是我的工作

　　Sheldon,wait,this isn't even what I do.

　　我是服务生  不是勤杂工

　　I'm a waitress,not a busboy.

　　你说得对  你的工作更低贱

　　You're right. That is more menial.

　　两位好  我是谢尔顿  负责这桌的服务生

　　Hello,I'm Sheldon. I'll be your server today.

　　不推荐点三文鱼

　　I don't recommend the salmon.

　　我看到它们在厨房的样子

　　I saw it in the kitchen.

　　好了  一份培根芝士汉堡

　　All right,one bacon cheeseburger,

　　同时违背两条犹太饮食禁忌

　　breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously--

　　光荣啊

　　kudos.

　　炸鱼加薯条

　　Beer-battered fish and chips.

　　这里你的鞑靼酱

　　Now,here's your tartar sauce.

　　我还帮你拿了莎莎酱

　　I also brought you salsa.

　　虽然有点不合常规  不过我想你会喜欢的

　　It's a little unconventional,but I think you'll like it.

　　味道很赞

　　It's zingy.

　　还有你的  招牌大玉米煎饼

　　And for you,Factory Burrito Grande--

　　不含芝士和酸奶油

　　no cheese,no sour cream,

　　不会因你的乳糖不耐症产生不良后果

　　no ugly consequences from your lactose intolerance.

　　祝各位好胃口

　　Bon appetit.

　　等等

　　Hang on.

　　-这是黑豆  不是斑豆吧  -对

　　- Black beans,not pinto beans? - Yes.

　　-加双份鳄梨酱  -当然

　　- Double guacamole? - Of course.

　　-没加香菜  -没

　　- No cilantro? - Nope.

　　-生菜是切碎的  而不是剁碎的  -对

　　- Lettuce shredded,not chopped? - Yep.

　　知道我为什么这么问你吗

　　You understand why I'm doing this to you?

　　-知道  -那就这样吧

　　- I do. - That'll be all.

　　这太好玩了

　　That was fun.

　　他还能在这坚持多久

　　How long can he keep this up?

　　听说麻省理工有位教授

　　I heard about this professor at MIT

　　变卖了财产  买了辆货车

　　who melted down,bought a van,

　　余生就做了名流动的狗狗美容师

　　and spent the rest of his life as a mobile dog groomer.

　　就此再也没回过大学了吗

　　He never went back to the university?

　　除了在给项伯格教授的西施犬洗澡的时候

　　Only to shampoo Professor Shamburg's shitzu

　　晕

　　Sheesh.

　　我敢说要是我们一起集资  也能给谢尔顿买辆小货车

　　I bet if we all chipped in,we could buy Sheldon a van.

　　但他怕狗

　　But he's afraid of dogs.

　　是啊  这计划唯一的缺陷就是这个

　　Yeah,that's the only thing wrong with that plan.

　　各位  抱歉久等了  今天太忙了

　　Hey,guys,sorry you had to wait,but we are swamped.

　　这是什么

　　What's this?

　　谢尔顿帮我们点的单

　　Sheldon took our order.

　　谢尔顿又不在这工作

　　Sheldon doesn't work here.

　　亲爱的  我可不是抱怨哈

　　Well,honey,not to complain,

　　但我们开始觉得你也不在这工作了

　　but we were starting to think you didn't either.

　　你们有必要这样对我吗

　　Is that really necessary?

　　天哪

　　Good Lord.

　　整个一断面的干涉图样

　　The interference pattern in the fracture.

　　通过分子结构的波状运动

　　The motion of the wave through the molecular structure.

　　我之前一直想错了

　　I've been looking at it all wrong.

　　不该把电子看成是粒子

　　I can't consider the electrons as particles.

　　他们是波状地通过石墨烯的

　　They move through the graphene as a wave.

　　它是波

　　It's a wave!

　　赶紧滴都给我喝彩啊

　　The moment to applaud would be now.

　　山顶洞人

　　Troglodytes.

　　谢尔顿  你要去哪

　　Sheldon... where are you going?

　　不把这清理干净吗

　　Aren't you going to clean this up?

　　抱歉  我又不在这工作

　　I'm sorry. I don't work here.

　　-这下你开心了  -我都飘飘然了

　　- Happy now? - I'm on a cloud.

　　一起摇摆吧

　　Swing me.

　　谢尔顿  快过来

　　Sheldon,come here.

　　我闪

　　Bazinga.

　　我再闪

　　Bazinga.

　　我瞬移

　　Bazinga.

　　抓不到

　　Bazinga.

　　就是抓不到

　　Bazinga!