Yeah,I miss you,too,sweetie.

　　我得挂了  晚上见吧

　　Listen,I got to go,but I'll see you tonight?

　　好的

　　Okay.

　　拜拜

　　Bye-bye.

　　拜拜

　　Bye-bye.

　　不  你先挂嘛

　　No,you hang up first.

　　喂

　　Hello?

　　老兄  我为你好不容易找到个女朋友而高兴

　　Dude,I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend,

　　但你非得当着我们这些光棍的面

　　but do you have to do all that lovey-dovey stuff

　　玩那套你亲我热的把戏吗

　　in front of those of us who don't?

　　事实上  他也许该当如此

　　Actually,he might have to.

　　在经济学里有种概念被称之为地位商品

　　There's an economic concept known as a positional good

　　它只在持有人手中才能彰显其价值

　　in which an object is only valued by the possessor

　　因为其他人无法拥有

　　because it's not possessed by others.

　　这个词由经济学家弗列得?赫希杜撰于1976年

　　The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch

　　用来取代更口语化  但并不准确的"哦也-哦也"[嘲讽]

　　to replace the more colloquial,but less precise "neener-neener."

　　才不是呢

　　That's not true.

　　我的快乐不是建立于

　　My happiness is not dependent

　　挚友的杯具与孤独之上的

　　on my best friend being miserable and alone.

　　谢谢

　　Thank you.

　　当然  要说我没得儿意地笑肯定是说谎了

　　Although,I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.

　　谁杯具和孤独了

　　Who's miserable and alone?

　　我

　　Me.

　　噢

　　Oh.

　　我以前也这样

　　I used to be like that.

　　直到我有了女朋友

　　Then I got a girlfriend.

　　用1976年之前的话来说  "哦也-哦也"

　　In pre-1976 terms,neener-neener.

　　嘿  你和伯纳黛特准备如何

　　Hey,what are you and Bernadette doing

　　共度你们的第一个情人节

　　for your first Valentine's Day?

　　啊  我可是绞尽脑汁了

　　Yeah,I am pulling out all the stops.

　　华馆提供了39.95美金的情侣特典套餐

　　There's a $39.95 lover's special at P.F. Chang's.

　　蛋卷啊  饺子啊

　　Egg rolls,dumplings,

　　数不清的炒菜  最后你还能和门口硕大的

　　bottomless wok,and you get your picture taken

　　大理石马合影留念

　　on the big marble horse out front.

　　考虑到圣瓦伦丁是个在公元三世纪

　　Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest

　　被丢石头和斩首的罗马祭司

　　who was stoned and beheaded,

　　在这个夜晚带着女朋友去看一场残忍的凶杀

　　wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening

　　难道不是更合情理的庆祝方式吗

　　be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

　　我明白你的意思  但是有选择的话

　　I understand your point,but given a choice,

　　犹太人永远选择中国菜

　　Jews always go with Chinese food.

　　呃  如果任何人有兴趣

　　Well,if anyone's interested,

　　今年的情人节

　　I'll be spending this Valentine's Day

　　我会像往年一样

　　the same way I spend every Valentine's Day.

　　从超市买只大烤鸡

　　Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket,

　　带回家  站在洗手池边

　　taking it home,standing over the sink

　　像只禽兽一样直接打开包装用手抓着吃

　　and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

　　很好  那总结一下  一个是大理石骏马

　　Okay,so to sum up: one giant marble horse,

　　一条愚蠢之极的意见

　　one asinine comment,

　　剩男则独自回家吃鸡

　　one lonely man and his chicken.

　　让我们看看  还剩谁呢

　　And let's see. Who's left?

　　没错  就剩我的计划了

　　Oh,that's right. My plans.

　　有人想要问一下吗

　　Isn't anyone going to ask?

　　好吧  告诉我们你会和佩妮云雨一番

　　Fine,tell us you're going to have sex with Penny.

　　这不是我想说的

　　That's not what I was going to tell you.

　　没关系

　　It's okay.

　　我不介意听听你的性生活

　　I don't mind hearing about your sex life.

　　只有他的才会让我抓狂

　　It's his that bugs me.

　　你们猜学校要派谁去瑞士

　　Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland

　　参加研讨会并参观欧洲核子研究委员会的超级对撞机

　　to attend a conference and see the CERN supercollider

　　就在二月十四日

　　on February 14?

　　诺顿教授  尽管原因只有上帝才知道

　　Professor Norton,although,God knows why.

　　他自从获得诺贝尔奖之后

　　He hasn't published anything of note

　　就再也没有发表过任何著名的文章

　　since he won that Nobel Prize.

　　事实上  诺顿教授去不成了

　　Actually,Professor Norton can't make it.

　　他在攀岩的时候把腰扭了

　　He threw his back out rock climbing.

　　我怎么听说他是在攀新女友的高峰时把腰扭了

　　I heard he threw his back out climbing on his new girlfriend.

　　就是第二台的那个爆乳天气女郎吗

　　The big-boobed weather girl on Channel 2?

　　就是她

　　That's the one.

　　不管怎样  他们邀请我代替他

　　In any case,they're asking me to fill in for him.

　　是瑞士还是爆乳天气女郎

　　In Switzerland or with the big-boobed weather girl?

　　瑞士

　　Switzerland.

　　而且我还能带一个人去

　　And I get to bring a guest!

　　哦  天呐  不可能  老兄

　　Oh,man! No way,dude!

　　太难以置信了

　　This is incredible!

　　我太开心了

　　I'm so happy,

　　我甚至不想去质疑他们为什么会选你去了

　　I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you.

　　我要速度奔回家收拾行李

　　I'm just going to run home and start packing.

　　你怎么不带佩妮去

　　Why wouldn't you take Penny?

　　我是要带佩妮去的

　　I am taking Penny.

　　哦

　　Oh.

　　那我预测你回家会面临个尴尬的境地

　　Well,then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.

　　谢尔顿  有空吗

　　Sheldon,you got a minute?

　　当然了  我的好朋友

　　Of course,my good friend.

　　请进

　　Come in.

　　帮我参考一下

　　Help me out.

　　哪顶滑雪帽比较像超级对撞机

　　Which ski hat says aprey supercollider?

　　谢尔顿  我没有选你去瑞士

　　Sheldon,I'm not taking you to Switzerland.

　　你当然选我了

　　Well,of course you are.

　　你还能选谁呢

　　Who else would you take?

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　什么

　　What?

　　这太荒谬了

　　That's absurd.

　　佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究又不感兴趣

　　Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

　　没错  但那是情人节啊

　　Yes,but it'll be Valentine's Day.

　　我们可以去观光滑雪

　　We can go sightseeing and skiing

　　然后在熊熊炉火前与皑皑白雪所覆盖的

　　and make love in front of a roaring fire

　　阿尔卑斯山阴中共度春宵

　　in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.

　　但佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究不感兴趣啊

　　But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

　　抱歉  谢尔顿

　　I'm sorry,Sheldon.

　　抱歉

　　Sorry?

　　我自从九岁起就一直梦想着有朝一日

　　I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider

　　去看大型强子对撞机

　　since I was nine years old.

　　是吗  那我还从六岁起就梦想有朝一日有个女生

　　Yeah,well,I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day

　　能与我共度情人节呢

　　with a girl since I was six.

　　太可耻了

　　Shame on you!

　　这不是科学家该有的梦

　　That's no dream for a scientist!

　　你要给我什么巨大的惊喜啊

　　Okay,what's the big surprise?

　　稍等一下

　　Just a minute.

　　这个托盘里藏着

　　This tray contains clues

　　你和我如何共度情人节的线索

　　as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day.

　　喔  好吧

　　Oh. Wow. Okay.

　　让我看看

　　Let's see.

　　有牛奶巧克力

　　We've got,uh,milk chocolate,

　　瑞士硬干酪  芝士火锅

　　Swiss cheese,fondue.

　　我的乳糖不耐症男友要吃完这些

　　My lactose-intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this.

　　然后我骑在他背上

　　Then I'm going to climb on his back

　　直冲月球

　　and rocket to the moon?

　　不对

　　No.

　　但的确跟空中旅行有关

　　But it does involve air travel.

　　这样吧

　　Okay,um...

　　我用"瑞士"军刀

　　let me slice this Swiss cheese

　　切一片"瑞士"干酪

　　with my Swiss army knife,

　　你可以把它加到一杯

　　and then you can wash it down with a cup

　　"瑞士"小姐速溶可可里

　　of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.

　　嗯  我觉得瑞士应该是个关键词了

　　Okay,I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.

　　没错

　　Uh-huh.

　　去迪士尼乐园玩马特洪峰雪橇过山车

　　We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn?

　　这怎么会跟空中旅行有关

　　How does that involve air travel?

　　去迪士尼世界玩马特洪雪橇过山车[奥兰多  佛罗里达]

　　We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn?

　　不对

　　No.

　　亲爱的  开始是挺好玩的

　　Okay,sweetie,this started out fun,

　　但现在没意思了

　　but I'm over it.

　　我们要去瑞士的

　　We're going to Switzerland

　　欧洲核子研究中心参观超级对撞机

　　to see the CERN supercollider!

　　还有去滑雪

　　And ski. We'll also go skiing.

　　我们要去瑞士滑雪

　　We're going skiing in Switzerland?!

　　你滑  我会摔倒  不过是的

　　Well,you'll ski,I'll fall,but,yeah,

　　我们要去瑞士过情人节

　　we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day.

　　天啊  莱纳德

　　Oh,my God,Leonard!

　　太好了

　　That's incredible!

　　别高兴得太早

　　Not so fast.

　　先别急着点

　　You might want to hold off

　　你的芜菁灯吧  佩妮

　　on lighting your rabeliechtli,Penny.

　　芜什么玩意儿

　　Rabe-what-ly?

　　芜菁灯

　　Rabeliechtli.

　　芜菁灯

　　It means turnip light

　　是一种用根菜

　　and refers to a traditional lantern

　　手工雕刻的传统灯笼

　　hand-carved from a root vegetable

　　用于庆祝瑞士的特定节日

　　and used to celebrate certain Swiss festivals.

　　但你不会参加

　　Which you will not be celebrating

　　原因之一  节日在秋季

　　{\c

　　原因之二

　　and B:

　　你去不了瑞士

　　you will not be going to Switzerland.

　　谢尔顿  我们谈过了

　　Sheldon,we've been through this.

　　我带佩妮去

　　I'm taking Penny.

　　估计不行

　　Afraid not.

　　你还认得这个吗

　　Do you recognize this?

　　别提室友协议

　　Not the roommate agreement.

　　正是室友协议

　　Indeed,the roommate agreement.

　　请您注意友谊附加条款

　　I call your attention to the Friendship Rider

　　在附录C  未来义务

　　in Appendix C: Future Commitments.

　　第37条  当一位朋友受邀

　　"Number 37: in the event one friend is ever invited

　　参观现在瑞士建设中的

　　"to visit the Large Hadron Collider,

　　大型强子对撞机

　　"now under construction in Switzerland,

　　该人应邀请另一位朋友相陪

　　he shall invite the other friend to accompany him."

　　偶滴神啊

　　Oh,for God's sakes.

　　你们连这个也写进协议里吗

　　You actually put that in an agreement?

　　里面还写了

　　Yeah. We also put in what happens

　　如果一人得了麦克阿瑟天才奖怎么办

　　if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant,

　　如果一人有超能力怎么办

　　or if one of us gets superpowers,

　　如果一人被僵尸咬了怎么办

　　or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.