He can't kill me,even if I turn.

　　里面没写一人有了女友怎么办吗

　　Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?

　　没有  那个有点太不着调了

　　No,that seemed a little farfetched.

　　谢尔顿  你真打算强制实施这个吗

　　Sheldon,do you really expect to enforce this?

　　我一直遵守

　　I've lived up

　　协议里的所有义务

　　to all my commitments under the agreement.

　　每天至少问候你一次

　　At least once a day I ask how you are,

　　即使我一点都不在意

　　even though I simply don't care.

　　我没有

　　I no longer

　　在晚上十点后进行生物危害演习了

　　stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10:00 p.m.

　　我也放弃学习图瓦喉唱了

　　And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.

　　-我知道不该问  不过什么是  -别啊

　　- Okay,I know I shouldn't ask,but what is...? - No.

　　如果允许我训练  我能唱得更好

　　I'd be much further along if I'd been allowed to practice.

　　谢尔顿

　　Look,Sheldon,

　　我知道协议这么写

　　I know it's in the agreement,

　　如果你真的变成僵尸  我保证不杀你

　　and if you turn into a zombie,I promise I will not kill you.

　　我宁愿让你喝我脑浆

　　In fact,I'll even let you eat my brains.

　　但我还是要带佩妮去瑞士

　　But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.

　　这是你的最终决定吗

　　Is that your final decision?

　　没错

　　It is.

　　很好

　　Very well.

　　他不会罢休  对吧

　　It's not over,is it?

　　你以为呢

　　What do you think?

　　今早的车挺多啊

　　Got a bit of traffic this morning,huh?

　　你觉得会下雨吗

　　Think it's gonna rain?

　　今天早上

　　Instead of underpants,

　　我把土豆沙拉当内裤穿了

　　I covered my crotch with potato salad this morning.

　　有啥想法

　　Thoughts?

　　我知道怎么让你高兴

　　Okay,I know what'll cheer you up.

　　我们玩你的开车游戏吧

　　Let's play one of your driving games.

　　好啊

　　All right.

　　游戏名就叫叛徒

　　This game is called Traitors.

　　我说三个历史人物

　　I will name three historical figures,

　　你以背叛行为的罪恶程度

　　you put them in order

　　来给他们排下序

　　of the heinousness of their betrayal.

　　本尼迪克特?阿诺德  犹大  莱纳德?霍夫斯塔德博士

　　Benedict Arnold,Judas,Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.

　　你真觉得我跟他们是一类人吗

　　You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?

　　你说得对

　　You're right.

　　犹大至少为自己的作为

　　Judas had the decency to hang himself

　　以死谢罪了

　　after what he did.

　　别这样  谢尔顿

　　Come on,Sheldon.

　　你就不能理解一下

　　Can't you at least try to understand

　　这对我有多重要吗

　　how much this means to me?

　　第二轮  莱纳德?霍夫斯塔德

　　Round two: Leonard Hofstadter,

　　达斯?维达[星战黑武士]  鲁珀特?默多克

　　Darth Vader,Rupert Murdoch.

　　鲁珀特?默多克

　　Rupert Murdoch?

　　福克斯电视台老板  他们把《萤火虫》砍了

　　He owns Fox,and they cancelled Firefly.

　　提示  他和达斯?维达并列第二

　　Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for #2.

　　对不起昨晚不能陪你

　　I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night.

　　我和伯纳黛特约会了

　　I had a date with Bernadette.

　　我知道

　　I know.

　　我在推特上看到了

　　I saw the Tweet.

　　那你干什么了

　　So,what did you end up doing?

　　没干什么

　　Not much.

　　热了块玉米馅饼

　　Nuked a burrito. Oh.

　　向印度女神乌尔瓦希祈祷你会拉稀

　　Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen

　　老二蔫得跟柳条一样柔软

　　and your penis would droop like a willow tree.

　　看到谢尔顿了吗

　　You seen Sheldon?

　　没有  他还在为超级对撞机的事生气吗

　　No. Is he still mad about the supercollider?

　　对  他觉得我背叛了他

　　Yeah. He thinks I betrayed him.

　　搞什么啊

　　I mean,come on.

　　要是你们会带谁

　　What would you guys do if you were me?

　　我会带谢尔顿去瑞士

　　I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.

　　真的假的

　　Seriously?

　　当然了

　　Absolutely.

　　再把他扔在那里

　　And I'd leave him there.

　　这是什么情况

　　What the hell is that?

　　让我数数

　　Uh,let's see.

　　30把银制餐具

　　30 pieces of silverware.

　　[格里格  培尔金特组曲之晨曦]

　　Grieg "Peer Gynt - Morning"

　　早安  老伙计

　　Morning,old chum.

　　搞什么

　　What's going on?

　　我给你做了早餐

　　I've made you breakfast.

　　有果汁和咖啡

　　Juice,coffee,

　　还有一些薄饼

　　and pancakes in the shape of some

　　上面是你最爱的虚构角色

　　of your favorite fictional characters.

　　瞧  这是弗罗多[出自《魔戒》]

　　See,here's Frodo.

　　你居然做了弗罗多薄饼

　　You made Frodo pancakes?

　　脚毛部分我用的是椰子刨花

　　Yeah,I used coconut shavings to do the hair on his feet.

　　你进餐前若需要清空膀胱

　　If you need to void your bladder before eating,

　　我会用这顶贝雷帽帮你暖着

　　I can keep them warm with this beret

　　我已经彻底清洗干净

　　that I thoroughly laundered

　　松软程度正适宜用来盖薄饼

　　and pressed into service as a pancake cozy.

　　你有什么目的

　　Why are you doing this?

　　对我近来的行为表示歉意

　　It's by way of an apology for my recent behavior.

　　经过这段时间的思考

　　I've had some time

　　我终于意识到

　　to reflect and I've come to realize

　　友谊不能依靠那堆

　　that friendship is not an aggregation

　　白纸黑字的协定来维系

　　of written agreements.

　　而需要两人之间

　　It's a result of two people

　　互相尊重和体谅

　　respecting and caring for each other.

　　尝尝奶油烤饼吗

　　Butterscotch scone?

　　多谢

　　Thanks.

　　好吃

　　It's good.

　　这其中包含着我满满的尊敬和感情

　　What you're tasting is respect and affection.

　　当然还有一磅左右植物白油

　　And about a pound of Crisco.

　　待你用完早餐

　　After you've finished breakfast,

　　我觉得  今天我们可以

　　I thought we could spend the day

　　一起看导演点评版的

　　watching the final season of Babylon 5

　　巴比伦5号[美国科幻剧]

　　with director commentary.

　　你不是讨厌《巴比伦5号》吗

　　You hate Babylon 5.

　　当然  既没剧情又不科幻

　　I do. It fails as drama/science fiction,

　　彻头彻尾的仿制大烂片

　　and it's hopelessly derivative.

　　但是你喜欢  而我们又是朋友

　　But you like it,and you're my friend.

　　好吧  赞

　　Okay,great.

　　我还是不会带你去瑞士

　　Still not taking you to Switzerland.

　　见鬼

　　Drat.

　　没你的弗罗多尝了

　　No Frodo for you.

　　你好

　　Hello.

　　好啊

　　Hello.

　　得  我们就省掉假惺惺的友好吧

　　All right,let's dispense with the friendly banter.

　　你应该知道我为何来此

　　I believe you know why I'm here.

　　关于这点  我一直认为

　　Well,I always figured it was to study us,

　　你是来发现我们地球人的弱点

　　discover our weaknesses,

　　再报告给你们的外星君主

　　and report back to your alien overlords.

　　搞笑

　　Yes,amusing.

　　特定情报  对你而言

　　Extraordinary intelligence

　　貌似是显得像天外来客般难懂

　　might well appear extraterrestrial to you,

　　但我还是友情提醒下

　　but let me be

　　确切地说

　　more specific.

　　你应该知道我为何在此  这个洗衣间里

　　I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room.

　　喉音唱腔在这里有更好的音响效果吗

　　Better acoustics for your throat singing?

　　还真不赖嘛

　　It's actually not bad.

　　但我来此的真正目的

　　But my true purpose in being here

　　是来做一个简要的幻灯片演说

　　will be revealed in this brief PowerPoint presentation.

　　关灯

　　Lights.

　　为什么谢尔顿?库珀博士必须去瑞士欧核中心

　　Why Sheldon Cooper,PhD,should go to Switzerland

　　参观超级对撞机的理由

　　to see the CERN supercollider:

　　发言人  谢尔顿?库珀博士

　　a PowerPoint presentation by Sheldon Cooper,PhD.

　　我的老天爷

　　Oh,for God's sake.

　　这是一位在粒子物理学领域的

　　Here we have a highly gifted researcher

　　超级天才科学家

　　in the field of particle physics

　　他的成就关乎全人类的命运

　　whose work has brought him to the precipice

　　从此改变对宇宙的理解

　　of forever changing mankind's understanding of the universe.

　　确切来说就是我

　　AKA me.

　　而这是一位女招待

　　And here we have a waitress

　　只会用手指抠牙齿而已

　　brushing her teeth with her finger.