"The Imperial March"

　　您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗

　　Would you please turn your shirt off?

　　那怎么行

　　What?

　　我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐

　　I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music.

　　这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我

　　People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.

　　确实

　　Right.

　　世上最惊悚的事莫过于

　　There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man

　　有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出

　　who's got music blasting from between his nipples.

　　斯图亚特  忙啥呢

　　Hey,Stuart,what's going on?

　　你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了

　　Well,you might want to mark your Google calendars.

　　斯坦?李周四来这里开签名会

　　Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.

　　他的自传出续集了吗

　　Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?

　　我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮

　　I'm sure ages 79 through 87 were just action-packed.

　　没  就是普通的漫画签名罢了

　　No,just a regular comic signing.

　　我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生

　　My uncle is his dermatologist

　　斯坦?李因此卖个面子给他

　　and Stan's doing him a favor.

　　你告诉我这些干嘛啊你

　　Oh,I don't want to know that!

　　这下好了  我怎么可能一边和斯坦?李讨论

　　How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee

　　用银质冲浪板

　　the scientific foundations for interstellar flight

　　来星际飞行的科学依据

　　on a silver surfboard

　　一边逐行扫描他的脸

　　when part of my brain will be scanning his face

　　以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹

　　for signs of contagious skin disease?

　　斯坦?李没有皮肤传染病

　　Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.

　　一边去  你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔

　　Well,look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.

　　难以置信  我们要见到斯坦?李了

　　Can't believe it. We're going to meet Stan Lee!

　　[《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲]

　　"I'm So Excited"

　　我错了  我不该教他跳这舞的

　　I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.

　　我实在无法取舍

　　I can't decicide

　　究竟让斯坦?李把名字签在

　　whether I want Stan Lee to autograph

　　托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上

　　my Journey into Mystery 83,first appearance of Thor

　　还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上

　　or my Fantastic Four number five,

　　死亡博士的处女秀

　　first appearance of Dr. Doom.

　　[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目  思考时的音乐  节目的主题曲]

　　(Jeopardy theme song playing)

　　阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持)  我选的答案是

　　Alex,I'm going to go with what is...

　　你是个傻帽

　　you're a dumbass?

　　我决定让斯坦?李把名签在

　　I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy

　　这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上

　　of this month's Batman.

　　有病吧你

　　That's crazy.

　　蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦?李的作品[竞争对手]

　　Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.

　　对啊  所以其他人不会让他签这个

　　Yes,which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,

　　于是我就会拥有一件

　　and I will be the possessor of

　　虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝

　　a unique,albeit confusing,artifact,

　　我从此就和那群芸芸

　　which will set me apart

　　漫画迷不再是一个级别的了

　　from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.

　　这点子不错

　　That's a great idea.

　　我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去

　　I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.

　　你对独一无二这个词很难理解么

　　What is it about the word "unique" you don't understand?

　　靠  手被纸片划破了

　　Damn,paper cut.

　　被纸割伤最痛苦了

　　Nothing worse than a paper cut.

　　你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式]

　　Well,obviously you don't remember your circumcision.

　　上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴

　　There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.

　　这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗

　　Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?

　　卫生间里有  还有厨房里

　　He does. And in the kitchen.

　　还有车里  再加上他口袋里

　　And in the car. And in his pocket.

　　没错  但我口袋里的可不给别人用

　　Yeah,but the ones in my pocket are mine.

　　-嗨  -嘿

　　- Hi!  - Hey.

　　猜猜看

　　Guess who's going to be

　　周四谁会去漫画店

　　at the comic bookstore on Thursday?

　　呃  给点提示吧

　　Um... can you give me a hint?

　　斯坦?李

　　Stan Lee.

　　噢  斯坦利

　　Um... Stanley...

　　斯坦利?图奇?[著名演员]

　　Stanley... Stanley Tucci?

　　不是

　　No.

　　是斯坦?李

　　No,Stan... Lee.

　　哦  斯坦?李嘛

　　Oh,oh,Stan Lee!

　　不错嘛

　　Cool!

　　你根本不知道他是谁吧

　　You have no idea who he is,do you?

　　谁说的  我当然知道

　　Of course I do.

　　你是我生命中的重要的一部分

　　You're an important part of my life

　　我自然会爱屋及乌啦

　　and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.

　　是嘛  好啊

　　Oh,good.

　　好极了

　　Good.

　　那你说说  斯坦?李是谁

　　So,who's Stan Lee?

　　星际迷航里的

　　Um... he was on Star Trek.

　　猜错了

　　Nope.

　　-那就星球大战  -又错

　　- Star Wars?  - No.

　　呃  斯坦?李

　　Um... uh,Stan Lee.

　　我知道了

　　Ooh,he was in those

　　是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的

　　goofy kung fu movies you love so much?

　　那是李小龙

　　That's Bruce Lee.

　　啊哦

　　Oh.

　　那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?

　　So,is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother,Stan?

　　谢尔顿  你抽屉怎么有那么多

　　Sheldon,why do you have all these unopened

　　没拆封的薪水支票

　　paychecks in your desk?

　　因为我想买的东西

　　Because most of the things I'm planning to buy

　　市面上基本上都没有

　　haven't been invented yet.

　　这儿得有好几千块了吧

　　There-there must be thousands of dollars here.

　　你干嘛不存银行里

　　Why don't you put it in the bank?

　　鬼才相信银行

　　I don't trust banks.

　　我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了

　　I believe that when the robots rise up,

　　自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖

　　ATMs will lead the charge.

　　这儿还有一封

　　You've also got something

　　帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西

　　from the Pasadena Municipal Court.

　　肯定又是回信来鄙视我

　　Undoubtedly another snide response

　　之前寄去的几封信里

　　to my repeated letters complaining

　　投诉了法院门口的旗子

　　that the flags in front of the courthouse

　　次序是错误的

　　are flying in the wrong order.

　　按照从左到右的顺序

　　From left to right,it's supposed to be

　　应该先是联邦旗  州旗

　　federal,state,

　　最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗

　　and then city of Pasadena.

　　打断一下  你为此寄了好几封信过去

　　I'm sorry. You sent more than one letter about that?

　　它们看着太碍眼了

　　It bothers me.

　　谢尔顿  这是封传票

　　Sheldon,this is a summons.

　　什么的传票

　　A summons for what?

　　信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯

　　Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue

　　时间是11月16号晚上9点半

　　at 9:30 p.m. on November 16.

　　你被路边的摄像头拍下来了

　　They got you on a traffic camera.

　　挺上镜嘛

　　Nice picture.

　　11月16号

　　November 16?

　　佩妮  那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒

　　Penny,that's the evening you fell in your bathtub

　　然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗

　　and I had to drive you to the emergency room.

　　不是

　　No,it isn't.

　　就是

　　Yes,it is.

　　就不是

　　No,it isn't.

　　佩妮  我记得很清楚

　　Penny,I have an eidetic memory.

　　而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上

　　Also,that's a picture of you in the passenger seat

　　托着你那脱臼的肩膀

　　holding your dislocated shoulder.

　　才不是呢

　　Mmm,no,it isn't.

　　好吧  那为啥传票上违反交规的

　　Okay,then why is a summons for a traffic violation

　　是你的车  而且挂着你的车牌

　　committed in your car,bearing your license plates,

　　却寄来我这儿了

　　coming to me?

　　好吧  他们给我发了传票

　　Okay,look,they sent me the ticket.

　　我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车

　　I told them I wasn't driving

　　然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"

　　and they were all,"If it wasn't you,who was it?"

　　于是你就把我出卖了

　　So you betrayed me?

　　才没有

　　No!

　　这哪是出卖

　　It wasn't a betrayal.

　　我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"

　　It was more of a "I can't afford any more points on my license."

　　我已经不得不

　　I already have to buy my insurance

　　去开曼群岛上买车险了

　　from this place in the Cayman Islands.

　　但我之所以开你的车还不是因为

　　But the only reason I was driving your car

　　你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手

　　was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.

　　是啊是啊 你看现在 你有张照片记录英勇的一天

　　Yea yea. Look at you.you have a photo to remember that heroic day.