嗨

　　Hey.

　　谢尔顿进了监狱

　　Sheldon's in jail.

　　啥  谢尔顿进了监狱?!

　　Sheldon's in jail?!

　　被你说中了

　　You called it.

　　-怎么搞的  -你觉得呢

　　- For what?  - What do you think?

　　就是他平时一贯的找抽风格

　　For doing the same crap he always does,

　　只不过法官不吃这一套

　　except to a judge.

　　他不道歉就出不来

　　He has to stay in there until he apologizes.

　　那就让他道歉啊

　　So tell him to apologize.

　　多谢提醒  莱纳德

　　Oh,gee,thanks,Leonard.

　　你以为我没想过吗

　　That didn't occur to me.

　　如果他五点前还不道歉

　　If he doesn't apologize by 5:00,

　　就得在监狱里过夜了

　　he is going to spend the night in jail.

　　哦不  真是糟糕

　　Oh,no,that's terrible.

　　哇  队伍动了  挂了  回见

　　Ooh,the line's moving. Got to go. Bye.

　　有人吗

　　Excuse me?

　　狱卒在吗

　　Excuse me,jailor?

　　咋了

　　What?

　　我要上厕所

　　I need to use the restroom.

　　在那边  自便

　　Knock yourself out.

　　这算是马桶?

　　That's the toilet?

　　不然你以为是许愿池吗

　　Well,it ain't a wishing well.

　　请转告法官  我准备向他道歉

　　Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

　　看啊

　　Look at that.

　　"致吾友  莱纳德

　　"To my friend,Leonard.

　　惊奇漫画的一个系列  后改称Loners

　　独行侠  斯坦?李"

　　From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"

　　牛逼

　　Awesome.

　　我上面写的是  "致吾友  霍华德"

　　Mine says,"To my friend,Howard.

　　独行侠  斯坦?李

　　From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"

　　我上面写的是  "致拉杰  斯坦?李"

　　Mine says,"To Raj,from Stan Lee."

　　因为你纠结他的角色名  把他惹毛了

　　That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.

　　搞毛

　　Hey,

　　前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员 后者出自《蜘蛛侠》

　　我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔

　　I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,

　　分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》

　　马特?默多克和小辣椒波兹

　　Matt Murdock,Pepper Potts,

　　末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》]

　　Victor Von Doom,

　　还有最夸张的

　　oh,and worst of all,

　　惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列

　　米莉模特

　　Millie the Model.

　　我们回来了

　　We're home.

　　伙计  情况如何

　　Oh,hey,buddy. How'd it go?

　　你明明都知道了还问个屁

　　You know very well how it went.

　　是啊  但我们想听你亲口说

　　Yeah,but we all want to hear it from you.

　　我被判有罪  还被罚了533美元

　　I was found guilty and fined $533.

　　我会写张支票给你

　　I'm going to write you a check for that.

　　只要你答应我藏在抽屉里

　　As long as you promise to put it in your drawer

　　别去兑换  就和其他那些东西一样

　　and never cash it,like the others.

　　我还没有驾照

　　I also now have three points

　　但上面已经被扣了三点

　　on a driver's license I do not yet possess,

　　还被迫道了个冤枉歉

　　and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology,

　　只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前

　　simply because I refuse to urinate

　　就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿

　　in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.

　　再加上  你错过了和斯坦?李见面

　　Plus,you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.

　　好了  别刺激他了  霍华德

　　Okay,that's enough,Howard.

　　这可怜虫够难受的了

　　The poor guy's had a tough time.

　　一个下午都待在监狱

　　He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail

　　还穿成这幅德行

　　wearing that suit.

　　说得对

　　You're right,

　　所以我们也别提在亲笔签名后

　　so it would be cruel to mention

　　他带斯图尔特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋

　　that after he finished signing autographs,

　　这就太残酷了

　　Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato.

　　你们和斯坦?李共进意式冰淇淋?

　　You had gelato with Stan Lee?

　　他还允许我们叫他斯坦

　　He said we could call him Stan.

　　除了拉杰

　　Except for Raj.

　　你这下满意了吧  佩妮

　　Well,I hope you're satisfied,Penny.

　　今天我所遭受的磨难

　　You are responsible

　　这全都是你的错

　　for all the evil that has be fallen me today.

　　-好吧  我知道...  -我还没说完呢

　　- Okay,I realize that...  - Not finished.

　　都是因为你

　　It is because of you

　　害得我有了犯罪记录

　　that I now have a criminal record,

　　还因为你  害得我

　　and it is because of you that I missed out

　　错过了和斯坦?李共进意式冰淇淋

　　on having gelato with Stan Lee.

　　-好吧  也许以后还有机会...  -不可能了

　　- Okay,maybe you'll have another chance to have... - No,no.

　　再也没有这种机会和斯坦?李一起共进意式冰淇淋了

　　I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee

　　因为这种机会

　　because opportunities to have

　　和斯坦?李一起共进意式冰淇淋 一生只有一次

　　gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime.

　　手起笔落

　　The Moving Finger writes,

　　白纸黑字再难改[出自《鲁拜集》]

　　and having writ,moves on

　　他刚是朝我竖中指了吗

　　Did he just somehow give me the finger?

　　可不只是手指

　　Not just the finger.

　　还挥起了小手

　　The moving finger.

　　你好  斯图尔特

　　Hey,Stuart.

　　你好  佩妮

　　Oh,hey,Penny.

　　-怎么了  -没什么

　　- What's going on?  - Nothing.

　　我正准备打烊  然后出发

　　I'm just getting ready to close up and... head out.

　　真好  晚上有安排

　　Cool. Got any fun plans?

　　对  今晚有重大安排

　　Oh,yeah. Big night tonight.

　　跟只猫一起共享金枪鱼罐头

　　Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.

　　真好

　　Oh,nice.

　　那甚至不是我的猫

　　Not even my cat.

　　我就喂喂它

　　I just feed it.

　　有几晚它甚至都不会出现

　　Some nights it doesn't even show up.

　　好吧

　　Oh,okay.

　　我希望

　　Well,I was hoping,um,

　　你能帮我个忙

　　you could do me a favor.

　　义不容辞  说吧

　　Sure,yeah,name it.

　　这次谢尔顿没见上斯坦?李  我得负一定责任

　　Well,I'm kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee,

　　我真的很想弥补他

　　and I really want to make it up to him.

　　所以希望你能给我他的电话

　　So I was hoping you could give me his phone number

　　也许我能安排他们见个面

　　so maybe I can arrange for them to meet.

　　抱歉  我没他电话

　　Oh,I'm sorry,I don't have his phone number.

　　该死

　　Damn.

　　好吧  谢了

　　All right. Thank you.

　　等等

　　Wait.

　　我有他地址

　　I have his address.

　　真的

　　Really?

　　太好了

　　Great!

　　但不能告诉你

　　But I can't give it to you.

　　那你为什么要提这茬

　　Then why did you tell me you had it?

　　我不知道  这不聊天嘛

　　I don't know. Just chatting.

　　别这样看着我

　　You're looking at a guy

　　我已经可怜到  连流浪猫

　　who could very well get stood up

　　都可能放我鸽子

　　by a stray cat tonight.

　　抱歉  斯图尔特

　　I'm sorry,Stuart.

　　不管怎样  谢了

　　Thanks anyway.

　　等等

　　Wait.

　　怎么了

　　Yeah?

　　不如我们做笔交易

　　Maybe we can make a deal.

　　什么交易

　　What kind of deal?

　　我告诉你地址

　　I will give you the address

　　你就陪我去参加我表妹的婚礼

　　if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.

　　你这是在逼我跟你约会

　　You're extorting a date out of me?

　　我没其他办法

　　I kind of have to.

　　这次要结婚的这个表妹

　　The cousin who's getting married

　　就是以前经常陪我参加别人婚礼的那个

　　is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.

　　我能带上莱纳德吗

　　Can I bring Leonard?

　　当然  随便吧

　　Sure. What the hell.

　　成交

　　Deal.

　　告诉别人他是你表哥就行

　　We'll tell people he's your cousin.

　　这是斯坦?李家的大门

　　This is Stan Lee's front door.

　　越过斯坦?李家马路的石头

　　We were on Stan Lee's curb,

　　走过斯坦?李经常走过的路

　　then we were on Stan Lee's walk,

　　终于来到了斯坦?李家大门外

　　and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.

　　对

　　Yup.

　　天哪  你按了斯坦?李家门铃

　　Oh,Lord,you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell.

　　就站在斯坦?李家门外

　　At Stan Lee's house.

　　我们就要进去  跟斯坦?李共享牛奶和点心

　　We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.

　　亲爱的  我不确定他是否会招待我们点心

　　Okay,sweetie,I don't know if we're gonna have cookies,

　　还是直接问候了事

　　or he's just gonna say hi,

　　还是会怎么着  所以让我来跟他谈...

　　or really what's gonna happen,so just let me talk,and...

　　哪位

　　Yeah?

　　你就是斯坦?李吗

　　Are you Stan Lee?

　　见鬼

　　Oh,damn.

　　你好  我叫佩妮  这位是我朋友谢尔顿

　　Hi. I'm Penny. This is my friend,Sheldon.

　　她现在不是我朋友

　　We're not friends at the moment.

　　鉴于此刻形势

　　Depends on how this goes.

　　好吧  总之

　　Right,right. Anyway,

　　谢尔顿是您的超级粉丝  他原打算

　　Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours,and he was supposed

　　那天去漫画书店参加您的见面会

　　to meet you the other day at the comic book store,

　　可惜最后进了监狱

　　but he kind of ended up in jail.

　　了解  你们真以为

　　I see. And you thought

　　这样不请自来  就能随便敲我家门

　　you'd just come over to my house uninvited?

　　你说过我们是受邀来的

　　You said we were invited.

　　不不  我只说我邀请你

　　Oh,no,no,I said I'm inviting you

　　跟我一起去斯坦?李家

　　to come with me to Stan Lee's house.

　　你们这些自称粉丝的  真是不可思议

　　You know,you fan boys are unbelievable.

　　真以为只要自己高兴  随时都能按我家门铃

　　Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want?

　　既然这样  干嘛不索性进门来

　　I mean,why don't you just come on in

　　跟我一起看湖人队比赛好了

　　and watch the Lakers game with me?

　　我不是很爱好体育

　　Well,I'm not much of a sports fan,

　　不过感谢邀请

　　but thank you.

　　我很抱歉

　　I'm sorry.

　　他不是很懂什么叫讽刺

　　He doesn't really understand sarcasm.

　　好吧  我动点真格的  他就会懂了

　　Well,I'll give him something he'll understand.

　　琼妮  快报警

　　Joanie,call the police!

　　很高兴见到你

　　Nice to meet you.

　　《神奇四侠》  《夜魔侠》

　　Fantastic Four,Daredevil,

　　《无敌钢铁超人》

　　Invincible Iron Man,

　　分别为《钢铁侠》《蜘蛛侠》中角色

　　快乐霍根  蜥蜴博士

　　Happy Hogan,Curt Connors...

　　你能不能消停会

　　Would you just let it go?

　　Fin Fang Foom是《钢铁侠》中一条龙的形象

　　还有最糟糕的  非凡龙

　　And worst of all,Fin Fang Foom.

　　你去哪了

　　Hey,where've you been?

　　我告诉你们我去哪了

　　I'll tell you where I've been.

　　你们或许跟斯坦?李一起吃了冰激凌

　　You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee

　　还得了他亲笔签名的漫画

　　and gotten autographed comics,

　　我可是亲自进了他家

　　but I saw the inside of his house

　　还得到了他亲笔签名的禁制令申请状

　　and got an autographed application for a restraining order.

　　赞

　　Sweet.

　　还有我还能再见到他   等听证会的时候

　　Plus,I get to hang out with him again at the hearing.

　　下次我还能如法炮制

　　This is going to look great hanging next

　　Leonard Nimoy  史波克扮演者

　　去要伦纳德?尼莫伊签名的禁制令

　　to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.