this is the one ring.

　　归我了

　　Mine!

　　不  不是你的

　　No,it is not yours.

　　我们一起去要的箱子

　　We all went in on the box together.

　　对  但是我在箱子里找到的

　　Well,yes,but I found it in the box,

　　海难救助法明确规定

　　and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state

　　找到沉海宝藏的人

　　that the finder of a sunken treasure

　　即视为宝藏的主人

　　is the owner of the treasure.

　　这怎么符合海难救助法

　　How is this maritime salvage?

　　除了没有水  怎么不符合

　　Other than the lack of water,how is it not?

　　等等  谢尔顿  先别发疯

　　Wait,wait. Sheldon,stop being crazy for a second.

　　这种东西值多少钱

　　How much is something like this worth?

　　这么抢手的东西很难估价

　　Well,it's tough to say since it's hot,

　　不过在黑市里  我朋友估价

　　but on the underground market,my guy figures...

　　你是指艾迪?克里斯波吧

　　Your guy Eddie Crispo?

　　是滴

　　Yes.

　　他估价一万到一万五

　　He figures ten,maybe 15 thousand.

　　既然值这么多钱

　　Okay,that's a lot of money.

　　明智之举是用它投资更实用的东西

　　The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical.

　　比如水上摩托艇

　　Like a jet ski.

　　你要摩托艇干嘛

　　Why do you want a jet ski?

　　电影里有钱又帅的人都骑摩托艇

　　All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis.

　　这不可能是巧合

　　That can't just be a coincidence.

　　我们不能卖它

　　We can't sell it.

　　要保存它

　　We have to keep it

　　珍惜它  爱护它

　　and love it and polish it,

　　只能偶尔拿出来

　　and only take it out occasionally

　　去公园里

　　when we go to the park

　　重演电影里喜欢的场景

　　and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies.

　　听着有意思  其实很无聊

　　It's sad how great that sounds.

　　各位  这是偷来的

　　Guys,it's stolen.

　　应该还给彼得?杰克逊[指环王导演]

　　It should go back to Peter Jackson.

　　他制作的电影  魔戒应该属于他

　　{\c it belongs to him.

　　行啊

　　Fine.

　　可以换给他  只要他答应

　　He can have it back as long as he promises

　　让我演下一部电影里的霍比特人

　　to make me a hobbit in his next movie.

　　没有犹太霍比特人

　　There are no Jewish hobbits.

　　显然你没在岁首节[犹太新年]

　　Clearly,you've never been to my house

　　来我家吃饭

　　for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.

　　我们不能敲诈彼得?杰

　　We are not blackmailing Peter J...

　　够了  魔戒哪去了

　　All right,where's the ring?

　　你是说我的魔戒吗

　　You mean my ring?

　　你这是干嘛

　　What are you doing?

　　魔戒无人看护

　　The ring was unguarded.

　　就这么放着台面

　　It was just sitting on the table.

　　谁都能拿走

　　Anyone could have taken it.

　　证据  我拿了

　　Proof? I did.

　　-给我  -大家理智点

　　- Give me that. - Look,let's be reasonable.

　　我们都对魔戒抱有不同的想法

　　We all want to do different things with the ring,

　　但你们的想法太傻  我要的可是摩托艇

　　but your ideas are stupid,and I want a jet ski.

　　我找到的  魔戒是我的

　　I found it. The ring is mine.

　　我不明白  为啥每次都不能我说了算

　　I don't understand why in this group I never get my way.

　　有哪次不是你说了算

　　You always get your way.

　　你把魔戒给我  才是每次我说了算

　　I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.

　　各位

　　Hey,guys.

　　喜欢我给你们上的

　　Enjoying your food that I actually

　　不是你们点的菜

　　brought you instead of promising food,

　　是我随意找的一堆垃圾

　　but bringing you a box of random crap?

　　很好吃

　　Yeah,it's delicious.

　　就是讽刺的话不太新鲜

　　The sarcasm's a little stale,though.

　　要不这样吧

　　Hey,how about this?

　　确定如何处理魔戒前

　　Until we figure out what to do with the ring,

　　由佩妮来保管

　　Penny holds on to it.

　　什么戒指

　　What ring?

　　这枚戒指

　　This ring.

　　在找东西吗

　　Looking for something?

　　你能保管几天吗

　　Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?

　　-为什么  -这是部电影的道具

　　- Why? - It's a prop from a movie,

　　我们正为此争吵呢

　　And we're kind of fighting over it.

　　只想说清楚  我男朋友给我的

　　Okay,just to be clear,the first piece of jewelry

　　第一件珠宝是电影里的道具

　　my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie,

　　而且我还不能拥有它

　　and I don't even get to keep it?

　　如果你三年前跟了我

　　If you had gone out with me three years ago,

　　你现在应该能收到我姑婆艾达

　　by now,you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch

　　塞进猫肚子从德占比利时偷运出的胸针

　　that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.

　　现在感觉我还好吧

　　How am I looking now?

　　你打我

　　You hit me!

　　我在流血

　　I'm bleeding!

　　什么情况

　　What was that?

　　谢尔顿想偷魔戒  我给了他一拳

　　Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.

　　干得好

　　That's my girl.

　　谢尔顿啊

　　So,Sheldon,

　　被一个女人家揍的感觉如何

　　how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?

　　反正不是第一次了

　　It's not the first time.

　　在子宫里我那胞姐就开始欺负我

　　I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.

　　如果当年我能一直坚定的吸收掉她

　　If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her,

　　我也就多了一颗长毛的痣

　　then I'd have a mole with hair in it

　　这样也不会收到那些无聊的圣诞贺卡了

　　instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.

　　先生们  你们还没有觉悟吗

　　Gentlemen,have you come to the realization

　　最明智的选择

　　that the only reasonable course of action

　　就是卖了魔戒再分钱

　　is to sell the ring and divide the money?

　　没门

　　No.

　　我就怕你这么说

　　I was afraid of that.

　　说吧

　　Go ahead.

　　在孟买问候大家

　　Greetings from Mumbai.

　　我是拉杰的律师  文卡塔斯?库萨帕里

　　I am Raj's attorney,Venkatesh Koothrappali.

　　也是我表哥

　　Also my cousin.

　　你居然还找了个律师

　　You brought a lawyer?

　　这个不用回答

　　Don't answer that.

　　我就直说了

　　I'll get straight to the point.

　　我的委托人准备放弃

　　My client's prepared to surrender

　　他在这枚魔戒上的一切利益

　　any interest he has in the ring

　　来交换两辆川崎水上摩托

　　in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.

　　两辆水上摩托?  没门儿

　　We're not giving him two Jet Skis.

　　听着  大家都成年人了

　　Look,we're big boys,

　　我们何不都退一步海阔天空呢

　　why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?

　　一辆水上摩托就够了

　　One Kawasaki Jet Ski.

　　怎么样

　　Done and done.

　　半辆都不给

　　No Jet Skis.

　　好吧  不谈水上摩托了

　　All right,forget the Jet Skis.

　　你说什么

　　Forget the Jet Skis?

　　这是我们的底线

　　That was our line in the sand!

　　你就这点招数吗

　　What happened to "tear them a new one?"

　　那你要我怎样

　　What can I say?

　　他们态度强硬

　　They played hardball.

　　我们输了

　　We lost.

　　你这没用的东西

　　You're useless.

　　你来雇我时我就说了

　　I told you that when you hired me.

　　我要下线了

　　I'm signing off now.

　　记得联系你妈

　　Call your mother.

　　她担心你呢

　　She worries.

　　知道吗

　　Okay,just so you know,

　　向别人介绍自己的律师表兄时

　　if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,

　　要准备好被雷

　　prepare for shock and awe.

　　告诉你们  老子不干了

　　You know what? I am ending this.

　　佩妮不想再保管魔戒

　　Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.

　　她还给了我  现在我手上

　　She gave it to me. I have it.

　　我要寄回去

　　I'm sending it back.

　　魔戒呢

　　Where's the ring?

　　你是指这个魔戒吗

　　You mean this ring?

　　下次在公共厕所里排尿

　　Next time be aware of your surroundings

　　记得要耳听八方环顾四周

　　while urinating in a public men's room.

　　快给我

　　Give me that.

　　才不  这是我的

　　No,it's mine.

　　我们都有份

　　It's all of ours.

　　-得了  这也太荒唐了  -那就放手

　　- Okay,now,this is ridiculous!  - Then let go!

　　偏不  你干嘛不放手

　　I'm not letting go. You let go.

　　要我说  谁坚持到最后

　　I say this ring belongs

　　魔戒就归谁

　　to the last person who can hold on.

　　行啊  我们回家再开始吗

　　Fine. But can't we go home and start this?

　　当然

　　Sure.

　　那现在先放手

　　Let go of the ring.

　　好吧  那就从现在开始

　　All right,it starts now.

　　今晚科幻频道有巨虫电影联播

　　You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon

　　你们都还记得吧

　　tonight on the Syfy Channel.