Okay,in Avatar,when they have sex on Pandora,

　　就是把辫子结合在一起 也就是说

　　they hook up their ponytails,so we know their ponytails

　　他们的辫子就像生殖器一样

　　are like their junk.

　　对啊... 所以呢?

　　Yeah... so?

　　所以 他们骑马或者骑鸟

　　So,when they ride horses and fly on the birds,

　　也是用他们的辫子

　　they also use their ponytails.

　　你到底想说什么?

　　What's your point?

　　我想说 如果我是马或者鸟

　　My point is,if I were a horse or a bird,

　　在詹姆斯?卡梅隆身旁肯定紧张死了

　　I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.

　　你真是奇怪

　　It amazes me how you constantly obsess

　　总是沉迷于一些科幻细节

　　over fictional details

　　现实生活中

　　when there are more important things

　　有更重要的事值得考虑

　　in the real world to worry about.

　　比如 为什么威廉?夏特纳

　　For example,why wasn't William Shatner

　　没有出演新的"星际迷航"呢?

　　in the new Star Trek movie?

　　嘿 Sheldon

　　Hey,Sheldon.

　　我刚才在楼上行政办公室

　　I was up in the administration office,

　　碰巧听到了

　　and I happened to overhear

　　今年科学领域

　　the name of the winner

　　校长奖得主的名字

　　of this year's Chancellor's Award for Science.

　　你是想拿我的贡献又被忽略这件事

　　And you want to rub my nose in the fact

　　来让我难堪?

　　that my contributions are being overlooked again?

　　我就是理论物理界的威廉?夏特纳

　　I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics.

　　好吧 洗耳恭听

　　All right,I'll play.

　　今年他们又把奖给了哪个

　　What self-important,preening fraud

　　自以为是 洋洋自得的骗子?

　　are they honoring this year?

　　噢 很高兴你这么问 就是你

　　Oh,I'm so glad you asked it like that. You.

　　- 我得奖了?  - 你得奖了

　　- I won?  - You won.

　　我得奖了!

　　I won!

　　太令人鸡冻了

　　This is astonishing.

　　倒不是因为是我得了奖... 没人比我更该得这个奖

　　Not that I won the award... no one deserves it more.

　　其实是我说错了

　　Actually,I guess I misspoke.

　　不是鸡冻 是必然

　　It's not astonishing,more like inevitable.

　　我应该先干嘛呢

　　I'm not sure what to do first.

　　可能应该先打电话告诉我妈妈

　　Maybe I should call my mother.

　　等等! 我知道了... 我要先自我采访一下

　　Wait! I know... I'm going to conduct an interview

　　再传到网上去

　　with myself and post it online.

　　好事啊

　　Well,good for him.

　　是啊 这个理论物理界的威廉?夏特纳

　　Yeah,the one thing the William Shatner

　　是需要再自负一点

　　of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost.

　　是不是感觉那长矛

　　Didn't it look like that spear

　　直接刺穿你的头骨?

　　was going to go right through your skull?

　　没觉得

　　No.

　　嘿 你在7-11便利店不买思乐冰饮料

　　Hey,you didn't want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven,

　　就没有3D眼镜赠品

　　you don't get glasses.

　　噢 肯定又有人打电话来祝贺我了

　　Oh,that will be another congratulatory call for me.

　　嗯 静音

　　Uh,mute,please.

　　等等 等会... 火焰箭来了

　　Wait,wait. Hang on... flaming arrow.

　　你好?

　　Hello?

　　噢 Morton校长 近来可好 先生?

　　Oh,Chancellor Morton,how are you,sir?

　　是啊 我在等您的电话

　　Yes,I was expecting your call.

　　三年前

　　Three years ago.

　　我知道了

　　I see.

　　等等 如果我不发言会怎么样?

　　Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech?

　　嗯嗯

　　Uh-huh.

　　那如果我不想奖励被没收呢?

　　And if I don't want to forfeit the award?

　　你想的办法倒是简单

　　Well,you've got that tied up in a neat little bow.

　　好吧

　　All right.

　　谢谢了

　　Thank you.

　　出问题了

　　Problem.

　　怎么啦?

　　What?

　　他们希望我在颁奖晚会上发言

　　They expect me to give a speech at the banquet.

　　我可不会

　　I can't give a speech.

　　不是吧 你搞错了

　　Well,no,you're mistaken.

　　你整天都在发言

　　You give speeches all the time.

　　你不会的是闭嘴

　　What you can't do is shut up.

　　对啊 看电影之前

　　Yeah,before the movie,

　　你就鳄梨沙拉酱为什么变黄演讲了20分钟

　　you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown.

　　它就是在你长篇大论的时候变黄的

　　It turned brown while you were talking.

　　和少数人说话我还挺自在的

　　I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups.

　　但是人多了我就说不出来了

　　I cannot speak to large crowds.

　　你觉得怎么样算人多?

　　What,to you,is a large crowd?

　　人多到可以踩死我就算多了

　　Any group big enough to trample me to death.

　　一般来说就是36个大人或者70个小孩

　　General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.

　　Sheldon 祝贺你啊

　　Sheldon,congratulations.

　　我从餐厅里给你带了奶酪蛋糕

　　Brought you a cheesecake from work.

　　是庆祝你获奖了

　　You know,'cause of your award,

　　不是因为餐馆工在上面打了喷嚏

　　not because a busboy sneezed on it.

　　- 我不领奖了  - 为什么?

　　- I'm not accepting the award.  - Why not?

　　没想到伟大的Sheldon Cooper也会怯场吧

　　Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright.

　　这可不是退缩的借口

　　That's no reason to back out.

　　我以前在高中也得到过一项荣誉

　　You know,I once got a pretty big honor

　　当时我也很怕

　　in high school,and I was terrified

　　在众人面前亮相

　　about appearing in front of a big crowd,

　　但是我克服了 结果呢

　　but I went through with it,and you know what?

　　作为漂亮女王团的一名成员

　　The world looked pretty darn good

　　坐在福特F-150车后头的干草堆上

　　sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150

　　我感觉世界美得不得了

　　as a member of the Corn Queen's court.

　　谢了

　　Thank you.

　　对了 我要是被提名为乡下人和平奖

　　Yeah,I'll bear that in mind

　　我肯定记住你的话

　　if I'm ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize.

　　Sheldon 你太荒谬了

　　Sheldon,you're being ridiculous.

　　我有吗?

　　Am I?

　　给你们说个故事吧

　　Let me tell you a story.

　　上哪儿去找需要的70个小孩?

　　Where's 70 children when you need them?

　　我14岁的时候以Summa cum laude从大学毕业

　　I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college.

　　"Summa cum laude" 是拉丁语"最高荣誉"的意思

　　"Summa cum laude" is Latin for "with highest honors."

　　我特别喜欢 你总是直接跳过

　　I just love how you always skip

　　没人发问的地方

　　over the part where no one asks.

　　我作为学生代表要致告别辞

　　I was valedictorian and expected to give an address.

　　直到现在 我都还记得当时

　　Even now,I can remember that moment

　　我走上讲台 注视人群

　　when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd.

　　肯定有好几千人

　　There must have been thousands of people.

　　我的心扑通扑通直跳

　　My heart started pounding in my chest.

　　结果我呼吸过猛

　　I began to hyperventilate.

　　视线开始模糊 之后就...

　　My vision became blurry,and before I knew it...

　　噢 天哪

　　Oh,dear.

　　噢 上帝啊

　　Oh,my God.

　　Sheldon啊?

　　Sheldon?

　　Sheldon 你没事吧?

　　Sheldon,are you okay?

　　别踩着我了

　　Don't trample me.

　　得了吧 母亲大人

　　Come on,Mother.

　　你明明知道我为啥不能接受那个奖

　　You know why I can't accept the award.

　　恕我直言 我没觉得祈祷能帮上啥忙

　　With all due respect,I don't think praying will help.

　　不 我没听过"主啊  请掌控这命运之轮"这首歌

　　No,I have not heard the song,"Jesus,Take the Wheel."

　　停 停 停 停 停 停

　　No,no,no,no,no,no,no.

　　你不用给我唱

　　You don't need to start singing it.

　　是的 我自己会去iTunes下载的 母亲大人

　　Yes,I'll buy it on the iTunes,Mother.

　　再见 母亲大人

　　Good-bye,Mother.

　　你们好

　　Hello.

　　快坐下

　　Sit down.

　　我们想和你谈谈

　　We want to talk to you.

　　我犯错了吗?

　　Am I in trouble?

　　我妈给你打电话了?

　　Did my mother call you?

　　快坐吧

　　Just sit.

　　我们觉得能帮你克服怯场

　　We think we can help you with your stage fright.

　　哦 是吗

　　Oh,I doubt that.

　　我比你们都聪明

　　I haven't figured out a way,

　　但仍未想出解决方案

　　and I'm much smarter than all of you.

　　没错 但一个诸葛亮却抵不过三个臭皮匠

　　Yes,but you're not smarter than all of us put together.

　　哦 抱歉

　　Oh,I'm sorry.

　　我就是那个意思

　　That is what I meant.

　　算了 总之你的问题是

　　Okay. Your problem is,

　　你想单靠自己来解决这个问题

　　you're trying to do this all by yourself.

　　我们可以帮你

　　We can help you.