托福口语:如何将句子形象化、可视化(在线收听) |
例题: Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important. Please include specific details in your explanation.
Answer:
The most important place to me is library. I like reading very much. In library I can read books I want, novels, science books, even history books. The knowledge I want is prepared to me.
解析:
(1) Original: In library I can read books I want, novels, science books, even history books.
Revised:In library I can read books I want, such as, novels, science books,even history books.
这样会使句子过渡衔接地更加自然,此外,such as它非常口语化,在口语中使用正合适,但是在写作中则不要使用为妙。
(2)深层次陈述问题方面的欠缺。
从上面的scripts中可以看得出他在全方位地支撑论点方面还有提升的空间。
其实他还可以从study, rest, date这几个分支来阐述。具体可以这样表述:Sometimes I can study there. Because it is a very quiet place; it is also a good place for me to take a rest. I can relax in the library. As nobody bothers me there; moreover, the library provides a wonderful environment for lovers to have a date.很明显添加这些内容之后,整个陈述就显得很完整了! |
原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/listen/tuofu/292269.html |