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Anchor: At 49, successful journalist Judsen Culbreth found herself divorced. Determined to date again, she turned to the internet for help. She posted an ad under the name GolfyGal, and told prospective guys: let's have some fun, it wasn't long before she was matched with Wally, a self-described southern gentleman. Apparently it worked out that because Judsen and Walter are gonna celebrate their 4th wedding anniversary this January. She offers her advice in her new book-The Boomers' Guide To Online Dating. And Judsen Culbreth is here with her husband Walter Kirkland. Good morning to you both!
Judsen: Good morning.
Walter: Good morning, Rene.
Anchor: We've been hencesuch a good time chatting about it during that last segregate. Why did you decide to turn to the internet initially?
Judsen: Well, I wasn't having very much luck on my own. Two years, two blind dates, at that rate, you know, I would've never met someone. So I heard these women at a brunch, they were professional women; they were talking about their successes. I said I am gonna give this a try. I posted a profile, and the next day, I had 84 responses, so it felt so great. (84, 84)
Anchor: And then, so you hear about her, and, I mean, how did you guys, tell me what it was like when you first actually met, face to face?
Walter: Well, I usually set up a very low risk date. So when we set up a date, typically what I would do is to say let's meet for a drink after work. And we did it at a restaurant down in a SOHO, and, but I said prior to, when I set the date up, I said I gotta leave at 7:00 o'clock, (yeah) because I have something else to do.
Anchor: Just in case you did, (exactly, you know. It is risky) you know, just wasn't like what you start, is that right?
Walter: This set up this sort of things that give yourself an ....(sure)But when I came in and I saw her, uh, about 5 minutes later, I said, you know my plans for the rest of the evening have been cancelled. Would you like to have dinner?
Anchor: And, and the rest is history as they say. (Exactly.)You know the book is really quite interesting, I think because it makes it, it's sort of de-mystified. I think a lot of people have an aversion to Internet dating, they think,oh, there's so.., it could be unsafe for what happen to you (Yes) what do you, what do you tell people when you hear that?
Judsen: Well, it's much less strangerers than meetings , I call it strangerers than meeting someone at a bar, or randomly, you know a lot about them, you have a chance to really find what their values are, what their interests are, what they like as a person before you ever meet. And the great thing about the, about the Internet dating is you get pre-qualified candidates, people who say they want a relationship, and tell you a lot about themselves.
Anchor: You know, and you have these tips (yes) to, uh, to determine whether you are ready and this is the acronym that you use ready: the first one is that you recovered from the past, the E is you are engaged in activities, the A is / accepting attitude toward men, and do you find a lot of women who are in this situation, don't have that?
Judsen: Yeah! I, my motto is you either hate him or date him. And if you wanna date him, don't put up ads and say no jerks allowed, or are you normal? or you know, only good guys need to apply , it's really, really a put-down. So think about your feelings about the opposite sex, get over that, and enjoy.
Anchor: So you really have to be ready. And the D is destined for love. And the Y is yearning to connect. I wanna take a closer look though at your, uh… and the R is recovered from the past. But I wanna take a closer look at you ad, the ad that you placed. Because, um, I think again, that might be a potential sticking point people trying to figure out what to put up. So here is your profile, and you put up the name Golfygal, why did you choose that?
Judsen: Well, I think in the activities, you wanna be a person, who's engaged in activities , fun to be with. And golf by the way, ladies, is perfect, coz more men and women love Golf. (Sure) And I was a golf nut, so I put up Golfygal. But it could be your career or a physical attribute or some, or you're warm-hearted, or outgoing, something like that.
Anchor: And the subject you put: let's have some fun.
Judsen: Yeah! Fun is important. People are looking for a companionship at our age, they don't wanna fight, they don't wanna, you know, have arguments, they wanna be with someone who like them, and someone that's engaged in fun activity.
Anchor: I like the profile, smart, trim professional, enjoys active, being active and sociable. That says a lot about you, too.
Judsen: Yeah! And if you can't think of these adjectives for yourself, ask a friend, what are the 15 words you will use to describe me? You wanna a blend of psychological traits, and your success or career and the things you like to do.
Anchor: And under the summary.
Judsen: Well, when I say...
Anchor: Brings it all together and puts a nice little photo
Judsen: You really are, uh, selling your self, you wanna a clear photo that shows what kind of product you are, and the last sales tip is to ask for the business, tell someone I want to meet you, why don't you come to my site? why don't you talk to me? and, and you really wanna ask them to meet you.
Anchor: And, Walter, you guys probably would've never met, coz you were live in New Jersey, she was in Mahattan, well, you would never have met her in person.
Warter: Yeah, it wouldn't be possible to meet somebody like her in any other circumstance. So
Anchor: Wow, you guys. Congratulations!
Judsen: Thank you.
Anchor: On the three and half years, and hopefully many, many more.
Judsen: Oh, yes.
Anchor: Judsen Culbreth and Walter Kirkland, good to see you guys.
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