Larry King: Is it true are you picking the Oscar winners?
Jon Stewart: Yes. This year they're going to try something different is just right before the announcement I'm just going to write whatever name pops into my head on a card and that's who wins. It's very different this year because Price Waterhouse, as you know, was bought by a company in Dubai, so the security at this year's Oscars is going to be handled by an Arab company.
Larry King: So, in other words this will be a set up?
Jon Stewart: What will be a set up?
Larry King: The winners. You will know the winner before it's announced?
Jon Stewart: No, no, of course it's a, it's a very protected process and it's a and it's very er, secretive and no one can know. Actually, no one does know until -- I feel badly for the guy in the orchestra. Bill Conte has to learn all five songs depending on whether or not who's going to win. I'm hoping Terrence Howard wins. I just want to hear Bill Conte and the orchestra play "It's Tough out Here for a Pimp."
Larry King: Hah hah hah hah...
Jon Stewart: I just want to hear how that sounds with violins. (Hah hah hah...) Are you not? Have you been to the Oscars?
Larry King: I, I've never, you know, I've never. I go to the "Vanity Fair" party but I've never been to the Oscars. Oh, George Clooney invited me to be his guest this year.
Jon Stewart: And I'm sure he meant that.
Larry King: I'm sure he did. I'm holding him.
Jon Stewart: What could happen? If I, If it goes badly for me, what could happen? Will they stop honoring film? Like what, what really is the huge jeopardy here? It's really just for me right?
Larry King: There's no jeopardy. The only jeopardy is you. (Except for me is that I will be scorned.)
Jon Stewart: I mean do you know that let's say Letterman had a bad time is that part... And he seems to have bounced back. He seems to have done reasonably well.
Larry King: Yes, I would say.
Jon Stewart: Yes, so I think that -- and by the way have you ever watched that show, like I have a DVD of it? He's hilarious. He's really funny on it. It's actually quite funny and the Uma Oprah thing that everybody always talks about he tagged it with, "Oh, and also I want to introduce you to my friend Keanu" and the place went crazy. They laughed like hell. So, it's, you know, the lore of it is somewhat different than it seems the reality of it.
Larry King: You are very cool with this.
Jon Stewart: I'm sorry?
Larry King: You're very cool with this.
Jon Stewart: I'm excited that. You know I feel like so you give up a homerun in the All Star game, do you know what I mean? At least you got there. I have very low expectations for myself,
Larry King: Hah hah hah...
Jon Stewart: so this is one of those things that, you know, it's it has surprised me so far people's anxiety level for me. You know there's -- I really have gotten a sense where people are like "Are you OK?" And I I just think yes.
Larry King: Well you know why. You're not Hollywood. You're not...
Jon Stewart: Right.
Larry King: You're different.
Jon Stewart: But that's why I think the jeopardy is much less for me. What are they going to do bump me down from basic cable? How far lower? Where am I going to go public access? What can happen? This is the biggest stage I've ever been on. It's it's er,er, the grandest opportunity I've ever had. I just think it's, it's (OK) I vow to enjoy it.
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